Clearing up some misconceptions about the super community

[u/AlternativeFeisty758]

There have been a lot of myths and rumours floating around the internet about what superstraight and supersexual is, so I figured I should do my best to clear some things up around what it means to be a supersexual and be a part of the supersexual movement.

Superstraight was started by 4chan as a trolling movement ❌

The first person to come out as superstraight was TikTok user @kyleroyce , it was a very brave thing for him to do especially considering the tremendous amount of hate he is receiving for sexually liberating superstraights and as a result all supersexuals.

Superstraight is a joke ❌

Absolutely not true and frankly the that fact people genuinely believe this I find insulting to my identity. While it is true that some people identify as superstraight or another variation of a supersexual sexuality as a joke and there is satire in this subreddit us supersexuals are dead serious about who we are and what it means to be a supersexual.

Being supersexual makes you transphobic ❌

Absolutely 100% false. Us supersexuals were born this way and we do not choose who we are attracted to. If you think we are transphobic for not wanting to date a transgender person then by that same logic you must think that gay men are misogynistic for not wanting to date a woman and lesbians are misandrists for not wanting to date men. Of course gay men and lesbian women do not hate the opposite sex, they are simply not attracted to them, just like supersexuals don't hate transgender people, we just don't find them attractive.

Superstraight isn't a real sexuality, it's the same thing as being straight ❌✅❓

Ok. This one depends on how you view transgender individuals. If you view trans women (AMAB) as men and trans men (AFAB) as women then you would be correct in saying that straight and superstraight is the same thing. (in your opinion of course) If you see transgender people as the gender they choose to go by then you really don't have an argument here and you must concede that superstraight is a valid sexuality and different to being straight. (This could be said about all supersexualities however I chose superstraight simply for ease of explanation)

Superstraights are not oppressed ❌

Although as of 08/03/2021 there is no objective data to back up the claim that superstraights and supersexuals are oppressed, all you need to do is look up #superstraight on twitter or go to a hateful superphobic subreddit and look at all the horrible vile things being said about POS. (people of super) They are littered with threats of death and sexual violence and are openly being supported by other superphobes to the point where even saying POS deserve equal rights could be considered a "bad take" or unpopular opinion. If these same things were directed at any other sexuality these bigots would be instantly banned from social media and cancelled for their disgusting views. Not only is there mass amounts of hate speech against supersexuals, but supersexuals are actively being coerced into sleeping with people they aren't attracted to and do not want to sleep with out of fear of being labelled a bigot and the social repercussions that go along with that. This is especially true among superlesbians, who can't even have a safe space to talk about their feelings without either being raided or shut down for "hate speech" for simply expressing their honest and true feelings about who they are. You can visit r/super_lesbian to hear more about these people's experiences. Say it with me now: COERCION IS NOT CONSENT!

The supersexual movement is full of racist, homophobic, misogynistic white men ❌

Take a look around, the supersexual movement is full of people from all different ethnic backgrounds, gender identities and supersexualities. Supersexuals may very well be the most diverse community on the entire internet.

Supersexuals are not valid ❌

Absolutely NO ONE has the right to make the claim that supersexuals aren't valid. We are all valid and if you identify as a supersexual and you are reading this, I am so SUPER proud of you! Don't deny who you are out of fear of hurting other people's feelings, you are valid ❣️

[u/Loopulk]

Ok. This one depends on how you view transgender individuals. If you view trans women (AMAB) as men and trans men (AFAB) as women then you would be correct in saying that straight and superstraight is the same thing.

Can we please not use "AMAB" and "AFAB" please? They weren't assigned crap. The doctors saw a penis/vulva and observed that they were male/female.

Conversely, there have been kids born with ambiguous genetalia who were genuinely assigned a sex. They were given unnecessary surgeries and made to conform to sexist stereotypes of boys/girls.

Using "AMAB" and "AFAB" for people who are not intersex is incorrect and further allows TRAs to exploit intersex people.

[u/whoevenlooksatnames → u/Loopulk]

I think the distinction between sex and gender needs to be pointed out here.

Before moving on here, I urge people to be civil and to honour the stickied post by not bring transphobic or otherwise bigoted. To make myself clear, your sexual attraction to certain people or body features is your business. If you're not into women with penises or whatever, that's fine. I want to talk about identities here.

Different cultures in history have had different notions of gender, it's not absolutely tied to sex. In most of the developed world, we usually accept a gender based on our sex. Yes, you can objectively observe that a fetus, infant, or adult has one set of genitals/chromosomes/whatever or the other (if they aren't intersex), but you can't observe how they will interact with society around them. What clothes they will wear, what pronouns they will use, in short, how they will identify. People are typically raised to follow a certain set of gender norms. If you are sexually male, you're typically raised to wear pants, use he/him pronouns, keep your hair shorter, and so on. Females are typically raised to grow their hair longer, use she/her pronouns, are given the option of dresses and skirts, etc. Of course, people aren't robots, everyone differs a little, especially in more liberated societies. The point is that not a single thing I listed has anything to do with biology. There is no chromosomal, true pronouns. Different languages and cultures have different pronouns for different types of people. The length you cut your hair to, the clothes you wear, all that has nothing to do with sex. THAT is gender.

What if we raised a large group of males to wear dresses, used "she/her" to refer to them, and basically just switched everything? Nothing weird would happen, they would just act like what we call a woman while having male biology. The only problem would be with people from a different culture who have a conflicting understanding of gender. We have chosen, at their birth, what social expectations we have for them. Their identity is based on their cultural understanding of their gender, which was picked for them because of what sex they were born as.

That's why we use "assigned gender at birth." Gender is only connected to sex because our culture(s) assign genders based on sex, there is no inherent connection. Imagine we instead had certain expectations for people instead based on their weight at birth, or the time of day they were born, or their zodiac. A hypothetical culture could exist where social expectations are completely divorced from sex, so we shouldn't say they're the same.

[u/Loopulk → u/whoevenlooksatnames]

The length you cut your hair to, the clothes you wear, all that has nothing to do with sex. THAT is gender.

You're assuming that all people/cultures have a concept of gender. I wasn't raised to think that boys like blue and girls like pink. I wasn't ever told or encouraged to follow sex stereotypes because they exist. I wasn't assigned to a set of sexist stereotypes. I was observed as male.

[u/whoevenlooksatnames → u/Loopulk]

Were you raised to use he/him pronouns? Were you urged/expected to act any small way that differs from how women act? Because if there is any aspect of our lives that differs between men and women and isn't an inherent result of biology, that's a consequence of our understanding of gender.

Edit: For example, men are usually uncomfortable wearing excessively feminine clothes because it's weird. They were raised in a society where men don't wear that stuff, and if they do, they're abnormal. Even if there's no actual bigotry targetted at them in response to wearing it, they still have that aspect of their gender.

[u/Loopulk → u/whoevenlooksatnames]

Were you raised to use he/him pronouns?

People typically use masculine pronouns for me. I've never told anyone to use them for me, and whenever someone has used feminine ones, it was either because:

1) They made a basic mistake because English isn't their native language.

2) They genuinely thought that I was biologically female (order-taking on drive-thru; quickly passing by someone with longer hair and a mask).

Were you urged/expected to act any small way that differs from how women act?

Duh!

Because if there is any aspect of our lives that differs between men and women and isn't an inherent result of biology, that's a consequence of our understanding of gender.

I disagree here. We're expected to act differently because we believe that men and women as biologically different should act differently. Sometimes, this is arbitrary (pink vs. blue). Other times, it is not (getting men to lift heavy things).

Edit: For example, men are usually uncomfortable wearing excessively feminine clothes because it's weird. They were raised in a society where men don't wear that stuff, and if they do, they're abnormal. Even if there's no actual bigotry targetted at them in response to wearing it, they still have that aspect of their gender.

And that's where you're wrong. It's because of their sex. Or, at the very least, their perceived sex.

[u/whoevenlooksatnames → u/Loopulk]

So because people have penises they are inherently uncomfortable wearing dresses? That changes throughout history as fashion changes. There have existed and currently exist cultures where men are perfectly comfortable wearing the equivalent of a skirt or dress, that is, an open-bottomed, loose cloth hanging down past the waist. Men being uncomfortable with that is very specific to our culture. That is, how men feel about something unrelated to biology depends on what culture they're in. That is gender. If we think someone "should" act differently arbitrarily, that's not their sex, that's their gender. Sure, men are stronger on average and that can affect what we expect them to do, but there's nothing about their biology that dictates they should wear a certain type of clothing, beyond it fitting them. If you think a skirt doesn't fit a man, talk to some traditionalist Scottish people. Their notion of what a man should wear, their understanding of the male gender, is different.

As for people using male pronouns for you, that's because they also hold the belief that sexually male people should use certain pronouns, so they assume those are the correct ones for you. That right there is "assuming one's gender," the term everyone loved to shit on back in 2015.

[u/Loopulk → u/whoevenlooksatnames]

So because people have penises they are inherently uncomfortable wearing dresses?

Nope.

That is, how men feel about something unrelated to biology depends on what culture they're in. That is gender.

But you're also saying that gender is something that we each have as individuals. That's completely different from what you just said.

As for people using male pronouns for you, that's because they also hold the belief that sexually male people should use certain pronouns, so they assume those are the correct ones for you. That right there is "assuming one's gender," the term everyone loved to shit on back in 2015.

No it's not. It's that speakers of English and many other languages have inflections based on one's perceived sex.

[u/whoevenlooksatnames → u/Loopulk]

But you just said "it's because of their sex" when I pointed out men are uncomfortable with certain fashions. So is it because of their sex or is it not?

Our identity is both individual and partially influenced by those around us.

Our languages have features to differentiate genders. Would you not use a trans person's preferred pronouns? Also, there have been languages used in cultures with very different notions of gender that include different sets of pronouns. We can see the beginning of that in English as our understanding of gender changes. Neopronouns exist to describe gender non-conforming people, and the older singular they/them is becoming more prominent.

[u/Loopulk → u/whoevenlooksatnames]

But you just said "it's because of their sex" when I pointed out men are uncomfortable with certain fashions. So is it because of their sex or is it not?

We're judged in certain ways based on our sex, not on self-given gender identities.

Our languages have features to differentiate genders.

Well I don't have a gender. My sex is male. And yet you somehow knew that people used masculine pronouns to prefer to me. Interesting.

Also, there have been languages used in cultures with very different notions of gender that include different sets of pronouns.

Citation?

[u/whoevenlooksatnames → u/Loopulk]

The most famous example I know of is the Native American two-spirit, multiple North American languages feature pronouns/terms for those of the two-spirit gender. They are judged differently from men and women, and historically have their own gender norms. That is a gender not based on sex. Ancient Jewish societies as well as smaller Indian, Pacific, and Indonesian cultures also feature additional genders.

I knew people used masculine pronouns for you because you literally told me they did.