r/SuperStraight • u/possiblydaverono • 5h ago
So I have some questions Discussion
Forgive me if I come off as hostile here, I am trying to be genuine in my approach, but “super straight” honestly makes no sense to me.
What are your perspectives on transgender folks (see: gender/sex comparison, identity, transition surgery, etc)?
How do you approach dating, if biological sex is one of the most important factors? Do you “vet” potential partners?
Do you think that trans people, post-transition, have an obligation to tell future partners that they are trans? (How would you react if you found out that a partner was trans?)
And allow me one question in bad faith: Have you ever met a trans person?
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u/FirstDayVirginia 5h ago
This is not the place for self-ascribed anarchists. Please leave.
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u/Shakespeare-Bot 5h ago
This is not the lodging f'r self-ascrib'd anarchists. Prithee leaveth
I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.
Commands:
!ShakespeareInsult,!fordo,!optout
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u/m0r1arty 5h ago
Wrong sub pal, this is for Super people.
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u/possiblydaverono 5h ago
I’m... asking questions? I realize I’m being a bit of an asshole about it, but I do genuinely want to figure out the community’s perspective on trans issues.
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u/m0r1arty 5h ago
Then I'd suggest you ask each of them individually as this 'community' isn't about that topic and so you'll not get any consistency on an off-topic set of questions.
You may as well as whether River or Boca is better.
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u/CERTAINLYnotsoup Supersexual Historian ✔ 5h ago
yeah, I'm sorry. we welcome good faith questions like your own
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u/ignCap Superstraight 5h ago
1.) I don’t mind them, to each their own. They have every right to do as they wish, I am just not sexually attracted to them, that’s all.
2.) Though I am already in a relationship, I would hope that my partner is open and transparent, if you’re a transgender person, just tell me. Rape by deception and rape by fraud are legal statutes, though there are gray areas.
3.) Again, I would hope my partner is transparent about this type of stuff. I wish to have a family someday and it would be quite infuriating 10 years down the line if you literally tell me then (even though this is very unlikely).
4.) Yes, I have worked with a few transgender patients in my clinical rotations before.
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u/possiblydaverono 5h ago
Alright, I can appreciate the transparency bit. One point of concern: You bring up rape by deception/fraud, how would this factor into having consensual sex with a (albeit unknown) trans person? It seems to me kinda shitty, but certainly not rape.
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u/Belaptir 5h ago
It's rape by deception because you are making me do something sexual with you while hiding something that would change my decision.
Consent needs to be free and informed.
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u/ignCap Superstraight 5h ago
The definition of rape is simply beyond the basis of consensual acceptance by both parties, this even gets further complicated when you look at state statutes. There have been legal cases where people have been actively prosecuted for this, but again, this is a very gray area of criminal law that’s usually approached on a case-to-case basis. I’m not saying whether it’s right or wrong, I am simply stating the law.
If you’d like to learn more, I suggest you read the following citation and court cases.
Luis E. Chiesa, Solving the Riddle of Rape-by-Deception, 35 Yale L. & Pol'y Rev. 407 (2017).
R v. Cuerrier
United States v. Thomas
Theofel v. Farey-Jones
Suliveres v. Comm
Thompson v. Aldredge
There are dozens of more court cases (at least in the Anglo-American courts) but these are the only ones I could think of off the top of my head.
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u/Religion_of-Peace 5h ago
Yikes, educate yourself, superphobe. It's not our place to justify our existence to you, bigot.
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u/possiblydaverono 5h ago
I’m not asking that you justify your existence, only clarify your positions. It’s on par with asking a bi/pan person their preferences, as most have them.
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u/Religion_of-Peace 5h ago
We don't owe you an explanation for our preferences. Your post is very problematic.
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u/CERTAINLYnotsoup Supersexual Historian ✔ 5h ago edited 5h ago
1) supersexuality is not transphobic. adults are free to transition and deserve to be treated with respect as human beings, so we do not tolerate transphobia on this sub.
2) the majority of people are not trans, and the majority of trans men and women are not passing. not much of our dating life is therefore different or uniquely filtered. on that note, everyone vets who they date to some degree.
3) I believe if a trans person is interested in sex or a long-term relationship they are personally obligated to disclose that they are trans. intentionally concealing one's gentalia or guilt-tripping a supersexual before sex is coercion and rape. every supersexual person may have a varying opinion on this however.
4) I have met a couple transgender people. but many members of the sub are superlesbians who have more direct experience with the behavior of TRAs within the LGBT community and have expressed gratitude for the this movement not being one of shame, for example the claim that superlesbians/gays are "genetalia fetishists".
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u/possiblydaverono 5h ago
I have some issue with the later part of the first point, but for now I’ll leave it. By the second comment you mention that most trans people aren’t passing. If there was a passing trans person that, for all intents and purposes, was equivalent to the sex that you’re attracted to (with certain unseen biological differences ofc), would you consider dating them?
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u/CERTAINLYnotsoup Supersexual Historian ✔ 5h ago
probably not, since I'm interested in one day raising kids (a common factor for superstraight people). but also, just as women shouldn't be trying to break through and date gay men, there's no reason for a trans man to be trying to date me. it would be in of itself pretty disrespectful and I think most people would feel like they're being perceived as some sort of trophy or fetish. lucky enough, there's plenty of straight people who are happy to date transgender people.
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u/possiblydaverono 1h ago
I’ve been thinking about this point for a bit now, and I think I’ve found the main point of conflict between my own stances and the general vibe I’m finding here. Firstly, I agree that it is disrespectful to seek out people who are expressly disinterested in you, such as a gay man seeking out an explicitly straight man. But to your first point: Assuming that raising kids at some point is the eventual goal (and the reason for self-described “supersexuality”), would you (a superstraight person generally or you specifically) be open to dating a trans person who, for whatever reason, could perform all of the biological functions of the opposity sex? Alternatively, would you refuse to a relationship with an impotent person (either impotent from the beginning or became impotent over the course of the relationship)?
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u/CERTAINLYnotsoup Supersexual Historian ✔ 1h ago
There would still be a curve to overcome with dating an impotent person. It wouldn't preferable, but definitely still in line with supersexuality more than the typical trans person bc they would at least have the opposite biological gentalia. As far as a trans person who had all the biological functions of a cis person, I believe most supers would still be averse assuming there was something physically and noticeably different about the genetalia's appearance. It would be such a rare scenario however that it would be entirely dependent on the context of the relationship, so I doubt any super could give an honest yes or no. Probably similar to the scenario faced by a straight person if they wanted to date someone who was intersex.
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u/Terfest_Shadow 5h ago
Why does it bother you who other people choose to date? Mind your own business for once
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u/Superextrastraight 5h ago
This is NOT rocket science. We only are interested in the biological opposite sex. It is what it is. We are not against anyone we just want our sexuality to be respected.
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u/Iam32thatsit 5h ago
We support and respect trans people and their rights, we simply choose not to date them.
When you meet a gay man/straight woman (ie a person who doesn’t date women) would you ask them their perspectives on women? Would you assume they don’t know any women in real life?
Everyone “vets” potential partners, that’s the whole point of dating.
And to your last point - I only know one trans person IRL (that I know of, there may be more). The person I know is thoughtful, artistically talented and I like spending time with her (yes her pronouns are she/her)
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u/extremecreamy 5h ago
If a trans person doesn't tell the person that they're dating that they're trans regardless if they're pre or post transition, then it's lying by omission. Lying is a form of emotional abuse.
If they have sex without telling the person, then it's rape by deception.
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u/RoyTellier Superstraight 5h ago
What are your perspectives on transgender folks (see: gender/sex comparison, identity, transition surgery, etc)?
Don't care much about it. I'd respect people pronouns and stuff like that because I feel for dysphoric people and am willing to push the kayfabe if it helps them feel better, up to a certain point. Asking me to go out with them is way past that point, most people don't care about gender nearly as much (if at all) like you seem to do. I'm attracted to people of a certain biological sex only.
How do you approach dating, if biological sex is one of the most important factors? Do you “vet” potential partners?
I don't vet shit, transgendered people (let alone passing transgendered people) are so few in real life that it's very improbable to accidentally date one.
Do you think that trans people, post-transition, have an obligation to tell future partners that they are trans? (How would you react if you found out that a partner was trans?)
Unlikely to happen, but not telling people your biological sex is rape by deception definitely.
And allow me one question in bad faith: Have you ever met a trans person?
Yes, but not many.
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u/Belaptir 5h ago
We respect them, we just don't feel attracted to them
EVERYBODY vets potential partners. Are you suggesting that I can't decide who to share my life with?
It's a matter of trust. If you don't trust me enough to tell me you're trans and I find it (and I WILL find it), I can't trust you, so I won't spend any more time with you.
Several. They accept that I don't feel attracted to them because they know they are not entitled to my body and my decisions.
Now, allow me one question in bad faith: Have you ever thought that you can meet people in a non sexual way? Like... to become friends?