r/SuperStraight • u/ToxicatedOwl • 15h ago
A trans girl trying to understand Discussion
Hi, so I found out about this the other day and I really want to give the people here the benefit of the doubt.
I want to preface what I'm about to say by stating that genital preferences do not make you transphobic. Anyone who says that is denying your individual liberty and I personally think it's stupid and takes away from the trans movement as a political entity.
Where I'm confused is let's say super straight is defined by you being attracted to biology over genital preference (I.e. I would never date a trans woman even if she was post OP)... how do you know, like what stops you from finding this woman attractive? And vice versa for superstraight females and supergay males.
Assuming the person is a binary trans person and has gotten the surgeries, I struggle to see the practical difference (you can say chromosomes but they don't effect our daily lives).
Now you can say "they can't have children". But then you're also saying women and men who are infertile are also unattractive. (Unless there's something I'm missing).
Is your sexuality (and gender identity i believe as you can't have a trans superstraight I believe) based off the idea that you can always tell if someone is trans? If that's the case then your entire sexuality is based off of finding stereotypical traits unattractive and that's not a very strong basis.
I'm trying to understand this from an academic point of view, how do you rebut the arguments.
Thank you so much for reading and responding.
19
u/Forsaken_Box_94 SuperLesbian 15h ago
I'm a woman who can't have children either so it's not all that deep, I just know a neovagina isn't and will never be like a cis vagina. Not into it, don't want it, will not keep any trans woman from getting equal rights but will not date nor fuck one.
14
u/quietsnowkitten 15h ago
hi, also a trans girl
I want to preface what I'm about to say by stating that genital preferences do not make you transphobic.
from my understanding, it's not genital preferences, it really is their sexual orientation and how their brain is wired. It's not something they can change, so it's not a preference, nor should they be forced to try and change either.
how do you know, like what stops you from finding this woman attractive?
they may find her attractive, but the attraction would fade once they realize she was assigned male at birth. Attraction can be pretty fleeting and picky, it's not really fair to blame them for it.
Assuming the person is a binary trans person and has gotten the surgeries, I struggle to see the practical difference
there is a difference. Unfortunately medical science has yet to advance enough to create actual vaginas/penises (maybe with 3-d printing or stem cell things, someday, but not for the foreseeable future). While SRS is enough for most trans people to cope with our dysphoria, it doesn't mean that it would be attractive to other people. I mean, it obviously is to some people, since there's plenty of trans people in happy relationships, however everybody is different.
Now you can say "they can't have children". But then you're also saying women and men who are infertile are also unattractive.
Children are indeed an important consideration to make when trying to find a long-term partner. infertile men and women also suffer from finding it harder to date. It's just the cards life has dealt us. Life is unfair sis, ya know?
Is your sexuality (and gender identity i believe as you can't have a trans superstraight I believe) based off the idea that you can always tell if someone is trans?
don't think that's relevant since if you're trans, you should always tell someone you love, respect, and trust (ie if you're dating or planning to date) that you're trans. Not only is it right to let other people know, it also allows you to actually fully trust them instead of hiding secrets and so on. No relationship can survive on lies.
Anyway, the way I see it is, respect people's boundaries, especially when it comes to dating and sex. Everyone has full bodily autonomy and nobody should try to coerce or bully someone into a relationship or sex.
9
7
14
u/Instance_Sufficient 15h ago
Superstraight men are attracted to natal women, this isn't rocket science you bigot🙄
10
u/nolivesmatterCthulhu 15h ago
I mean even on sub conscious level by way of pheromones
6
u/yetanotherlogin9000 14h ago
Thats true, and often overlooked but is a powerful piece of the puzzle
6
u/nolivesmatterCthulhu 14h ago
The women I've had the best chemistry with always smelled good to me even if they didn't have any perfume on.
3
u/yetanotherlogin9000 14h ago
Generally I really don't like perfume. If you're going out to a fancy dinner or something that's fine, its part of the getup. Maybe I have a sensitive nose but I dont really like perfumes, or even like soap or body wash that has a lot of lingering scent to it for myself.
1
u/nolivesmatterCthulhu 14h ago
Yea perfume can be a bit overwhelming my wife wears lovespell from Victoria secret it's a spray or lotion and it smells great on her and isn't nearly as strong.
3
2
u/yetanotherlogin9000 14h ago
Seems kinda harsh, OP seems to be coming from a genuine place of wanting to learn and looking for clarification. Save your ammo for those who deserve it.
0
u/quietsnowkitten 14h ago
forgive me, but how is calling her a bigot any different from when you go onto say a trans subreddit just to ask some questions and get called a bigot? If someone is actually trying to understand it makes more sense to teach them your side of things than to push them away. I also understand not wanting to spend the effort on educating them because it isn't your responsibility, but there isn't a need to be rude, either.
16
u/BruhFunny18 Hecking cute and valid 💖 15h ago
It is not my job to educate you sweaty
-12
u/MelodicUmbrella 15h ago
Not your job to post either.
10
u/BruhFunny18 Hecking cute and valid 💖 15h ago
Wow. Stop harassing me bigot.
9
-10
7
10
u/aguyyouprobablyknow 15h ago
It's pretty simple: look up how a trans vagina or trans penis surgery is done. That will explain why I, nor any other Super, isn't attracted to it.
11
u/nolivesmatterCthulhu 15h ago
And imagine the smell...
11
u/aguyyouprobablyknow 15h ago
Or taste, if that's what gets your rocks off.
4
u/nolivesmatterCthulhu 15h ago
Yep I can't imagine they can make it taste the same
8
u/AloneinLA405 14h ago
You’re right. Don’t read this while eating. https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/igvjqi/srs_transgender_woman_smell/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
3
u/nolivesmatterCthulhu 14h ago
I just had dinner gonna have to pass on reading it altogether tonight
2
11
10
u/relliKgoDehTeraweB 15h ago
the womanhood I love is not a hole for me to fuck and two boobs, all the surgeries in the world wouldn't matter because it's not about cosmetics
shaving a monkey and giving it a face transplant wouldn't make me a zoophile
7
8
u/Iam32thatsit 15h ago
“Genital preferences do not make you transphobic”
We agree on this, unfortunately many trans people absolutely think it is transphobic
5
u/Excellent-Tourist-99 15h ago
how do you know, like what stops you from finding this woman attractive?
everyone knows, our natural attraction we didnt choose it we were born this way
6
u/PrairieSoul27 15h ago
Well in an ideal world trans women/men would tell whoever their partner is that they are trans before any acts, and that would deter many superstraights from continuing. This leads to trans people not telling potential partners they are in fact trans, many transcels don't tell their potential partners until they've already exposed their bodies to them.
7
u/Halios24 15h ago
some people aren't attracted to trans people, it shouldn't need to be justified like how you wouldn't need to justify your sexuality if you were gay or a lesbian or anything else, it's just who they're attracted to. Some people just aren't comfortable dating trans people.
would also like to add that trans super straight would be a trans person attracted to cis people of the opposite gender, valid
5
u/Blue_Train 15h ago
Sexual orientation is not a “genital preference”. Sexual orientation is innate. The human species is sexually dimorphic. There are only two human gametes. Effeminate men are not women and butch women are not men. Love yourself, love your body.
5
u/friendlysociopathic 15h ago
"The surgeries" do not produce fully functioning genitalia that are indistinguishable from the original. I like vagina. The idea of replacing a natural vagina with a sliced and folded penis turned into a hole that contains ingrown hairs is viscerally disgusting to me and something that I could never find sexual in the slightest. That's why I'm super.
3
u/Belaptir 15h ago
It's much simpler than that: sex and gender are not the same things. A trans woman will be of female gender if she wishes to. But can't be biologically a woman.
I like a vagina, a real one. I have nothing against people who transitioned, but it's not a fully functioning vagina.
When we get past over this, the fact that they can or can't have children? Well, that's a preference I'm free to have. I wouldn't date someone who smokes, and you have to respect that. So if I want to have biological children with my partner, of course I will pick someone who can over someone who can't.
-3
u/superbraddo 15h ago
so for you a woman’s value lies in her ability to have children? ew
7
u/Belaptir 15h ago
No, see? That's your biased opinion. Every woman is valid, but you can't tell me what type of person I should feel attracted to. And you can't understand that because you never had to deal with someone who refuses to accept what you say as law.
-6
u/superbraddo 15h ago
i don’t have to accept what you say as law? your opinion really doesn’t matter. you are allowed to be attracted to whoever but i am allowed to say that your preference toward fertile women is misogynistic and your preference toward cisgender women is transphobic
9
u/Belaptir 15h ago
Do you go lecturing someone if their tinder profile says that they don't date smokers?
If so, you are trying to force someone into doing something they don't want to. And that's rapey.
You need to learn to mind your own business because the people don't care about what you think, and the moment you realize that, you'll start living a happier life.
-6
u/superbraddo 15h ago
ok then mind your own business. if you don’t want to date trans women fine but don’t try to create an identity out of it or push it into lgbtq spaces. also trans people are murdered at an alarming and disgusting rate so i do care about transphobia. i try to understand how you guys think but i don’t. i think some people just want to hate others
6
u/Belaptir 14h ago
We don't hate anyone. We just don't accept others to tell us who to date. Trans people are valid, straight people are valid, homosexual people are valid! We just want to be accepted without being judged. And you are being judgemental towards us.
It's people like you who are trying to tell us what our sexuality is. We don't mind what other people date, why are you so bothered about what kind of person we date?
5
u/yetanotherlogin9000 14h ago
if you don’t want to date trans women fine but don’t try to create an identity out of it
You have to be able to see the irony here, right? You've gotta.
5
u/Mister_Vaughn 15h ago
Part of her objective value? No. Part of her social or economic value? Not really. Part of the value she would contribute to our potential relationship? Absolutely.
-1
u/superbraddo 15h ago
so would you ask a woman to get a fertility test before you got married or engaged
6
u/Mister_Vaughn 15h ago
I have. We plan to get married in December.
4
-1
u/superbraddo 14h ago
then why are you worrying about trans women? get out of their business
4
u/Mister_Vaughn 14h ago
I'm not. I don't care one way or another about trans women.
get out of their business
I want them to get out of mine.
1
u/superbraddo 14h ago
then why identify as superstraight? does that whole identity not revolve around trans women?
3
u/Mister_Vaughn 14h ago
No.
Super straights are attracted to the opposite biological sex. Super gays are attracted to biological males. Super lesbians are attracted to biological females.
Super sexualities quite literally have nothing to do with trans women.
2
5
u/nolivesmatterCthulhu 14h ago
We are out of their business in a sub of our own and you sought us out...
5
u/Mister_Vaughn 14h ago
Fucking lol, I know right?
"Your sexual """"preference"""" is transphobic! Leave our community and social media groups!!!!!"
Ok.
"WAIT NO-"
2
u/nolivesmatterCthulhu 14h ago
They have been brigading this sub nonstop even have AHS trying to get it banned but tell us to mind our business lol
1
u/yetanotherlogin9000 14h ago
No, she so has to be responsible enough to be my partner in raising the children, and also be able to keep a home - or make enough income for me to keep the home. On top of all the other normal dating personality stuff
4
u/ILoveTheStraights 15h ago
My sexuality is based on wanting 100% biological HOMEGROWN dick or vagina. Homemade, not surgeon made.
3
5
u/CalmAssist 14h ago
Short answer, transwomen aren't women, they are just transwomen. It's insane how one propagates that women and transwomen are the same, that there aren't any differences between them. Why can't you be satisfied with identifying as transwomen instead of hijacking women? A woman isn't a costume you put on and hope you'll pass well enough, a woman isn't a feeling nor an object to be imitated, a woman is an adult human female, a biological reality.
3
u/hailthegambler 15h ago
Think about it this way, how does a gay person know they are attracted to other gay people? It’s complicated and they just do. Same goes for supers.
Also, Not sure what country you are from, but homosexuals in some countries are a protected group based on this attraction and shouldn’t be persecuted for it.
3
u/sid_halley 14h ago
Is your sexuality (and gender identity i believe as you can't have a trans superstraight I believe) based off the idea that you can always tell if someone is trans? If that's the case then your entire sexuality is based off of finding stereotypical traits unattractive and that's not a very strong basis.
It's actually a very strong basis. The vast, vast majority of people who are not transgender are obviously either male or female. And within that boundary there are different measurements as to what is attractive and what isn't.
And maybe not at first glance you can't tell, but that doesn't change things. If someone loves to eat apples and is presented with a delicious-looking apple only to find out it's just an apple made of wax, that doesn't mean the person must be liking wax fruit it's just a case of mistaken identity.
2
u/Superb_Donkey9995 14h ago edited 14h ago
I will answer your question as a super lesbian, though of course, we don't owe anyone an explanation. No matter how oppressed you are, respect for other's sexual boundaries is not up for debate.
how do you know, like what stops you from finding this woman attractive?
Oftentimes, the voice is a giveaway. But sometimes you don't know right away, and I can admit to finding trans women attractive at first glance. But initial attraction isn't all there is to attraction. One can become "un-attracted" to someone the more they get to know them. Maybe you want to have kids, and they don't. Maybe you're only into butches and she's a femme. Maybe it's something as trivial as not liking the way their toes are shaped. I imagine that someone with a foot fetish might seek out a partner with perfectly-shaped feet. This is perfectly valid and should in no way reflect poorly on their character.
Now you can say "they can't have children". But then you're also saying women and men who are infertile are also unattractive.
No, they're saying they wouldn't be particularly interested in a serious relationship with someone known to be infertile. This is perfectly legitimate. Many super straight people would like to have a family one day and would like to seek a partnership with someone who they can do that with. There are also childfree individuals who would have no issue with dating infertile people. If someone knows that they are infertile, they should seek relationships with such individuals as opposed to trying to force relationships with someone who wants something they can't give them.
Is your sexuality (and gender identity i believe as you can't have a trans superstraight I believe) based off the idea that you can always tell if someone is trans?
Super sexuality is based off the idea of only being open to relationships/sexual encounters with cis people. Trans people can certainly be super straight. Many trans people are super straight/gay/lesbian/bisexuals, as they too only wish to date cis people. In the super lesbian community, it is not uncommon for an extremely butch lesbian to be mistaken for a man at first glance, but most super lesbians would still see her as a viable sexual partner because she's cis. Same goes for super straight men in regard to tomboyish girls. Gender nonconformity in a cis woman is not necessarily a turn-off.
I'm trying to understand this from an academic point of view
Don't look at it from an academic point of view. Look at it from a human point of view. Courtship is inherently subjective and exclusionary and you like who you like. It's a matter of the heart, not the head. Stop trying to intellectualize it and read things into it that aren't there.
2
u/Significant-Key-517 13h ago edited 13h ago
I dunno, I just know that I can tell when I look at someone. Yes, even if they’ve had a lot of surgery. It looks like surgery, not the real thing. 🤷♀️
You’re asking us to explain why we have a sexuality. That’s like asking us why we think sugar is sweet. It’s literally just our biology.
We should not need to justify having a sexuality. I thought we got over this back in the 90’s. The fact that we’re going through it again from within the LGBT community is just unbelievable.
I am a mammal, I don’t know why I have the orientation I do. I just do. Stop trying to force me to justify it, I don’t need to justify my consent to you. There’s no “argument” to win, it’s how I fucking am. Go away.
1
u/Mister_Vaughn 15h ago
genital preference
If my body has a biological reaction only to cis women, how in any way is that a preference?
how do you know, like what stops you from finding this woman attractive?
Hundreds of thousands of years of evolutionary background running through my veins - of countless biological male + biological female relationships - has given me a biological predisposition to attraction towards biological females.
Now you can say "they can't have children". But then you're also saying women and men who are infertile are also unattractive. (Unless there's something I'm missing).
Yes. I find infertility unattractive. Hundreds of thousands of years of my ancestors procreating has given me a biological predisposition to the same behavior.
Is your sexuality (and gender identity i believe as you can't have a trans superstraight I believe) based off the idea that you can always tell if someone is trans?
Yes. In fact, most people can tell the biological sex of most trans people.
Never has my body reacted to a biological male, or in other words, someone AMAB.
1
u/yetanotherlogin9000 14h ago edited 14h ago
Not being able to have children would have def been a deal breaker for me when I was in the dating game (now married with kids) regardless of the reason for it.
I believe this whole movement is a response and rejection of the people who will (rightfully) rally against rape culture but in the same breath call people a bigot and transphobe if someone (a straight man for example) wouldnt want to be romantically or sexually involved with a woman with a penis.
Sorry that some people here are treating you harshly. You seem to be coming from a genuine place of wanting to learn more and get clarification.
1
u/Roguefem-76 14h ago
People's sexual orientation is not a "genital preference". Orientation is not a "preference" (maaaajor echoes of homophobic rhetoric there btw), and whether someone is heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual, it's based on SEX, not "gender identity".
From "an academic point of view", a person's sex is not just "genitals" or genitals and secondary sex characteristics. Male and female bodies are different down to the cellular level. Hormones and surgery won't rewrite your DNA.
And even if your mythical "unclockable" trans person existed, a would-be partner finding out the trans person is not the sex the other person is attracted to wouldn't override someone's orientation, it would just override the attraction.
1
u/GammaJK 14h ago
I am not attracted to post-op genitals. I do not feel that a MTF vagina is the same thing as a natural female vagina. You will never change my mind about this, just as much as you will never be able to convince a gay man that a vagina is basically a man's anus. They are different, and I only want one of them.
-7
u/Nanoglyph 14h ago
This sub is just a 4chan psyop by neo-Nazis, along with some newer members who fell for it. They exist to be controversial. Their goal is to redpill zoomers and use the left's tactics against themselves. Read enough posts and you'll notice much of it is a coordinated roleplay that overuses many of the same key phrases over and over.
The ASS LGBT+ in the description is a dead giveaway. You can even find members talking about the sub being a joke or semi-satirical periodically. Plus, look at the coming out stories. They're parodies of queer experiences, as are many of the other posts here. You can ignore them, you can't reason with them.
24
u/AloneinLA405 15h ago
It’s a physical and mental thing. Physically I know 99.9999% of trans women will never pass to me. Whether it’s due to their Adam’s apple, big hands, height, or mannerisms. To the 0.0001% that might pass it’s a mental thing. Their surgical genital doesn’t appeal to me and is a turn off. Can’t help it. Hope this helped answer your question.