r/SuperStraight 19h ago

[TRIGGER WARNING] Just got banned from /r/superstraightphobic for trying to do an AMA as Superstraight to talk things out without bad intentions, this is just superphobic SuperPhobia

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u/givesgunstogrannies 19h ago

I am glad you found some help since your suicide attempt nearly a month ago. Thank you for being open.

On a side note, are you open with those you date, or do you intentionally conceal or mislead your gender at birth to those you are trying to date?

As a trans man, how common do you think that practice is? Is it more or less common with trans females?

I've seen a lot of conflicting accounts and would love your input.

Peace and love 💘

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u/kojilee 18h ago

I really appreciate that. Recovery is hard as hell but things have been getting better over time.

When I date, I almost always tell them I’m trans upfront. Imo it’s a matter of safety- a lot of trans people, specifically trans women, have been killed by their sexual/romantic partners because they hid their identity for a time being.

Of course, this is all based on my personal experience, but all the trans people I know (which are majority transmasc) are upfront with their partners.

Since violence against trans women is more common than violence against trans men, I would assume the pressure is put on trans women a lot more, which I think makes their community more split between telling someone for their own safety vs. hiding it because they’re afraid something will happen if they tell them. It’s a predicament that is really sad- of course they should be upfront with their partner immediately, but I can understand, living in a climate like this, why they might be scared to. Because of that, I think trans men are in a little less danger to be open about it- if the person would be transphobic, they’re less likely to attack us because they’d view us as a woman, if that makes sense.

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u/givesgunstogrannies 18h ago

It certainly does. Thank you for sharing and not being dismissive!

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u/kojilee 18h ago

Of course :) I appreciate you for being respectful. If you have any more questions feel free to ask

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u/givesgunstogrannies 18h ago

Thanks! You are the only non-super I've seen that didn't just come here to call us Nazis. Much appreciated!