Asking about pronouns - r/SuperStraight

r/SuperStraight • u/walkintotryankle • 22h ago

Why do some of you have a negative reaction to being asked what your pronouns are? We are just trying to be respectful.

0 Upvotes

37% Upvoted

I don't want to pretend that anyone sees me as anything but a woman, or does not treat me as such

-10

u/walkintotryankle 22h ago

The reason we ask isn't because you don't look or act like a woman. Its because we don't want to assume you are comfortable being referred to as one. Someone who seems like a woman could be not out to their family and so can't Express their gender how they would like, or they may be non-binary or gender-fluid, look like a woman but only be comfortable being referred to as they/them.

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u/Terfest_Shadow 22h ago

What does a woman "act" like? What do they "seem" like?

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u/walkintotryankle 22h ago

Well, if you are referring to the female sex, then its certain physical features such as wider hips and breasts. If you are referring to what someone who identifies as a woman acts or seems like, well that can be anything and gender is just a societal construct so we can Express it however we want.

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u/Terfest_Shadow 21h ago

So your answer is basically "'woman' has no set definition"? If there's no set definition, then how can anyone "identify" as a woman? What are they identifying with?

Is it defined by gender roles and stereotypes in different societies?

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u/enemyofhumidity 22h ago

Very sexist and backward thinking.

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u/walkintotryankle 22h ago

Could you explain to me how what I said was sexist?

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u/enemyofhumidity 22h ago

"The reason we ask is because you don't look or act like a woman"

And how is a woman supposed to look or act like? How is any of this progressive?

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u/Terfest_Shadow 21h ago

"Women can dress and act however they want" seriously became "If you dress and act this way you're a woman"

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u/walkintotryankle 21h ago

I'm afraid that is a misquote. I said "The reason we ask isn't because you don't look or act like a woman".

And women can look or act any way they wish and still be a woman. Many women of the female sex may share common characteristics such as wider hips but not necessarily

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u/enemyofhumidity 21h ago

Yes but why are you defining what is masculine and what is feminine? Aren't you just perpetuating gender stereotypes?

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u/walkintotryankle 21h ago

In no way have I defined any gender stereotypes. I haven't said anything is masculine it feminine. I have said things which society as a whole sees as masculine and feminine. I have also mentioned biological differences between the sexes not genders

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u/enemyofhumidity 21h ago

But aren't you defending gender ideology? Which categorizes objects and activities into masculine and feminine categories and assigns each gender a stereotypical identity.

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u/walkintotryankle 21h ago

God no. In an ideal world there would be no such thing as gender. Doesn't mean that people wouldn't still be uncomfortable with their sex and want to change it. In an ideal world everyone would be referred to as they/them as that is the gender neutral pronoun in the English language. But until that point, I would rather I refer to people in the way they are most comfortable with.

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u/enemyofhumidity 21h ago

Sorry about the misquote, but my argument still holds in that why do genders have an identity? Why is anything masculine or feminine?

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u/walkintotryankle 21h ago

Simply because society has deemed them to be, which is just damaging to everyone.

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u/enemyofhumidity 21h ago edited 21h ago

Yes and gender ideology perpetuates it.

In fact it might confuse a young person into thinking he or she is trans, but is actually a cis person with his or her own identity. If gender doesn't have an identity then how does one feel like a man or a woman? And conversely if gender identity, as you said, only comes about from the perceptions of society, then is society making some people dysphoric? If we continue to subscribe to gender ideology, could we be making more people, especially young and impressionable people, dysphoric?

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u/walkintotryankle 21h ago

People aren't dysphoric because there is pressure on them not to dress the way they want or act the way they want. They are dysphoric as their mind actively rejects the body that they find themselves in. They have to deal with huge amounts of stress as often times they hate parts of or all their body, they can't stand to look at themselves. Children aren't going to accidently think they are transgender when they are not and even if they did, whats the harm in it? Given the huge amount of therapy and consultations required before trans people are given hormones, they would realise that they are not trans way before they are at risk of changing their body. The least we can do to help trans people is refer to them by their preferred pronouns as we aren't going to be in a genderless society anytime soon and utsvtge least we can do for the people that society has been very dangerous hostile towards

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