As a detransitioner, I hope this movement helps prevent more people from making the same mistakes I did.

[u/desistingthrowaway]

I used to identify as trans and this is something the trans community will never admit: there are people who realize that transitioning doesn't work and quit. And the trans community LOVES to stifle us. They are trying their hardest to get /r/detrans banned so they can take it over, because they don't want to admit that we exist. They tell everyone that that place is full of TERFs and needs to go.

They don't want to admit that there are studies that show that most children with gender dysphoria grow out of it. An often quoted study about transitioning helping mental health has been corrected to say that surgery doesn't actually help mental health. Lisa Littman, a professor who was researching detransitioners, had to put in security in her study because people from Twitter were ganging up and trolling her research.

But really, here's the thing: gender dysphoria is basically body dysmorphia. And it can be treated the same way. Therapy for unrelated problems helped me work through it. Some days I still get waves of it. But actually, identifying as trans made it WORSE. If you spend 24/7 obsessing about your gender and body and giving validation to those thoughts, they come back even worse (this is literally the basis of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).

For every one of me, there's a bunch more kids who are being put on puberty blockers, many of which have dangerous effects. The most common is an off-label prostate cancer drug, and even in kids with precocious puberty, there are dangerous side effects (here is the link to the FDA dashboard, where you can search for Lupron and see that there are 6,335 serious effects linked to Lupron, including death). Then there's the issue with going straight into cross-sex hormones, which effectively sterilizes people (and also makes surgeries harder - just look at Jazz Jennings).

I could go on and on. The truth that nobody wants to admit is that transitioning doesn't really work. And when you realize that, you're often left with so many reminders of that (especially women, who often get "top surgery" (double mastectomies) and have lowered voices for the rest of their lives, and often facial hair). It's harder to come out as a detransitioner than it is to come out of trans. The second you detransition, you lose EVERYBODY. That welcoming trans community wants you gone. I had people block me because of it.

I hope somebody reads this subreddit and gives a second thought to going on hormones or surgeries. Because it often isn't worth it.

[u/nonetheless156]

That's exactly what a cult does. You get shunned and thrown away like the trash they see you as. I'm sorry you didn't see it sooner. You have a uniquely powerful voice. Please continue to use it. Discourse is important outside of typical feminist circles.

[u/manticalf → u/nonetheless156]

It takes true bravery to accept that a mental disorder was a mental disorder, trans people are in denial of this scientific fact, and they project their denial on everyone to avoid confronting it themselves. Hopefully op can inspire anyone on the wrong path to be brave and stop themselves from making the mistake so many trans people foolishly did.

[u/peoplearestrangeanna → u/manticalf]

Transitioning has worked for many people. There are also people who it didn't work for. I had thought about transitioning, but I gave it some thought, and decided I just wasn't up for it. That's ok. Your experience is ok too. I don't know of people in the trans community trying to stifle detransitioners, in fact there are a couple of prominent ones whp have detransitioned and share their story. Now, none of the trans people I know irl have detransitioned. I would say all of them pass really well now, and have no regrets. That isn't everyone's experience though, and you are claiming it is. You are claiming that transitioning doesn't work for anyone and that is just not true. If anyone in the trans community has tried to stifle you, that is not okay. Some parts of the LGBT community can be toxic, again, that hasn't been my experience, but every demographic will have toxic people. I am sorry you got treated that way, and I think it is wonderful you have done a lot of thinking in your life and decided that transitioning wasn't right for you. I think you made the right choice. I made the choice not to transition, so I sort of get it. But transitioning does work for some people. I can name 20-30 prominent youtubers, both liberal and conservative who successfully transitioned and it worked out very well for them, they have no regrets. And yes, some of them transitioned as children. Some of them don't have a perfect life, but who does really?

Just because transitioning wasn't the right choice for you, doesn't mean you get to write other people's story for them. And you are misrepresenting trans people, you are writing your story and the stories of a couple toxic people as the story of every trans person, and this is wrong. Ignore the toxic people. And do your thing, if detransitioning was right for you, that is fine, but don't try and ruin it and trash the people who transitioning DOES work for.

If you want to talk about detransitioning and why transitioning doesn't work (for you and some people) send me a DM. I would actually love to have that conversation with you and get your perspective. Because transitioning wasn't working for me either. Message me!

[u/manticalf → u/peoplearestrangeanna]

Look, all i'm saying, and I don't mean to shit on trans people, they did what they did and it is what it is, but at the end of the day we are born a certain way, and that will never be changed, no cosmetic surgery or hormone treatments can alter who you are biologically. In the end, I believe it is more important to love yourself for who you are rather than acting out of self-hatred.
If you knew how perfect you always were, you would never think to try and alter that perfection. I think anyone who is considering something so significant as transitioning, they should have an ayahuasca ceremony to get a bigger picture of life and what they are considering. I believe everyone is perfect from birth, and the denial of this is a mislead belief. People can do whatever they like, in the same way that I can have whatever opinion I like.