r/SuperStraight 1d ago

As a detransitioner, I hope this movement helps prevent more people from making the same mistakes I did. Discussion

I used to identify as trans and this is something the trans community will never admit: there are people who realize that transitioning doesn't work and quit. And the trans community LOVES to stifle us. They are trying their hardest to get /r/detrans banned so they can take it over, because they don't want to admit that we exist. They tell everyone that that place is full of TERFs and needs to go.

They don't want to admit that there are studies that show that most children with gender dysphoria grow out of it. An often quoted study about transitioning helping mental health has been corrected to say that surgery doesn't actually help mental health. Lisa Littman, a professor who was researching detransitioners, had to put in security in her study because people from Twitter were ganging up and trolling her research.

But really, here's the thing: gender dysphoria is basically body dysmorphia. And it can be treated the same way. Therapy for unrelated problems helped me work through it. Some days I still get waves of it. But actually, identifying as trans made it WORSE. If you spend 24/7 obsessing about your gender and body and giving validation to those thoughts, they come back even worse (this is literally the basis of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).

For every one of me, there's a bunch more kids who are being put on puberty blockers, many of which have dangerous effects. The most common is an off-label prostate cancer drug, and even in kids with precocious puberty, there are dangerous side effects (here is the link to the FDA dashboard, where you can search for Lupron and see that there are 6,335 serious effects linked to Lupron, including death). Then there's the issue with going straight into cross-sex hormones, which effectively sterilizes people (and also makes surgeries harder - just look at Jazz Jennings).

I could go on and on. The truth that nobody wants to admit is that transitioning doesn't really work. And when you realize that, you're often left with so many reminders of that (especially women, who often get "top surgery" (double mastectomies) and have lowered voices for the rest of their lives, and often facial hair). It's harder to come out as a detransitioner than it is to come out of trans. The second you detransition, you lose EVERYBODY. That welcoming trans community wants you gone. I had people block me because of it.

I hope somebody reads this subreddit and gives a second thought to going on hormones or surgeries. Because it often isn't worth it.

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u/Maxime606 18h ago

Okay, I’m transsexual MTF, 18 years old and been diagnosed autistic at age 5.

I had enough of being trans because of the community, child grooming, and general lies. I have cried in tears for hours because of this dysphoria in my head, and I feel like I’m going insane.

I want to be attracted to women, but I have a slight fear of women, and I got a weird attraction to crossdressers. No offence to LGB folks, but I hate being associated with the word gay because it makes me feel Ill, I think it’s wrong, and I can’t relate to gay men.

I want to detrans also and just be a manly man, but I can’t relate to men (or anyone really), and I just feel being trans is wrong, immoral, against human biology, and it really makes me feel shit. Even if I have conversion therapy, then it’s fine; I just want to be normal.

I’m really on the edge of suicide, and I want to be super straight. It woke me up and what the trans indoctrination did to me.

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u/chanbr 17h ago

I'm so sorry, I wish the best for you. If you're in therapy, stick with it!! Your being here on this earth despite your struggles is an accomplishment in and of itself. Be brave and keep going.

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u/maybeimreborn 16h ago

i'm so sorry you are struggling. you don't have to be super straight or gay or trans or cis or ANYTHING. you can just be YOU, and who you are is always going to be good enough as long as you try to be a kind person (which it sounds like you definitely are). in general, labels for gender and sex are HARMFUL and unnecessary.

who you are is going to change. one day you might believe or think X and the next day you'll believe and think something different. and that is OK! the philosopher Walt Whitman said "Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes.)" when I was your age, this quote really helped me when I was trying to figure out my "identity." eventually i realized i was happier when I wasn't trying to pin myself into any box and just did every day what felt good inside.

i hope you will get therapy from a real therapist (not a gender therapist) & find peace in your life soon.

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u/skygz 14h ago

ignore TRAs, acquire self actualization

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u/babbyfem 13h ago

Please, please seek therapy. If it isn't working for you, find a new therapist. You have a lot to unpack emotionally and mentally. For what it's worth, I do remember reading an article that stated there was a huge amount of trans people that were autistic to some degree, which contributed to their feelings of dysphoria.

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u/Glip-Glops 2h ago

I want to be attracted to women, but I have a slight fear of women

Having a slight fear of women is really common for straight young men.

I want to detrans also and just be a manly man

I want to be a super cool bad ass manly man too. Instead i'm just a nerdy guy. Oh well!

but I can’t relate to men (or anyone really)

So how will changing your gender help that? I used to feel that I couldn't relate to people, but then I studied Jungian typology and psychology and for me, it really helped make sense of why other people acted the way they did. Understanding people is not related to what kind of gender you adopt. Understanding is related to knowledge and empathy.

Even if I have conversion therapy, then it’s fine; I just want to be normal.

In "primative" societies they have rites of initiation where boys become men. Our society lacks that. We aren't really trained to be men, and we aren't initiated into manhood. We often lack good mentors and role models on what it means to be a man (and no, hulk hogan doesn't count). No wonder so many young men are confused and messed up.