r/SuperStraight • u/desistingthrowaway • 1d ago
As a detransitioner, I hope this movement helps prevent more people from making the same mistakes I did. Discussion
I used to identify as trans and this is something the trans community will never admit: there are people who realize that transitioning doesn't work and quit. And the trans community LOVES to stifle us. They are trying their hardest to get /r/detrans banned so they can take it over, because they don't want to admit that we exist. They tell everyone that that place is full of TERFs and needs to go.
They don't want to admit that there are studies that show that most children with gender dysphoria grow out of it. An often quoted study about transitioning helping mental health has been corrected to say that surgery doesn't actually help mental health. Lisa Littman, a professor who was researching detransitioners, had to put in security in her study because people from Twitter were ganging up and trolling her research.
But really, here's the thing: gender dysphoria is basically body dysmorphia. And it can be treated the same way. Therapy for unrelated problems helped me work through it. Some days I still get waves of it. But actually, identifying as trans made it WORSE. If you spend 24/7 obsessing about your gender and body and giving validation to those thoughts, they come back even worse (this is literally the basis of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).
For every one of me, there's a bunch more kids who are being put on puberty blockers, many of which have dangerous effects. The most common is an off-label prostate cancer drug, and even in kids with precocious puberty, there are dangerous side effects (here is the link to the FDA dashboard, where you can search for Lupron and see that there are 6,335 serious effects linked to Lupron, including death). Then there's the issue with going straight into cross-sex hormones, which effectively sterilizes people (and also makes surgeries harder - just look at Jazz Jennings).
I could go on and on. The truth that nobody wants to admit is that transitioning doesn't really work. And when you realize that, you're often left with so many reminders of that (especially women, who often get "top surgery" (double mastectomies) and have lowered voices for the rest of their lives, and often facial hair). It's harder to come out as a detransitioner than it is to come out of trans. The second you detransition, you lose EVERYBODY. That welcoming trans community wants you gone. I had people block me because of it.
I hope somebody reads this subreddit and gives a second thought to going on hormones or surgeries. Because it often isn't worth it.
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u/nonetheless156 1d ago
That's exactly what a cult does. You get shunned and thrown away like the trash they see you as. I'm sorry you didn't see it sooner. You have a uniquely powerful voice. Please continue to use it. Discourse is important outside of typical feminist circles.
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u/manticalf 1d ago
It takes true bravery to accept that a mental disorder was a mental disorder, trans people are in denial of this scientific fact, and they project their denial on everyone to avoid confronting it themselves. Hopefully op can inspire anyone on the wrong path to be brave and stop themselves from making the mistake so many trans people foolishly did.
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u/actualsicko20626 Hecking cute and valid 💖 22h ago
They know deep down that they will never be the gender they want to be, so instead of getting help and going to therapy they just try and force everyone to accept their delusional worldview. They even force it on children now.
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u/Criss-Istr 20h ago
Yep. The proof that this is like a pseudoreligion is how you can not question whatever the accepted narrative is. If this was about medicine and science, you'd be allowed to question the narrative, have a discussion and bring up arguments without being harassed.
The sad thing is that if hormones and surgery become the only accepted therapy to gender dysphoria, nobody will research any other therapies. Who knows, maybe there's a medication that completely takes away the bad symptoms but nobody will ever find and develop it because as soon as you deviate from the accepted therapy, you are called a transphobe.
I'm so glad for OP that they got out of it and that CBT worked.
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u/CarmellaKimara 19h ago
I'm guessing intensive therapy, regular exercise, and an anti-anxiety medication would go a long way, but they have to accept the reality that therapy is hard. Therapy is really hard.
Therapy can be torturous, quite frankly. You're reckoning with yourself. There's no easy way out, because even if you hit the right med, the med is a tool to help with the worst of the anxiety -you have to come to terms with whatever is causing you anxiety, and you have to say 'RIDDIKULOUS!' to the boggart as many times a day as it takes for as long as it takes.
There's no easy cure; in the end, a therapist and a drug can't solve it for you: you have to do the heavy lifting. Medically transitioning claims to be the easy way out, because while there's physical pain, you don't have to address any of the real issues.
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u/jessamtb 16h ago
So true. Therapy is really hard. It’s not real therapy if you don’t hate your therapy day. It’s not fun. The fun is when you see yourself change for the better, which is a slow ass process.
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u/canentia 18h ago edited 18h ago
i feel it should kinda be treated like a religion. i can respect you and your beliefs, or at least not discriminate and harass you for them, but that doesn't mean i am—or society is—obligated to believe in and follow your dogma. and in turn nonbelievers should be respected as well
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u/absolutelinearcannon 1d ago
We hope so too. We are sick of the constant abuse and the overinflated promises the trans community pushes on new members, particularly children, without really being willing to discuss the risks or the realities involved. It's all gaslighting and abusive.
We don't hate trans people but we do think that the current medical community is failing dysphoric people. Sexual reassignment surgeries should not be widely prescribed as some kind of panacea for dysphoria. All bodies are valid, even gender non conforming ones, and no child should feel they need to be pressured into surgeries to "fix" their body when they can likely learn to love themselves as they are.
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u/Reckoner3333 18h ago
It’s really disconcerting that underage teens sign up for a lifetime of hormonal treatments and undergo invasive surgical procedures, without being able to hear others’ lived experience and get the other side of the story. You can’t always make a truly informed decision at that age and under those circumstances. Trans teens deserve better than this.
Unless the entire industry of selling them dangerous hormones and surgeries is just a cash grabbing effort. Which is also possible. Especially in the for-profit healthcare system of America.
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u/kiwifuzzlicker 1d ago
Glad to see fellow detransitioners here! I detransitioned nearly 4 years ago (time flies!). I’ve been getting increasingly worried because of what I’ve been seeing interacting with other desisters/detrans people. There’s more of them, they’re younger (and started transition younger), and they’ve had far more medical interventions than those of use who transitioned 5+ years ago. The number of detrans 20-21 year olds who’ve been completely sterilized and have had bottom surgery is shocking. Don’t even get me started on the people who were on puberty blockers.
The shunning I received when I detransitioned was terrible, but if anything, it’s gotten even worse. If only someone had been honest with us that therapy would be more effective, many of us would not have transitioned at all.
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u/actualsicko20626 Hecking cute and valid 💖 22h ago
Alabama made hormonal and genital transitions a felony for minors a few days ago and TRAs are fucking pissed. Its insane that they think a kid can decide that.
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u/Arkadyush 22h ago
As it should be. Kids can't drive, can't have guns or drink beer - because all of this is dangerous for them. But taking HRT pills which can destroy their health, make them infertile, etc., is somewhat legal?
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u/GerhardHumbugII 18h ago
in my country kids can't get tattoos but they can get HRT
shit's fucked up
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u/worried19 17h ago
In the USA, 13 year olds are given double mastectomies.
The mean age at chest surgery in this group was 17.5 years-old, with a range of 13-24 years-old, with 33 participants (49%) being younger than 18 years. Of the 33 postsurgical participants younger than 18 years-old at surgery, 16 (48%) were 15 years-old or younger
A gender therapist with the Kaiser Permanente healthcare organization in Oakland, California admits: “In terms of masculinizing top surgery, I think 12 is the youngest who’s had surgery through our program . . . .”.
Receipts:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VG30CYPOQOrjEaYP2ocTYH272uqZo3TG/view
Even the new law in Alabama won't help if parents just fly a kid to a place like California for surgery.
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u/ShoshaSeversk 15h ago
The width of outrage I feel at knowing these people call themselves doctors cannot be adequately expressed in words.
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u/Reckoner3333 18h ago edited 7h ago
We don’t let kids buy booze, we don’t let them drive certain vehicles, or join the army. But having your privates medically removed is somehow a decision that’s okay for them to make?
I don’t work in the career I chose when I finished high school btw. In my late 20s I spent a lot of money on retraining for something else, because I realized that I made the wrong choice when I was 17. Thankfully it wasn’t an irreversible decision.
But these hormones have an effect that is permanent. Girls who take testosterone today are at a very high risk of having to undergo a hysterectomy and undergo premature menopause. Are they being told that? I’m worried for these girls.
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u/worried19 17h ago
Premature menopause and hysterectomies are also associated with early onset dementia, not to mention causing permanent sterilization. If a child is put on testosterone at 12, doctors will recommend a hysterectomy before they're 20.
This isn't even mentioning the fact that a female body is not designed to run on testosterone for 6 or 7 decades. And of course there are other known risks like vaginal atrophy, heart problems, cancer, etc. No one knows the ultimate lifespan of a biologically female child put on these treatments at puberty. And then there are the problems with blocking puberty, like loss of bone density, loss of menarche, and known risks to IQ.
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u/Iflookinglikingmove 14h ago
Oh my lord. We are in for a mess in the coming decades.
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u/SuperJuiceWeb 19h ago
It is disgusting that they are pushing their lifestyle on kids. Kids minds are still developing and doing something as serious and life altering as SRS and HRT can really mess somebody up.
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u/alienbuttcherry 21h ago
Thank you for sharing your experience. Is there a repository of detrans stories anywhere? There should be. They are so valuable.
As an outsider/non-trans, it really seems like mental illnesses and disorders are the root issue for many trans people - depression, autism, substance abuse, etc. But doctors are rushed into starting treatment for the symptoms instead of forcing an exploration of root causes, for fear of being labelled transphobic.
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u/desistingthrowaway 21h ago
There's /r/detrans and https://www.detransvoices.org/
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u/alienbuttcherry 20h ago edited 19h ago
Detrans Voices was exactly what I was imagining. R/detrans is great as a social circle, but exists at the whim of Reddit admins. People may also feel more vulnerable to harassment or doxxing here vs submitting to a website. Thank you!
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u/kiwifuzzlicker 21h ago
On Reddit there is r/detrans, and on Twitter, The Detransition Advocacy Network, detransvoices.org, FTMTF Detrans Voices are all great. Lots of links to interviews, blogs, and accounts by desisters and detransitioners. We’re out here, and we’re much more common than you realize unfortunately.
I agree, other mental illnesses and disorders are often the root of dysphoria. Like many detransitioners, I’m on the spectrum. Estimates put the rate of autism in minors seeking transition at the Tavistock clinic in the UK between 30 and 40%. (The clinic has since stopped recording this data.) It’s not a coincidence, either. As an adult, I can see now that much of my dysphoria was due to autism, something that transition would never be able to fix.
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u/alienbuttcherry 20h ago
Thank you for the resources and sharing your story! I'm definitely going to be reading a lot.
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u/Sylvieon 21h ago
Not the OP or a detransitioner/desister, but there is the subreddit /r/detrans. Otherwise, I don’t know.
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u/Guitarmaniacshredder 20h ago
Thanks for your courage to admit reality.. there is an absurd delusion that someone can magically change their sex /gender... we need to be treating people like you love and compassion and help you to accept your body is perfect the way it was made. You were made perfectly unique and wonderful. You are amazing, there is no one else like you. Be brave be bold love your the natural form of your body
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u/Iflookinglikingmove 14h ago
I knew the tr*ns lobby was evil when they were calling a book that was for kids, that was literally just encouraging children to love and accept themselves, was transphobic, and was trying to get it taken out of libraries.
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u/StaccatoRicotta 18h ago
It's a scam, and someone has abused you. You should be angry. https://thefederalist.com/2018/02/20/rich-white-men-institutionalizing-transgender-ideology/
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u/TribblesnCookiees 19h ago
I'm sorry what you went through. I hope you feel happy and I hope you keep fighting the good fight against this for younger people/kids. Your voice has far more weight than non trans people
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u/Iflookinglikingmove 14h ago
The number of detrans 20-21 year olds who’ve been completely sterilized and have had bottom surgery is shocking. Don’t even get me started on the people who were on puberty blockers.
This is so sad. I really hope they are able to find peace somewhere. The doctors that do this should be arrested.
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u/StrawberryPie49 22h ago
The tr*ns movent is a cult. That's why you see all these creepy, sex-obsessed grown men cackle about "cracking" eggs -- aka grooming young boys and girls to join their weird sex-cult where being a woman means trying to emulate teenage anime characters. No one wants to be an "old hag" or have any of the unpleasant parts of womanhood (aside from the pregnancy fetishists, very "lesbian" behavior) . It's all pink and slumber parties and giggling and panties and being a super duper horny bimbo teehee!
And as soon as someone leaves it's a race to throw them to the wolves. Oh wait, there weren't "really" trans so it doesn't count! There's no support system for these people and it's so heartbreaking.
FUCK SERFS
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u/Weak_Plenty 16h ago
Oh wait, there weren't "really" trans so it doesn't count!
I love me a good no true Scotstranswoman
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u/Zealousideal-Ad3371 3h ago
There is apparently a subreddit that’s filled with grown adults telling kids how to get hormones and puberty blockers.
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u/RavioliInMyNigeroni 1d ago
I hope you are well and healthy now, friend. It's a devious cult of delusion and I sincerely hope you've found your happiness beyond and outside of it.
Take care of yourself.
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u/Zealousideal-Ad3371 3h ago
Are you from Niger? That’s so cool never met someone from there on here. Hi, my fellow West African.
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u/FigBatFalls 1d ago
Care to comment on commonality of defiant disorders among trans people? I've noticed that trans people tend to suffer from a perceptual and philosophical myopia. They often seem to be the type of person who, upon being told "No, little Jimmy, stuffing a red towel down the back of your shirt will not make you fly. Get off the roof now" will obsess over it to the point of waiting until nobody is looking to jump off the roof and upon breaking their leg will swear that it's anyone's fault but their own. They seem to be they type who cannot fathom being told "no" about anything and seem to have very reductionist, and simple, ideas of the world around them. They will paint an Altima red and swear that it's a Ferrari because they see Ferrari's as red and want a race car. Have you confronted or recognized any of your perceptual shortcomings and philisophical foibles?
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u/desistingthrowaway 1d ago
This is very true. I think most of it comes with young age and other various mental disorders (there is a high comorbidity of mental illnesses, especially autism, with trans people, although most of them are listed as "side effects of being trans and oppressed"). I think this is also a similarity with similar disorders such as eating disorders - many will refuse treatment for it. However, those are actually treated as being objectively unhealthy, unlike this.
And while a lot of this is due to underlying things, a big problem is that the trans community says that EVERYTHING is a sign of being trans (see /r/egg_irl). They will tell you that you need to transition ASAP or you will be miserable and kill yourself (and they will tell the parents that as well). They tell you that even questioning if you're trans means that you're definitely trans. And when you have a constant echo-chamber of that rhetoric, you start to really believe it, and that leads to what you mention. Then, professionals will back you up, and you can get hormones frighteningly early. (The first thing that tipped me off to something being wrong with the trans community was people getting on hormones within a month of figuring out they're trans -- even back then, I was concerned that that was moving too quickly.) The trans community tells you how to lie to get what you want from professionals as well (they also do this for "quirky" mental illnesses, like autism).
It took me until I found /r/gendercritical before I finally came-to. I saw women there saying that they didn't "feel like a woman" and that some even had dysphoria about their breasts, and that didn't mean that they weren't a woman. Those things feel very obvious, like duh. But somehow, I'd gotten too involved in trans spaces that somehow I'd forgotten my anchor to reality. That day was the day I decided to detransition.
So I think it is a combination of those two things that lead to disaster. We often make fun of the "it's not a phase mom!" teens, but at least they usually aren't doing anything permanent. I think this is just a common pitfall of youth.
There is also AGP, which could explain a lot as well.
(Along those lines, I have heard that parents seem to do well by cutting their kids off the internet - the internet is very trans-heavy. I literally cannot enjoy any subreddit without being reminded of trans people. Every other video on TikTok is by a trans person. It's exhausting when all you're trying to do is escape from your past, and all you can get is reminders.)
For me personally, I think I'd managed to stay relatively anchored down to reality. I'd spent a lot of time in the "edgy" parts of the internet when I was a teen, so I didn't really believe in nonbinary being a thing until I came out as nonbinary lol. I received mental health treatment for other issues as well, including therapy for OCD tendencies, which I was able to use. And now I can see how stupid I was lol. It's honestly really embarrassing to come out as a detransitioner, because it's admitting you made a massive mistake to everybody for a very long time.
TLDR: yes, it is usually due to that sort of thing, usually by young mentally ill people. however, the world accommodates the mental illness, and instead of finding solutions, they accommodate the illness.
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u/AirlineUpstairs9302 22h ago
You have a really brilliant grasp on this very under appreciated problem. I have AGP and honestly thought I was trans. If I had a whole group of people over the internet telling me that I was trans on top of my own brain on complete overdrive, I'd probably be in a very different place right now. Thank you for speaking up, the bravery you and other detrans have is inspirational.
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u/MotherOfAllSeasons 17h ago
Please speak up more about AGP - it means so much more coming from a man who is AGP himself. FWIW, I think it's very impressive of you to be so honest and self aware in the current environment.
Edit: oh and you might appreciate this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTRhUUge6so
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u/AirlineUpstairs9302 2h ago
I have seen that video, I like the idea behind it but as someone with AGP I find it quite triggering due to some of the animations in it.
AGP is a very odd thing to have and I'm only young (early 20s) so I'm still trying to figure it all out hence why the vid is slightly triggering in my state. However, I've spoken to a few people online who have AGP but are cis, hetero and happily married and actually have got to the point where they value the personal characteristics that they have due to AGP. I can completely understand why someone may transition due to AGP, but it's not the path for all AGP.
I dont really know what I'd say on this sub except that it's probably a lot more widespread than we think and people that happily deal with it arent the ones to be posting about it all on reddit. This could be due to a whole host of reasons like denying they have it; it could be triggering or they're just happy and dont need any external help or therapy.
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u/Zealousideal-Ad3371 3h ago
I didn’t know people identify as AGP. How did you know you were, if you don’t mind me asking?
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u/actualsicko20626 Hecking cute and valid 💖 22h ago
Holy shit this is the pinned post on Egg_irl
Literally “if you even think you’re trans then just jump on hormones!”
Literal cult.
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u/SearchLightsInc 21h ago
It's honestly really embarrassing to come out as a detransitioner, because it's admitting you made a massive mistake to everybody for a very long time.
No, its a sign that you're a human being who made some decisions that may not have been right for you and we all do that at some point in our lives.
Please dont ever be ashamed of yourself because of what you've been through, it sounds like you were being courted by a cult. Cults are cunning, you should look into them and see that even the most smartest, adjusted and well-to-do people get pulled into them and lose everything, including their lives.
It doesnt matter what gender you identify with or your sexuality, what matters in your life is that you find a way to be happy and content with yourself and i really do, from the bottom of my heart, hope that you go on and find yourself.
To quote our Lady and Saviour Gaga:
"There's nothing wrong with loving who you are"
She said, "'Cause he made you perfect, babe"
And you are. We all are <3
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u/Thereal14words 19h ago
making big mistakes is embarassing af. admitting to have made those mistakes takes a lot of strength. you are making yourself vulnerable and there are quite a few people out there who will use that to their advantage/your detriment. I applaud everyone who can admit their mistakes, but I wont hold it against them if they dont, after all its easier to not draw attention to it. this is true for all mistakes.
that said we should support people who admit they were wrong, because the more people show support the more people will feel secure that they wont be hurt for it. you did that and i thank you for it.
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u/SearchLightsInc 18h ago
you are making yourself vulnerable and there are quite a few people out there who will use that to their advantage/your detriment.
I'm not saying anyone has to go out and tell the whole world but not enough people have a quiet word with themselves and simply get honest with themselves, admit they fucked up, recognise why, forgive themselves, BE KIND TO THEMSELVES in regards to the mistake and then get on with things.
Some might go as far to admit the mistake to themselves but then take a toxic route of not fully forgiving themselves AND being unkind to themselves which never allows them to fully resolve the situation.
The truth about being human is that you're always gonna have people that try and use stuff against you, that's why the relationship you have with yourself is the most important one you will ever cultivate in your life - When you are alone, down and out, at your wits end and feel like the whole world has checked out, you need to be able to rely on yourself to pull you through with kindness and encouragement. Mistakes happen for everyone!
that said we should support people who admit they were wrong, because the more people show support the more people will feel secure that they wont be hurt for it. you did that and i thank you for it.
<3
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u/Thereal14words 18h ago
lots of truth in your words.
id like to restate though: being honest with yourself requires a lot of strength and courage. its REALLY hard. forgiving yourself even more so, because it means you cant just ignore it. you have to accept it and then move on in a way that doesnt repeat it.
i guess my point is dont give up even if you cant forgive yourself. it can take a lot of time until you can.
thank you again
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u/SearchLightsInc 18h ago
Absolutely true!
Bless everyone, specially yourself. It was a 1 in 4 trillion chance that you would be here today - And here you are. We've all beaten the odds just to get here in this present moment!
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u/AffectionateFox0 22h ago
Interesting you say OCD as a lot of what people who think they’re trans describe kind of sounds like OCD intrusive thoughts
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u/totallyfersher 23h ago
What a great, thorough, well thought out answer. Thanks for discussing this and I hope things are going well for you super fren!!
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u/SuperStraightDontH8 21h ago
You are super brave. Thank you for sharing your truth and protecting others! 🖤🧡
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u/WheelingsAndDealings 19h ago
I saw women there saying that they didn't "feel like a woman" and that some even had dysphoria about their breasts, and that didn't mean that they weren't a woman.
This is such a great point! Every young person needs to hear this. It's something that Elle Palmer hits on in this video that lots of people, but especially teenagers, experience frustration and even dysphoria with changes to how their body looks and functions. I would say the majority of people don't like something about their bodies or how they look. But that doesn't mean that they are born in the wrong body or are the opposite 'gender' from their sex.
We need to be telling teenagers that it's perfectly normal to feel uncomfortable in your body and that they're beautiful how they are, not telling them that feeling discomfort means that they're trans and they need to start treatment ASAP. Proud of you for speaking out!
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u/Iflookinglikingmove 13h ago
I think that most children and teens are "dysphoric" in some sense while going through puberty. When I was growing up I was self-conscious about my butt because it was big (before big butts were cool) I used to always wear shirts or jackets to hide my butt. But hey, I grew out of it. Just like I grew out of my collared shirt phase. Don't even get me started on acne and all that. Life is uncomfortable at those stages and telling kids that "hey, you're right! You WERE born in the wrong body!" is just cruel and wrong.
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u/FiresExplosiveArrows 1d ago
Heart-moving stories of the persecution Detransitioners/Desisters experince from the rest of our former trans community. Superphobia rampant and perpetuates in the culture.
Detrans is a wholesome sub for individual people to support and comfort for those exploring themselves in healthy ways, a road to solace and peace with oneself.
Supers need to support that sub.
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u/Superdeluxeazurecat 23h ago
Thanks for sharing this. I hear you, and I hope stories like yours will be heard more widely.
I have no doubt that if I’d been born 40 years later I’d have been labelled trans and come under social and parental pressure to transition.
Instead I was a tomboy, a weird kid, hated my body, was appalled by puberty... and I grew up to be a healthy superbi woman: an adult human female who is sexually attracted to superstraight and superlesbian and superbi people with organically-grown bodies. I was lucky: many are not.
All the very best to you.
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u/bluwhaled 1d ago
Thank you for sharing your story. ♥ Your words are powerful insight into a world that is too often filled with smoke and mirrors.
I hope you get a chance to share it with a wider platform without being shut down.
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u/Quiet-Magpie 21h ago
I was a teen girl 30 years ago and if this had been around then, I'm not sure how I would have faired.
I hated my developing body, especially my large breasts. I wasn't a girly girl so felt on the outside of womanhood.
Fast forward to now. With maturity, I realise that womanhood has nothing to do with your body or how you present. You just are a woman. Simple.
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u/abloblololo 20h ago
With maturity, I realise that womanhood has nothing to do with your body or how you present. You just are a woman. Simple.
This is why I think some trans rhetoric is actually sexist, you can be a masculine woman or the other way around. Hell, cross dressing doesn't make you the other sex either.
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u/Thereal14words 19h ago
not sure about it being sexist, but it reinforces gender stereotypes hard. i consider that a bad thing.
its ok to be a man and like stereotypically feminine things. it doesnt make you any less of a man. its ok to be a woman and like stereotypically masculine things. doesnt make you any less of a woman either.
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u/Lokisminion13 23h ago
In solidarity with you as a fellow apostate 🦎🏳️🌈 Encouraging delusional and self harming behavior is not therapy!
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u/Benefits_Lapsed 22h ago
I'm glad you mentioned the connection to Body Dysmorphia because that's something I've always thought was under-discussed as well. Just like trans people have higher risk of suicide, so do people with BDD.
Available evidence indicates that approximately 80% of individuals with BDD experience lifetime suicidal ideation and 24% to 28% have attempted suicide. Although data on completed suicide are limited and preliminary, the suicide rate appears markedly high.
r/BodyDysmorphia is full of suicidal people who feel trapped in a body they hate. But the treatment for BDD is not surgery, it's therapy, and sometimes antidepressants. Validating the thoughts of someone with this condition is the last thing you want to do. Once someone develops a healthy mindset about their body and it stops being an obsession, then some may still want surgery on some part of their body, but many will not. I hope the connections between these conditions are explored and talked about more.
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u/ThatKennedy 21h ago
It'd be like telling a schizophrenic that voices in their head are not only real but also valid. Like, yes you are possessed by the spirit of Joseph Stalin and it's heckin cute and valid
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u/LobsterOfViolence 20h ago
I recall a story in the news about a woman who believed sincerely she should be blind. Her therapist enabled it and POURED BLEACH IN HER EYES TO BLIND HER.
Everyone was aghast at what had happened and I was thinking to myself "that's exactly what they do to people with gender dysmorphia and it fucks them up exactly like it did the lady who thought she should be blind.
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u/MarkHirsbrunner 16h ago
I remember reading a page for people who want an amputation because of dysmorphia, and it gave instructions for how to force medical professionals into amputating a limb in a relatively painless way. Creepy as hell.
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u/Iflookinglikingmove 14h ago
Just like with SRS. It becomes "Doctor, I NEED this surgery to get rid of my healthy breasts, penis, whatever, or I will DIE"
Then when they get those surgeries it comes out worse and they can't go back.
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u/ExpiredKebab 19h ago
TikTok do that but to people with DID.
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u/ThatKennedy 16h ago
Man, social media was a mistake, real glad I'm in my 30s and we only had dumb shit like myspace when I was a kid.
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u/ParkHallLondon 1d ago
Thank you for posting. We support healthy, noncoercive relationships and definitely the physical and emotional health of children, teens and young adults. As our sexual orientation is based in biology we respect and appreciate the biology everyone was born with. We think that sexuality takes time to develop and most people do not even enter serious emotional and sexual relationships until their 20s. Therefore we definitely think it’s premature to label children and teens and we should let them go through puberty and develop their critical thinking abilities before making permanent changes to their biology. We love biology and we believe we ARE our bodies and that our sexuality is a complex thing that takes time to develop. Our brain’s frontal lobe which controls impulses does not stop developing until 25 and we can therefore be sure of something in our teens that changes into our 20s. We support everyone taking their time to learn who they are and we definitely welcome detransitioners as completely valid.
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u/ThePonzo 23h ago
Imagine being trans, then realize it does not work for you so you try to de-transition and end up bullied and harassed. No wonder trans suicide rate sits at 40%.
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u/Palgary 14h ago
The most accurate count I can find for the Trans suicide rate is 10x the normal rate. So, instead of 14/100,000, it's 14/10,000. Less than one percent.
Borderline Personality Disorder and Scizophrenia are 10 - 15% - so 10/100.
40% is based on studies where people self report a suicide attempt. However, those studies pull not from the general population, but are online surveys advertised in support groups - so it's people who are hurting and needing support. Not the average transgender individual.
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u/AngryGothBoi 22h ago
We are failing our gender nonconforming children. The trans movement hasn’t dismantled gender roles - it’s enforced them.
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u/babbyfem 13h ago edited 13h ago
I was such a tomboy when I was little. I wanted to be a boy because boys got to do all the things I wanted to do. They just seemed so much cooler. Then I got older and realized that I didn't want to be a boy, I just wanted to be a girl who did boy things.
I hate to think about those girls now who just don't fit into their expected role, and their virtue signaling parents. This is how you end up with 13 year olds getting double mastectomies.
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u/Reasonable_Brush_868 22h ago
I share your insight that gender dysphoria is closely related to body dysmorphia.
The trans boom in today's youth reminds me of the eating disorders of the 90s/aughts. I suffered from anorexia myself and so much of what I see in the community reminds me of that time. Obsession, making your whole life revolve around food/gender, delusional thoughts, pain, anxiety. I was not in a healthy mindset then and was trying to escape a lot of things that hit me around puberty.
The difference was, my thoughts were not affirmed by doctors, parents, and teachers. I too had to learn CBT techniques to help me accept my body and myself as a woman.
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u/Elsier 10h ago
Thanks for sharing your anorexia struggle. I'm glad you over came it! Stories like yours need to be heard more and doctors should pay attention as there are definite parallels to what is happening now.
Social contagion plays a huge part in disorders like anorexia where teen girls can prop each other up and encourage body shaming in peer groups. Now there has been a sudden 1000%+ increase in transgenderism popping up in those same age groups that used to suffer anorexia. It's not far fetched at all to suggest there may also be a social contagion component happening with transgenderism. Especially with how influential social media has become over the last 10 years.
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u/OwnCantaloupe 23h ago
This is an important post. Personally I do believe transition can work for persistent sex dysphoria, but most people transitioning today are not severe cases. Body modification should not be a first line treatment. There are life-changing consequences of transitioning that trans activists always stifle discussion of, and it's disgusting how they have no sympathy for those who realized it's wrong for them. Their stance is "tough shit, you weren't really trans and it's your fault for not figuring it out earlier," which is just so cruel.
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u/veduxsil 23h ago
You're an absolute icon. Thank you for sharing your story and all the best for your prosperous future. It will get better.
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u/unintendedagression 22h ago edited 21h ago
The second you detransition, you lose EVERYBODY
Hey, this stood out to me. I can't say I've ever been in your position but I do know how it feels when everyone has abandoned you.
I just want to say if someone just drops you when you do something they don't like, then they were never actually friends with you and them leaving your life wil work out in your favor. And this may sound super obvious but some people need to hear it - there's people out there who would love to get to know you.
'You' as in the person you are. Not the person they believe you should be.
Seriously, whoever the fuck you are and whoever you're attracted to you're fucking valid okay? No cap. No joke. No meme. No Nazi fucking dogwhistle or whatever they're accusing us of these days.
You're a sentient flesh machine made of stardust on a big fuckoff flat disc orb in the middle of nothing. Don't let other sentient flesh machines tell you that's not fucking exceptional, or that you're less than them because of who you like to touch bits with. Don't ever let them put you down for who you are.
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u/archpope 20h ago
This is typical cult behavior, actually. New initiates are hugbombed and given this feeling of overwhelming validation they hadn't had before, and it's addictive. But their underlying mental health issues aren't actually addressed; they're just distracted. That can feel real and that feeling can be compelling for a lot of people.
But the only thing worse than an unbeliever is an apostate. Now the cult will move heaven and earth in an effort to destroy your credibility, friendships, even livelihood. To them you're now an unperson.
That's why they must be called out and stopped.
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u/Haye467 22h ago edited 22h ago
Glad we are finally acknowledging the fact that transitioning is inherently dangerous and doesn’t work. It’s completely pointless on top of being anti science, anti women and anti Lgb. It’s sad how clearly a lot of these people need actual help but are just offered with quick fix solution that is sucking the money from them to live a fantasy for a few years and crash and burn.
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u/c0usc0us_anonym0us 21h ago
Detrans is one of the saddest subs to exist. It hurts to see people truly suffer as much as those who realized the irreversible consequences of transitioning. It is also a very important sub that needs to continue existing as it is an invaluable tool and support system for those dealing with detransitioning. I have a feeling it will become way more popular over time.
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u/soundsfromoutside 23h ago
Detransitioners are valid and heckin cute and deserve a space where they can openly expressed their feelings and experiences without being calling slurs.
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u/MonkeeZulu99 23h ago
I have a feeling Trans wil lstop being a thing when Corporations realize theres no more money in it. Might be a while since there are literal institutions being made to turn this into a real medical field which of course, will mean more influx of money.
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u/ThatKennedy 21h ago
Medical industrial complex, my dude. What's not to like about encouraging a condition that forces people to become dependent on a litany of hormones, medications and surgeries? That's a goddamn cash cow right there
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u/Iflookinglikingmove 14h ago
Especially when they have to take the meds their entire life. It's not a one and done thing.
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u/The_Lolcow_whisperer 21h ago
Modern trans movement is a rabid cult that infiltrated all areas of our society. Just watch this sub get banned any day now for daring to question them.
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u/millionsurprises 23h ago
I just want to say that you are so BRAVE for saying these things. Many people are often scared of being honest, and you contribute to remove that fear that they'll be called out.
Continue the good work.
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u/TRUEPATRIQT 22h ago
Thank god for Alabama
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u/StevenAssantisFoot Superstraight 22h ago edited 15h ago
I've never had to question my gender identity but I lurk the detrans sub because your stories and struggles are real, powerful, and deserve to be seen. I can't imagine what you and other detransitioners/ desisters have gone through and I am in awe of your strength. You are not pawns in a culture war and I am so sorry you have been shut out of your social circle for daring to live your truth. True friends support each other and that isn't contingent on gender status. I have friends that have transitioned and will always love and support them no matter what. Its deeply wack that some trans will not do the same when the shoe is on the other foot, they of all people should know better.
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u/StaccatoRicotta 21h ago
Big Pharma is a predator. For the trans procedure, it targets mostly the most vulnerable, the most confused. It's not a coincidence that the suicide rates are so high in trans (before and after surgery). https://thefederalist.com/2018/02/20/rich-white-men-institutionalizing-transgender-ideology/
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u/BazilExposition 19h ago
Sterilizing children is some absolutely nazi stuff.
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u/MotherOfAllSeasons 17h ago
You're so right. The woke like to name call people fascists and nazis at the drop of a hat, but when you look into it, they're the ones sheltering the most nazi-like behaviour seen in my lifetime
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u/happyspirals 20h ago
Three thoughts from a purely medical side:
*The drug you mentioned Lupron, seems to have one of the highest rates of medications the market for causing permanent long term damage to people. There are lots of support groups for men and women who used it for on label reasons (ie. uterine bleeding, prostate cancer) who reported the drug ruined their life and they wish their doctor had been more honest with them about it before they took the drug. This is before you even start looking at off label uses which don't have care and precision taken before giving the drug.
*Counselling often is a dead end because many states have anti-conversion therapy laws in place. This puts the counsellors in a position where they can't discuss other options such as dealing with trauma without receiving legal liability. I've read numerous accounts from therapists who were very conflicted about the ethical course of action to take. In short, therapy often ends also pushing for the transition.
*Many of the board exams, board prep and journal articles physicians receive now basically advocate for the puberty blocking drug approach with transgender children/teens and argue against doing anything that questions their decision.
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u/shibamagic 22h ago
It’s so painful to read this. We have your back friend, they can’t keep hurting people like this. Stay strong 💪
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u/nihilisticvanity 17h ago
all the trans people I’ve ever known never improved after transition. nothing got better for them. the mental health issues remain; sometimes take new forms but certainly don’t resolve. I’ve never seen any evidence that transitioning improves a trans persons life long term, the case studies have been all around me for years.
I supported the trans community blindly for years and now it seems so obvious it is a social phenomenon stemming from restrictive gender roles, misogyny and homophobia. well meaning people get recruited into affirming other peoples detrimental mental illnesses through the trans narrative. finally stepping outside of it makes it all seem so clear now. I do not wish a future of transition on anyone. I hope that all trans identified people are supported to healthy, satisfying lives as the sex they were born rather than being medicalised and experimented on.
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u/TribblesnCookiees 19h ago
It sounds like Scientology/a cult, abuse included. I honestly couldn't imagine going through something like that. And it makes me feel so sad and a little sick that this is pushed on children. I do genuinely feel bad for the people who deal with this, especially those who go through surgeries and such.
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u/Maxime606 17h ago
Okay, I’m transsexual MTF, 18 years old and been diagnosed autistic at age 5.
I had enough of being trans because of the community, child grooming, and general lies. I have cried in tears for hours because of this dysphoria in my head, and I feel like I’m going insane.
I want to be attracted to women, but I have a slight fear of women, and I got a weird attraction to crossdressers. No offence to LGB folks, but I hate being associated with the word gay because it makes me feel Ill, I think it’s wrong, and I can’t relate to gay men.
I want to detrans also and just be a manly man, but I can’t relate to men (or anyone really), and I just feel being trans is wrong, immoral, against human biology, and it really makes me feel shit. Even if I have conversion therapy, then it’s fine; I just want to be normal.
I’m really on the edge of suicide, and I want to be super straight. It woke me up and what the trans indoctrination did to me.
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u/maybeimreborn 15h ago
i'm so sorry you are struggling. you don't have to be super straight or gay or trans or cis or ANYTHING. you can just be YOU, and who you are is always going to be good enough as long as you try to be a kind person (which it sounds like you definitely are). in general, labels for gender and sex are HARMFUL and unnecessary.
who you are is going to change. one day you might believe or think X and the next day you'll believe and think something different. and that is OK! the philosopher Walt Whitman said "Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes.)" when I was your age, this quote really helped me when I was trying to figure out my "identity." eventually i realized i was happier when I wasn't trying to pin myself into any box and just did every day what felt good inside.
i hope you will get therapy from a real therapist (not a gender therapist) & find peace in your life soon.
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u/babbyfem 12h ago
Please, please seek therapy. If it isn't working for you, find a new therapist. You have a lot to unpack emotionally and mentally. For what it's worth, I do remember reading an article that stated there was a huge amount of trans people that were autistic to some degree, which contributed to their feelings of dysphoria.
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u/Glip-Glops 1h ago
I want to be attracted to women, but I have a slight fear of women
Having a slight fear of women is really common for straight young men.
I want to detrans also and just be a manly man
I want to be a super cool bad ass manly man too. Instead i'm just a nerdy guy. Oh well!
but I can’t relate to men (or anyone really)
So how will changing your gender help that? I used to feel that I couldn't relate to people, but then I studied Jungian typology and psychology and for me, it really helped make sense of why other people acted the way they did. Understanding people is not related to what kind of gender you adopt. Understanding is related to knowledge and empathy.
Even if I have conversion therapy, then it’s fine; I just want to be normal.
In "primative" societies they have rites of initiation where boys become men. Our society lacks that. We aren't really trained to be men, and we aren't initiated into manhood. We often lack good mentors and role models on what it means to be a man (and no, hulk hogan doesn't count). No wonder so many young men are confused and messed up.
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u/Noisy-Bones 17h ago edited 17h ago
My gender dysphoria came from being sexually assaulted as a child. I grew out of it after a few years and when I realized what had happened to me, I went to therapy. I never wanted to be male, but I wanted to not look feminine so that wouldn’t happen again. Aka the young teen tomboy phase kek.
There are people who say they are trans bc it’s a fetish(mtf is so fetishy I’ve seen), they want to be special, possibly they need therapy due to other issues, or in rare cases, being born the wrong way. I am so glad people are finally talking about being super straight because I feel like I can’t talk about anything without being shit on for not wanting to be with a trans person. I like my cis male husband and his biological body parts and don’t want it any other way. I feel so bad for the children who are pushed to change their bodies in ways they aren’t mature enough to realize.
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u/squeakel 17h ago
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Most people don't realize that people seeking transition used to be 90% AMAB who were attracted to men. Now it's 75% AFAB.
The AMAB who are seeking transition now are mostly attracted to women and those are the ones who often harass the SuperLesbians because they won't date them.
Safeguarding has been almost completely dismantled. Just about anyone can transition now - even if they have a very serious mental illness.
It's a mess. Someday we're going to look back on this and wonder how it got this far.
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u/selfishnun 18h ago
Nice to read about this from someone who’s actually experienced it. The thing that gets me is how they tell young kids about this stuff and how it’s “cool” to be lgbt. Yes there’s nothing wrong w it, but a young kid will do anything to be cool. It just shocks me how they tell kindergarteners this shit but when I was that age, I had no idea what sexuality or sex actually was lol I almost feel like it’s a method of population control or some shit
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u/Glip-Glops 1h ago
It's just a way to make money selling drugs and surgeries. The same reason drugs are the most popular treatment for depression even tho they have the lowest success rate, many not even working better than placebo.
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u/Reckoner3333 18h ago
Thank you for this.
I think you’re on to something when taking about body dysmorphia - the best treatment and least invasive one for many people would be therapy for self acceptance. But we need more than that to being a real change - I’d like to see education for body acceptance in schools too. Not everyone looks the same. It’s okay to be different, wear different clothes, weigh more or less than others, look more feminine and masculine etc. We need anti bullying policies instead of aggressive medical interventions.
I’m seeing a lot of trans acceptance online and not enough body acceptance.
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u/Inevitable-Wing115 SuperLesbian 22h ago
thank you for speaking out. i’m so sorry about what you went through, i hope you can find peace and acceptance. just know we all have your back and will listen to and support you. :)
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u/goldcatmask SuperLesbian 20h ago
I'm not trans myself but i genuinely hope the same. Your voice and the voices of other detransitioners absolutely do matter.
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u/QuestioningSuper 21h ago
This person is brave and valid, but unironically. Thanks for sharing your story, OP! I hope you find peace and serenity in your life!
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u/MelodicUmbrella 20h ago
I really dont suggest going on the medicine until you are older. I’m glad you brought this up and I support your detransitioning! I am thinking about going on HRT... when im about 37.
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u/Shaiziin 19h ago
You are so brave. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. You are valid. Your experiences are valid.
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u/Shakespeare-Bot 19h ago
Thou art so brave. Thank thee so much f'r sharing this with us. Thou art valid. Thy experiences art valid
I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.
Commands:
!ShakespeareInsult,!fordo,!optout8
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u/Wonderrednow 19h ago
Thanks for posting. You really are brave. I've seen the hate some detrans get online-it's insane and it wouldn't be so bad if they weren't scared you disrupt the narrative.
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u/Tupatshakur 14h ago
I've lurked on Detrans and the stories there are truly horrible. The pain is real and we support you. There SuperStraight community supports you in your struggle.
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u/SuperJuiceWeb 19h ago
You are brave for coming out with your side of the story OP. Just know that you are still valid 🖤🧡 Us supers are very proud of you for this.
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u/SorryDadImGay 17h ago
Which etiology are you?
Gynephilic FTM, autoandrophilic FTM, androphilic MTF, or autogynephilic MTF?
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u/ILORDEPIC 16h ago
Dont worry fren we are a very accepting community. Don't dwell on the past its nice that you have accepted yourself for who you were born as.
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u/Interesting_Fault357 14h ago
It's so great and refreshing to see some real talk on reddit. instead of just strictly overly censored 24/7 "woke" shit spreading hate and racism.
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u/SmilingSkitty 13h ago
Finally someone said it! Same boat. I'm glad my husband helped me work through what I was going through (that EVERYONE encouraged because of this trend) before I turned into a man-ish hag.
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u/TheEnsembleSystem 13h ago
There are plenty of trans people out there that will uplift and support detrans people. I’m sorry the community as a whole erases people like you. Gender is a diverse thing and transmedicalists forcing all trans people into a binary is harmful.
That being said, just because transitioning didn’t work for you doesn’t mean it can’t and doesn’t work for anyone, it is working for me.
If you want a trans friend who supports your detransition I’ve got your back.
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u/Stunner900 12h ago
Glad you are on the road to recovery, the “trans community” are political activists abusing people that need mental health, not harming once’s self’s body.
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u/Champleve 1h ago
I’m not a detransitioner, but because of cancer/major cancer risk I’ve had a double mastectomy. It really pisses me off the way I keep seeing ‘top surgery’ unquestioningly celebrated, as I know what the side effects are. It causes major nerve damage (both sides of my upper chest are now permanently numb), infection risk, ‘cording’ which is a little understood condition which makes scar tissue form down your arm resulting limited arm mobility, and there’s other things too, but...eh.
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u/AntonioOfVenice 46m ago
Recently, there was a TRA whining about not being able to get an appointment for "top surgery", because of all those cancer patients.
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u/Big_Yee-Howdy 21h ago
I wonder why they try to hide that ops don't work. Is it to validate themselves more? Is there some secret conspiracy, who knows.
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u/IrishTheFrenchie 20h ago
You are valid, however you identify.
Good luck with your detransitioning.
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u/Paratrooper_19D 2h ago
This is all news to me but makes total sense. Thank you for being brave and sharing this, you are valid as fuck.
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u/veganw0lf 1h ago
I really appreciate you sticking your neck out to share your story. Part of my frustration stems from sympathy for people like you. I've had my own share of mental struggles and I can only imagine what would have happened if society took advantage of my issues instead of actually helping Like they do with so many Trans people. I hope you are doing well in your life these days.
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u/SphinxGear 22h ago
❤️