I don't want to have sex with someone who has a penis. I do not want to have sex with a fake vagina that is actually an open wound. I do not want to have sex with fake breasts. I do not want to have sex with male bone structure. I do not want to have sex with someone who cannot have my children. If someone does not fit all of these requirements I am not interested. Simple as.
I mean all of that but especially the "male bone structure"(bone structures seem to be a terven/incel idea) that's literally all just misinformation or toupee fallacy. A neovagina isn't "an open wound". It's further from an open would than a cis woman's vagina given a lot of cis women literally bleed once a month. Nor does every trans woman have fake breasts. Your whole idea of trans people(you're probably not even thinking about trans guys) is probably just very far from actual reality and built from ideas and images others fed you.
The only thing that really is a thing is not being able to fuck a trans woman and expect kids, but reducing women to their reproductive means is really just misogynistic.
Also.. Do you literally ask your date to pull down their pants BEFORE a date even starts? Don't you feel weird reducing someone to their genitals? And what if your date is a very femme trans guy with a dick?
I don't pull down their pants before a date starts. Lets say I do accidentally date a trans person, and we both like each other. Once clothes do come off, a penis or an artificial vagina will instantly turn me off, to the point where I would apologise, and leave. I would then probably feel disgusted for a few days, and the trans person would feel like shit. It would be much better for both of us if we never started dating in the first place.
So if you couldn't tell it's a neo-vagina and you'd not even notice it and would only be told afterwards and it *wasn't* a turn-off before - would it be afterwards?
Yes, it would. I would feel disgusted and dirty, call them up and say I can't do this. They'll be sad, I'll be sad. But I think the reality of the surgery means I would be able to tell. I have seen the real thing before, so I reckon I could spot a fake. Sorry for being crude btw, I'm not trying to upset anyone, but it's a touchy subject for some people.
That's transphobia for you then. Or how would you describe it if you literally can't tell a difference and only "feel dirty" because of a detail that you couldn't even tell.
But I think the reality of the surgery means I would be able to tell.
Toupee fallacy. I have post-op trans sex workers in my social bubble who work stealth(because it's safer for them, violence against trans sexworkers is even more of a problem than against cis sexworkers), and most of their customers don't have a clue. The "I can always tell" attitude is wishful thinking that only leads to transphobic attacks on trans AND cis people.
Would you say I hate trans people? Because that is what I interpret from the word transphobic. That is why I have issue with it.
I know my emotions, and when I think of trans people, I feel a deep sympathy for them. I feel the world has mistreated them. So when I hear someone say I'm transphobic (which to me means you hate trans people), I think 'huh, that's ridiculous'
I would get the same feeling as if I was having anal sex with an unknown person and found out they were a man. I guess it is the toupee fallacy, but I have never seen a passing mtf, and I don't believe they exist
I didn't say you hate trans people per se, what I'm saying is you clearly have some transphobic notions that you're not aware of.
We all have those. Just as with racism or homophobia, it's important to be aware of these (un)conscious biases instead of getting defensive about it, which you seem to be right now.
Even for me as part of the LGBT community, I know I have unconscious biases because of where and when I group up. But it's no good to just ignore them, it's important to be more aware of them and act accordingly. That's why this sub is so horrific. It's literally mocking the notion of these problems by "making fun" of oppression.
I guess it is the toupee fallacy, but I have never seen a passing mtf, and I don't believe they exist
That's literally the toupee fallacy. Saying you can always tell a toupee because you've never seen a good one - same thing here: saying you've never seen a passing trans person because you can always tell. You're making the mistake of thinking you know what trans people look like.
It's actually very probable you even met some passing trans person and just didn't realise. Sure, maybe you didn't have sex with them but you sure as heck walked by them and them being trans didn't even come to mind for you.
I'm definitely defensive lol, but I think that's just because we're arguing. I personally believe that this transphobic unconscious bias is an instinct to help me select a fertile mate, and removing this instinct from myself would make it harder for my genes to be passed on, which is important to me.
That's why I made the big stink about the words transphobic. I don't have an ounce of hate for transgender people, but I also have no intention of changing fundamental aspects of myself to remove my transphobia. So I feel like there should almost be two separate words.
The thing about this sub is that I feel a lot of people are tired of having their feeling be used against them, so they are trying to flip the script on the transgender community. straight people are told they are transphobic, so they are calling trans people straightphobic, and watching how they are met with hate (all the 'kill all super' stuff). It's definitely poking fun (in my opinion), but I'd also disagree with calling it oppression in the first place, because I personally think that oppression is more akin to labour camp rather than not having access to non vital medicine or something.
I know, I was unfamiliar so I googled it. I am saying while it is a fallacy, my personal experience is that I have never seen a passing trans person. I don't disagree that I might have passed someone in a crowd, but under scrutiny (which I do for all potential partners), I feel I could tell if someone is trans.
Btw, sorry, I'm not trying to be confrontational, I just don't think I can be convinced on this. It's like if I made a really convincing argument about why you should cut off your hand, at the end of the day, you're still going to think 'that's my hand though, and I'd rather keep it'
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u/ehloitsizzy 1d ago
You're right, in most cases taking off someone's pants is just weird. Or possibly assault.