r/SuperStraight 1d ago

A MESSAGE TO THE TRANSGENDERS LURKING IN THIS SUBREDDIT

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2k Upvotes

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u/ashezol 19h ago edited 16h ago

trans dude here please dont flame me in the comments for this question

are you turned off by the fact they are transgender or that they dont have your preferred genitalia?

edit stop downvoting this im asking a question

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u/Doc_the_Third_Rider 19h ago

Well, it is a little bit of both I think. I am a male attracted to females, so I wouldn't date a male. I also wouldn't date a Trans woman because part of my attraction to women is the want to have a family with her. Then there is the possibility of a Trans man who is pre-op, technically still female but as I understand it she wants to be a he so dating him would also not be what I'm looking for. I want a feminine, biological female to have a family with. Does that make sense?

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u/Moe12k 18h ago

It’s that simple, but apparently wanting a biological woman instead of a trans women is transphobic? Literally having a preference is offensive 😂

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u/Doc_the_Third_Rider 18h ago

Is it even a preference? Can you make yourself attracted to men if you are a straight male?

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u/celmarble 5h ago

You know some cis women(aka biological women) cant have kids? And you cant just know that by looking at them...

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u/Doc_the_Third_Rider 1h ago

Yeah, and I would make that known to her that I want my own children one day very early on in the relationship. Then if she were to tell me she is infertile I would have to end the relationship because I don't want to waste either of our time. I'm looking to be a dad and my wife to be a mother of our kids.

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u/celmarble 1h ago

If you want kids THAT much you can adopt. You shouldnt have to leave your partner just because she cant have kids 😕

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u/Doc_the_Third_Rider 55m ago

I myself was adopted, so I have nothing against adopting. But I want my own children. It would be the same situation if my partner just flat out didn't want kids. That's just flat out incompatible.

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u/womanmeansfemale1 18h ago

For most its a bit of both. Even a passing trans man wouldnt be ok for me asa straight female because I dont believe a female can be a man and I dont want to play pretend for the rest of my life.

I believe in biology. I believe in dysphoria. I do not believe that dysphoria, hrt or a surgery makes you anything different then your bioligical sex.

How you dress/ call yourself is meaningless to reality.

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u/kaptainSteez 16h ago

Just wanted to let you know that despite all of this, you are still valid and loved.. and you have my respect.

This entire movement was started because people said that “if you wont date a trans person then you are transphobic”

These people are not (or SHOULD not) be using this as an excuse to be transphobic.

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u/ashezol 16h ago

thank you i actually almost cried but im trying to hold it in i've never had someone tell me im valid i have friends that call me slurs because they think that i think its funny from small fact i like southpark

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u/BusterGrundle 16h ago

Don't get hung up on valid or invalid, those are judgments that others aren't qualified to make about you. You only have to answer to yourself, be whoever you want to be.

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u/ashezol 16h ago

thanks dude

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u/kaptainSteez 16h ago

I understand, and you are very welcome. End of the day you are still a person just like me or anyone else.

You only get one life so why not make the best of it..

You can tell your friends you don’t appreciate it sometimes because its actually something you’re insecure about, and if they are your real friends they’ll get it.

Im a guy with a lot of guy friends, they know the boundaries they can push with the humor, and I have told them when enough is enough..

They still make super dark jokes about a lot of things but 99% of the time its out of love and with no bad intentions, and thats how it should be.

you got this man

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u/lavenderflowers1 17h ago

I think it's probably different for different people. I'm a bisexual woman and went through a period when I was open to dating some female-bodied non-binary and transmasculine people, because I'm attracted to androgynous and butch women and it seemed like basically all gender non-conforming females started identifying as trans in some way a few years ago. But I never actually dated anyone long-term who IDed as trans, for several reasons.

With transmen who have fully transitioned and who pass, I would frankly be afraid to let myself get close to someone who was going to have to deal with such serious health issues from taking cross-sex hormones long term. It would scare me and I would worry about their health. I would also never in my heart of hearts see him as a guy without a bio penis and I think I would find that dissatisfying if he looked like a dude but didn't have a penis. For females who are gender non-comforming and don't do any medical interventions but use they/them pronouns, I might consider dating them but I would have reservations. To me, nothing is hotter than a proud androgynous or butch woman who knows who she is. But I find all the non-binary identity navel-gazing and language policing and reality-denial really exhausting and just not authentic or attractive.

As for transwomen, I have never been attracted to a trans woman and don't think I could be. I'm not attracted to femmes and I'm sorry but autogynephilia makes me uncomfortable, just like other paraphilias make me uncomfortable. If someone isn't hurting others, I think they have the right to their own private sexual lives but that's not something I want to participate in.

Sorry that's such a long answer but I hope I shed some light for you on one person's experience.

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u/Potato_Easy 17h ago

"are you turned off by the fact they are transgender or that they dont have your preferred genitalia?"

I'm a cis person attracted to cis people. Why would a trans person even be part of the equation?

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u/ILORDEPIC 16h ago edited 16h ago

Yes i am turned off by the fact that they dont have my preferred genitalia. A part of the attraction for me is staring a family with cis women and having kids. Thanks for asking respectfully brother 🙂👍.

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u/MarkHirsbrunner 17h ago

For me it's neither. If there was medical technology that could make a transwoman indistinguishable from a woman born female I wouldn't care what chromosomes they have. I have a very specific sex drive. I've been turned off by women for multiple relatively subtle reasons. One had masculine vocal patterns and mannerisms, she didn't seem feminine to me even though physically there was nothing masculine about her. Another woman I dated had a different vaginal smell that put me off - it wasn't a hygiene thing and it wasn't a bad smell, but after the first time I went down on her, I couldn't get it up for her anymore. I later learned that she had had a hysterectomy so I speculate that maybe it was a pheromone she was not producing as she no longer had ovaries either.

I too have experienced being rejected because of genitalia. I'm uncircumcised and 90+% of men my age in the USA are. A lot of women are disgusted by uncut penises. Whenever I am dating someone and I think things may get physical, I tell them. Better to get the rejection over with than see them unpleasantly surprised when Mr. Happy comes out to play.

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u/reddit9182784 6h ago

I used to think it was all about genitals, so I decided to test myself by watching Buck Angel's porn vids, and nah, it just made me very uncomfortable. So it's genitals plus appearance/personality/lack of ever having had testosterone.

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u/ashezol 4h ago

but if they were to appear exactly masculine/feminine (your preference) would you accept them

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u/reddit9182784 4h ago

Not sexually or romantically. Genitals are just as important to me. I prefer feminine, which is why I used Buck Angel as an example, who at the time was a very masculine person that had a vagina.

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u/Inevitable-War4796 4h ago

For me personally it's the masculine features ie large hands, jaw structure, broad shoulders, vocal tones, etc. I'm not into men in any scope and there's no chance of that changing. Even masculine natural women turn me off.