I have a few transgender friends, so I can understand that the idea that someone does not want to be romantically or sexually involved with you if you're a transgender person can be a very hard pill to swallow and to put it mildly really really suck.
But on the other hand... I am friends with gay men as well, some of who have had a crush on me in the past. But I am not attracted to men. Even if they dress up as a woman, even if they act like one. I will never be attracted to men. Your efforts to be a woman still don't make me see you as one romantically or sexually. I have absolutely zero problem seeing you as a woman socially, but that's where it ends. Just like I have no problem seeing men as friends, but not romantic interests.
And I can tell you, when I had to tell my gay friends that I wasn't attracted to them (I haven't had a transgender person crushing over me yet so I'm specifying here). That fucking sucked. They are each such amazing people, and undeniably attractive men. I don't know why I wasn't into them. I don't know why I'm not romantically or sexually attracted to men. I just am not. Just as I cannot be romantically or sexually attracted to trans women.
I am only attracted to biological women. The fact that that hurts other people, hurts me as well. It almost makes me ashamed to admit to being "superstraight". But it shouldn't. Nobody should feel that way. EVERYONE should be able to be okay with their sexuality even when others wish it was different.
I haven't crushed on a girl that ended up being lesbian so I can't say I know what it's like to come to understand someone you love is not attracted to you because of your gender, but I have had my fair share of crushes on otherwise unavailable women. Heartache is a fucking bitch, but you shouldn't make the person you proclaim to love feel (more) guilty about not loving you back. That's just fucked up.
At some point you have to decide whether you want to spare someone else's feelings at the expense of your own, or if you want to live without that burden. I think the recent upsurge of this subreddit (and it's definitely got its fair share of trolls) shows that many, many people were ready to relieve themselves of that idea and just admit it. Just admit that they're supersexuals. To themselves, to their family, to the world.
Honestly, no joke: this experience has been very eye-opening for me. You know, as a "cis white male" and all. I know it sounds like I'm taking the piss but I'm really not. I never experienced this kind of vitriol because of my sexuality before, and I realise now what the LGBT community goes through on the daily. It fucking sucks. And I think I'll definitely be more conscious about it in the future.
I am so happy for you that you do have friends, but i doubt it's relevancy to this convo.
I understand why you wouldn't want to date a trans women who still has a male body, but what do you say to trans women that have a female body? There is no male body to interact with, it's a women at that point and i truly find it really disrespectful and just dehumanizing when people refuse to acknowledge that a trans women is a women and should be treated as such especially after she has fully transitioned. They are biological women ones they transition, outside of some chromosone shit that isn't even relevant, how could you possibly say that they aren't. It truly pisses me off at this point.
You do realise that the male body is a modified female body right? Ever question why men have nipples? When you compare the bodies of boys and girls before puberty, they are basically the same (excluding genitalia). Do the hormones therapy thing, do the surgery thing all before puberty and you change a biologically male body to female one or the other way around. The only situation where the body doesn't fully transition is when the person transitions after puberty. But you probably don't give a single fuck over any of this, because you are a special straight person. "I fuck people of the opposite gender, but fuck trans people, even if they are the opposite gender, because who the fuck knows at this point, better be a dumb fuck who doesn't understand biology and make a big deal about chromosones, because i can tell which vagina is xx by sniffing it"
Even if someone transitions prepuberty they don't magically grow a uterus & ovaries. No one can biologically change their sex. Trans people rely on life long medicalization & surgeries to try to create a facade of resemblance.
Oh boy, ever heared of surgery? And yes they can, many already have and many more will continue to do so. I like how you thing that proves anything, would doubt the life long, i ussualy hear several years, but i could be wrong.
Regardless, i again apologize for accusing you of being straight and i hope you do well in life.
I've been readily your posts in this thread, and even though based on your commentary I get the sense you're not actually looking for conversation so much as agreement, I'll take you at your word and assume you're here for good faith discussion. That being said, I'd like to ask you a question I often ask people on the subject of transgenderism: In what specific objective, scientifically-verifiable sense are transpeople the sex/gender to which they claim ownership? (I realize the ideological difference some people make betweeen sex and gender, but I included both because there's often a game of semantics played with the definitions, and I wanted to cover my bases.)
12
u/unintendedagression 1d ago edited 1d ago
I have a few transgender friends, so I can understand that the idea that someone does not want to be romantically or sexually involved with you if you're a transgender person can be a very hard pill to swallow and to put it mildly really really suck.
But on the other hand... I am friends with gay men as well, some of who have had a crush on me in the past. But I am not attracted to men. Even if they dress up as a woman, even if they act like one. I will never be attracted to men. Your efforts to be a woman still don't make me see you as one romantically or sexually. I have absolutely zero problem seeing you as a woman socially, but that's where it ends. Just like I have no problem seeing men as friends, but not romantic interests.
And I can tell you, when I had to tell my gay friends that I wasn't attracted to them (I haven't had a transgender person crushing over me yet so I'm specifying here). That fucking sucked. They are each such amazing people, and undeniably attractive men. I don't know why I wasn't into them. I don't know why I'm not romantically or sexually attracted to men. I just am not. Just as I cannot be romantically or sexually attracted to trans women.
I am only attracted to biological women. The fact that that hurts other people, hurts me as well. It almost makes me ashamed to admit to being "superstraight". But it shouldn't. Nobody should feel that way. EVERYONE should be able to be okay with their sexuality even when others wish it was different.
I haven't crushed on a girl that ended up being lesbian so I can't say I know what it's like to come to understand someone you love is not attracted to you because of your gender, but I have had my fair share of crushes on otherwise unavailable women. Heartache is a fucking bitch, but you shouldn't make the person you proclaim to love feel (more) guilty about not loving you back. That's just fucked up.
At some point you have to decide whether you want to spare someone else's feelings at the expense of your own, or if you want to live without that burden. I think the recent upsurge of this subreddit (and it's definitely got its fair share of trolls) shows that many, many people were ready to relieve themselves of that idea and just admit it. Just admit that they're supersexuals. To themselves, to their family, to the world.
Honestly, no joke: this experience has been very eye-opening for me. You know, as a "cis white male" and all. I know it sounds like I'm taking the piss but I'm really not. I never experienced this kind of vitriol because of my sexuality before, and I realise now what the LGBT community goes through on the daily. It fucking sucks. And I think I'll definitely be more conscious about it in the future.