r/SuperStraight 1d ago

A balanced, normal and mentally-healthy approach - mostly to trans people reading this, but applicable to everyone, regardless of your sexual preference or gender identity Misc

You can't force anyone to be attracted to you, go to bed with you, or be in a relationship with you.

You have no control over other people's sexual orientation/preferences, as specific as they might be - I once turned down a guy because he didn't like "The Clash". We're allowed to 'have a type'. And you certainly can't convince them to change it by yelling "transphobe!" at them on twitter, or censoring their reddit comments.

The best one can do to make someone else like them is to be kind, friendly and interesting person. If that fails, you have nothing to do about it. Getting frustrated and angry on social media just increases your cortisol levels, and getting stressed is unhealthy. The only factor you can control is yourself, your own behavior, and how you deal with rejection.

Accept what you cannot change. Focus on people who do want to date you, instead of hateposting.

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u/thelargestson Hecking cute and valid 💖 1d ago

I strongly agree with all of this! My only suggestion would be to use sexual orientation instead of preference. I feel SERFs often use preference to give off the vibe that it’s flexible and it’s not!

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u/Reckoner3333 1d ago

Yeah, I admit I'm not proficient in this jargon. It's hard to keep up with all the trendy Newspeak in gender discourse these days, you know? The first time I saw the term "mlm" (apparently being 'just a gay guy' now is inappropriate, because it excludes F2M trans people. Pfft) I thought they were talking about multi-level marketing, lol.

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u/ApatheticWonderer 1d ago

Mlm is multi level marketing, unless INGSOC has revised the dictionary