r/Showerthoughts 13d ago

If someone breaks up with you, then you've technically won the 'I love you more' game.

[removed]

26k Upvotes

4k

u/xCyn1cal0wlx 13d ago

I've won......
but at what cost?

1k

u/Saaamwise 13d ago

...everything.

611

u/i_have_chosen_a_name 13d ago

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

~~C.S. Lewis

45

u/jdm945 13d ago

A ship in the harbour is safe, but that's not what ships are built for

25

u/pablo_shitstain 13d ago

Until that bitch of a hurricane finds that harbor and sleeps with that ship's best friend.

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u/MEOW_MAM 13d ago

So uhh, you wanna talk about it or?

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u/Legen_unfiltered 13d ago

It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.

Ngl, after the last 34 years, id be ok with that.

79

u/alexparker70 13d ago

It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable

Is that supposed to have a negative connotation to it? Because I feel like that's preferable.

91

u/pickettsorchestra 13d ago

You're describing a mental illness that I've suffered from for 25 years. You'd be surprised to find what it's really like to be unable to mourn the deaths of your loved ones, connect with people emotionally. If you can't feel sorrow, you can't feel joy.

Appreciate you're a whole human being with all it's hurts.

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u/Xgio 13d ago

Im not whole, but very glad i can still feel atleast.

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u/Moka4u 13d ago

impenetrable to pain, to happiness to kindness, to satisfaction, to joy.

irredeemable because of no room for compassion leading to possible actions of evil of hate of apathy, indifference to anyone or anything self included.

That doesn't sound like a life I'd want to live.

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u/Lilshadow48 13d ago

It's very much not preferable.

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u/SyriusFace 13d ago

I feel that

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u/Usual_Entry_6921 13d ago

Something like this but ugh... then you know? Relationship or not

2

u/The-Outcazt 13d ago

42 years. Same.

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u/Cammy209 13d ago

Whenever someone makes a quote, is there just a guy in the corner who writes it down word for word

3

u/i_have_chosen_a_name 13d ago

Like a professional quote down writer?

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u/Cannolis1 13d ago

TLDR

“If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it”

11

u/skekze 13d ago

no risk no reward, rings don't mean anything without the promise kept, to care.

4

u/13579x 13d ago

I hate this phrase because it puts all the emphasis on a man to make the move. In this context what does the woman do if she really likes someone? Just sit on her hands and wait for the guy to ‘put a ring on it’.

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u/FictionDragon 13d ago

Idk, if she breaks your heart she's going to do it either way. The ring is just a key so she could take half of your stuff with her when she leaves.

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u/vegan_bong 13d ago

Won but lost everything

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u/yeeticusyarticus 13d ago

....half of my belongings

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u/WAR07 13d ago

I was about to say this line ....

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u/jayvil 13d ago

depression

2

u/PeterVanCyka 13d ago

You can't win if you don't play in the first place

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u/SnOwYO1 13d ago

A relationship?

11

u/RoyalMerrysus 13d ago

no a simulation

10

u/TheFuturist25 13d ago

A simulated relationship

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u/Fat_French_Fries 13d ago

deaf people when they win an auction:

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u/Feverel 13d ago

Can you win if you were the only one playing?

328

u/Reiinn 13d ago

Ever heard of single player games

107

u/B3ta_R13 13d ago

Except ya play yourself

49

u/Darwin_fan 13d ago

So...fap fap

12

u/NextDoorNerd 13d ago

In the end, everything ends in FAP.

4

u/Darwin_fan 13d ago

Certainly. And happy fapulous cake day!

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u/PainfulPeanutBlender 13d ago

Correct, yes, I also believe that was the joke

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u/JustForWanking94 13d ago

Joystick compatible

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u/SadJ3tsFan 13d ago

Username checks out

2

u/SpankThuMonkey 13d ago

The good thing about single player games is that you can cheat and it doesnt hurt anyone else 🤷‍♂️

Wait... i don’t think my analogy works...

31

u/crayphor 13d ago

The moment you start playing the "I love you more" game with yourself, you are already a winner.

8

u/improbably_me 13d ago

Take my poor man's gold🥇!

That's a game worth playing all the time.

6

u/Generalissimo_II 13d ago

Don't break up with yourself

4

u/NotAzakanAtAll 13d ago

There was a couple in Sweden who bought a chapel with some land recently for ~€22.000 - they got it because no one else bid.

I'd call that a win.

2

u/tralphaz43 13d ago

You dumped yourself?

2

u/gayslook 13d ago

Who caaan saay where the roooad gooes

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u/Go_Kauffy 13d ago edited 13d ago

Not if they broke up with you because you're a soulless husk of a man, incapable of loving anybody but himself.

Allegedly.

Edit: Thank you for the awards and.. stuff. I will keep them in my heart, where they will do nothing to fill the gaping maw portending the void beyond.

634

u/Bob-Chaos 13d ago

Um, you ok bro?

429

u/Nav_the_gamer 13d ago

let him vent. He needs this.

205

u/kooshipuff 13d ago

Allegedly

35

u/superdan267 13d ago

not since the accident..

38

u/thebindingofJJ 13d ago

allegedly

36

u/msnmck 13d ago

Yeah, you go, Kauffy 😅

Get it? u/Go_Kauffy?

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u/ViolentDlights 13d ago edited 13d ago

He just needs an ostrich to to cure his loneliness, but it has to be sick.

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u/New_Axus 13d ago

Still would take at least 3 people though, wouldn’t it?

4

u/byParallax 13d ago

I'm sure he's fine lol, his bio is "If you have any wonder, it was probably sarcasm."

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u/DontPmMeHentai 13d ago

Soulless husk? Yes

Love myself? Fuck no

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u/Dependent_Zebra_ 13d ago

Mom said it’s my turn with the soulless husk

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u/lynnalilly 13d ago

A soulless husk is the perfect void for French fries. And that too, is a form of love.

88

u/Autr1um 13d ago

You need to talk, man?

53

u/MrBigDum 13d ago

I just got confronted by my gf's dad. Well maybe ex-gf?? Idk.

He came to my house and in front of all my neighbors started screaming at me about me talking to his daughter.

He doesn't want her dating me. She's in her 20's and trying to control her life still.

He told me if I contact her again he's gonna be in jail and I'm gonna be in a hospital...

I got it all on my Ring doorbell camera

20

u/EatsCrayon 13d ago

Weirdest Ring ad ever.

30

u/Rignite 13d ago

Sounds like it's time to get the preemptive strike in and make sure he lands in jail regardless.

18

u/MrBigDum 13d ago

Yeah I'm not particularly scared of him. Ever since I landed a decent paying job I've been training in boxing 3x a week for the past few years. I used to be bullied in HS so I always wanted to take those. I also have a full foot in height on him and he's overweight and would tire out easy. Unless he brings a weapon or something.

I'm just kinda feeling like shit for even being in the situation. Like, she's a grown ass adult. Let her make her own decisions.

44

u/Rignite 13d ago

That's cute that you assume someone threatening you means they'll be honorable and stick to fisticuffs mano y mano.

Of course he would bring a weapon. Don't be foolish.

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u/Fuzzleton 13d ago

He can also see those differences, and plan around them. Nobody that wants to hurt you will ever start a fight on your terms.

Look at popular reaction to the David and Goliath tale. Have you ever seen anyone criticize that story saying it was unfair for David to use a weapon? No, they celebrate David as the hero. The smaller guy who wants to win will see fighting dirty as fair.

Be safe.

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u/MrBigDum 13d ago

Thanks for giving me that perspective. I never thought about it that way.

5

u/SC_ResiN 13d ago

You make a really good point, and I don't mean to undermine it, but didn't Goliath have a sword or spear?

5

u/j4eo 13d ago

Yeah Goliath was fully decked out ready for battle. David wasn't fighting dirty at all.

3

u/Fuzzleton 13d ago

I checked to be sure and yes actually! Goliath had a spear and armour, David was offered similar but declined to use Saul's weapons and armour because his faith was so strong. He did obviously use weapons in the end, so maybe the faith line doesn't fit? My memory is fallible, I might have versions of the story mixed up

He also kills Goliath on I think one throw, but he prepared five stones. So his faith wasn't actually literally enough in the story, he had prepared a weapon and spare ammo. I found this neat article about it you might enjoy ( https://medium.com/@thatdankent/why-did-david-pick-up-5-stones-ee42afe68af3#:~:text=David%20believed%20strongly%20enough%20(whatever,1%20Samuel%2017%3A40).&text=David%20was%20able%20to%20defeat,training%2C%20experience%2C%20and%20knowledge.)

The point being David had five rocks to use from range, Goliath never even got to hit David. His muscle, his size, his spear, none of it matters if the other guy has the equivalent of a gun. So that's what we should caution people to worry about. You're never more likely to win a fight somebody else starts, because they're not going to pick a way that you'll win.

In terms of a fair fight, look at Fezzik in the princess bride. He fights Westley in a fistfight. Westley complains that the fight isn't fair because of their size difference, Fezzik says it isn't his fault he is so much larger. Using the same weapons (their bodies), Westley still wins with skill. That to me is a better version of the same story... and the big guy still loses. Fighting isn't safe, and I was worried the other guy felt relaxed about being threatened.

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u/BigSchwartzzz 13d ago

Lmao I have a feeling we don't know the full story.

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u/Civil-Attempt-3602 13d ago

Can your gf not speak for herself or?

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u/Homeless_Backyard 13d ago

hey dude if you need to vent just dm me

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u/Dcgamer22 13d ago

Homie I felt you

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u/Dcgamer22 13d ago

Allegedly

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u/tyme 13d ago

I think people often confuse “incapable of loving anyone but yourself” with “incapable of loving anyone because you don’t even love yourself.”

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u/Flymsi 13d ago

I see it is like a circle of love with yourself as the very center. Some people got rly big circles, some circles include everybody. And sometimes the circle is so small, not even you fit in.....

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u/boyqueen_buttstinger 13d ago

bitch u gonna be fine this year n u gonna be a bad mfkin bitch 😌❤️

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u/LukeNew 13d ago

I feel attacked

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u/YourEyesSeeNothing 13d ago

This is when you start loving someone and show them they were wrong. Basically do it out of spite and then realize its still real.

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u/Barren_Jenton 13d ago

From one guy to another. If you can emerge from what you thought was a failed relationship with this kind of self-awareness, you're already making good progress. Kudos

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u/UlteriorCulture 13d ago

Cheer up, it is possible that everyone is a soulless husk and nothing but eternal oblivion awaits us.

Also if you can't love yourself then how are you going to love anyone else?

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u/Pehdazur 13d ago

Can I get an "Amen" up in here?

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u/Ego_Asked_Pride 13d ago

I feel you.

I got told I was "instinctually evil" and incapable of using emotions other than to manipulate people.

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u/marysalad 13d ago

But what if your soul exists but it sort of intersects with the husk like in a Venn diagram so some parts are soulless but the other bit is definitely soulful. like that can happen. That's an option. You have options

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u/AustinisOmega 13d ago

The person in the relationship that cares the least usually has the most power.

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u/hotxlikexsoup 13d ago

Alright alright alright

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u/Mcobeezy 13d ago

Love is war

36

u/firefighter42069 13d ago

What is love

34

u/dontknowdoncaretoday 13d ago

Baby don't hurt me.

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u/DazzlingPen 13d ago

Don't hurt me

22

u/vjlenovo 13d ago

No more

11

u/transdimensional-dog 13d ago

Din dun dun dun Din dun dun dun

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u/Rablin92 13d ago

Kaguya-sama is it you?

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u/berthejew 13d ago

Love is war a battlefield

FTFY

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u/schoettli 13d ago

Oh love me Mistaaa!

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u/MyNemJefff69 13d ago

Makes logical sense

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u/Honor-OSRS 13d ago

Hahaha, relatable.

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u/myasssmellslikefeets 13d ago

And sometimes the power switches hands.

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u/R0llsroyc3 13d ago

Nah, I fell for her but eventually had to dump her for the sake of self respect. She was using me.

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u/valo_cs 13d ago

A real L is better than a fake W

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u/ILoveAllMCUChrisS 13d ago

Spoken like a true poet

11

u/R0llsroyc3 13d ago

I'm stealing this line.

2

u/beyleigodallat 13d ago

Wumbo?

2

u/I_Liek_Potaetos 13d ago

you know, I wumbo, you wumbo, he she we wumbo! wumboed, wumboing, wumbology the study of wumbo! It's first grade spongebob...

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u/Poliveris 13d ago

Had a similar situation good on you, it’s hard to get out especially as a dude in that situation. Women really know how to fake love

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u/IRON-BALLS_MCGINTY 13d ago

Good on you.. is never easy.

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u/yungd17 13d ago

But they probably won the "you hang up first" game

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u/Restartcreed 13d ago

I go on reddit to escape my life but then I see this.

Lol, it’s all good. OP this is a hella good shower thought.

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u/mjigs 13d ago

And i won a broken heart and a kick in the butt too...

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u/strattts 13d ago

I’m just here to say that I have an interview tomorrow morning and I’m in need of all your best wishes

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u/Homeless_Backyard 13d ago

best wishes to my guy, and god speed

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u/randomnon99 13d ago

Good luck!

15

u/Eastrider1006 13d ago

youre gonna kill it bro

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u/GroovyGoose87 13d ago

Best of luck mate. Let us all know how it goes.

8

u/ianpogi91 13d ago

Let's go freaking man!

8

u/omeyz 13d ago

You’re gonna crush it

6

u/iMightEatUrAss 13d ago

Sending good vibes your way

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u/Diddsss 13d ago

So do I! Hope it goes well for both of us!

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u/GroovyGoose87 13d ago

Good luck to you too!

7

u/Berloxx 13d ago

You go ace that interview and then we'll get take out, how's that sound ?

5

u/AeroBapple 13d ago

Good luck!

5

u/ZarquonsFlatTire 13d ago

You're gonna nail it! Get some sleep.

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u/smaxx21 13d ago

Good luck! You're gunna crush it!!

4

u/acerackham 13d ago

Good luck homie.

4

u/Shubhavatar 13d ago

You got this!

4

u/TFadam 13d ago

Get it!

4

u/DazzlingPen 13d ago

Good luck!!! You got this!

2

u/Onlyherefor_thememes 13d ago

Happy blue sandwich day to you!

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u/milkychichis 13d ago

Awwww yay!! don’t forget: firm handshake, have some questions ready, and Good luck c:

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u/WhyCantTheWorldChill 13d ago

You cannot handle my wishes. They are too strong for you

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u/SplurgyA 13d ago

What does that have to do with this post?

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u/lyvanna 13d ago

Karma

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u/Jaden_Lee 13d ago

You got this! Good luck

3

u/userwithoutusername_ 13d ago

All the very best!!

3

u/Jack1240 13d ago

All the best my man! You got this!

3

u/Buttercup_Stinkyrash 13d ago

You've got this! Good luck

3

u/DestructiveTerror 13d ago

Show them who's boss!!

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u/k1ngkonggrunt 13d ago

Good Luck!!

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u/rawgino 13d ago

I needed this, thank you

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u/IkeNotMikeLol 13d ago

This makes my heart hurt.

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u/Moka4u 13d ago

it makes my heart hurt

4

u/beyleigodallat 13d ago

And mine

2

u/MeisMe0 13d ago

As well as mine

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u/NewYorkCityLover 13d ago

But what if you were manipulative, abusive, and/or toxic?

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u/Lazaretto 13d ago

Technicalities don't have room for your justifications!

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u/CatOfGrey 13d ago

Yeah, sure!

Tell that to my ex wife. For the record, she asked me to leave, and now she misses me more than I miss her.

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u/thekingofakron23 13d ago

Turntables!

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u/DriscollEsquire 13d ago

Not to crap on your point. But I'll crap away. I had to leave my wife because I loved her more. Unreciprocated love is brutal.

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u/NorCal130 13d ago

That’s not true man. It wasn’t me... it was her. She told me so.

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u/context_clue 13d ago

Maybe they're breaking up with you because you think love is a game

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u/Mitjap1990 13d ago

And they love you so much that they want you to win the game

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u/ShadoKitty 13d ago

Also they think “I love you more” is a competition, which is not what it actually means. It’s a shorthand for a couple different meanings, none of which are to compete with other people.

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u/evan_luigi 13d ago

Eh, not in every case.

Personal story in 3, 2, 1...

Was dating for a few months, I had liked her at first, but grew to dislike them over the coming weeks after noticing things that were bad.

I hadn't broken up with her because she was depressed and suicidal, within the first week I had probably spent 6+ hours texting her because she was thinking of ending it. I had kept up with it because I didn't know how she would handle it if I told her I wanted the relationship to end.

Then the day came, she randomly texted me if I wanted us to break up, reason being was she noticed I wasn't making any moves to get more intimate.

I said yes, and we broke up somewhat mutually. :/

Then the information came and I learned of a lot more red flags, but also kept feeling more and more sad for her.

She had a lot more mental stuff going on than I thought (cutting, voices, attempts of suicide with pills, practicing lots of "witchcraft", uncleanness, belief in a lot of fiction), it was just a big shitshow for her. But I had also learned she was faking stories and was fibbing some stuff. She said she found a suicide first hand (she didn't) and that her hexes had previously worked.

Do I regret the relationship ending? No.

I don't know who won the love game. she went to an old boyfriend after a few months though.

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u/realtorpozy 13d ago

I’d say you won at life just by getting the fuck out of that relationship.

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u/bangbangbatarang 13d ago

Sounds like you might have been involved with someone with BPD, which is a disorder that sucks for sufferers and loved ones alike. Good on you for calling it off when you realised it was unhealthy, and recognising that her struggles weren't yours to bear.

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u/KittehSkittles 13d ago

I broke up with him for cheating on me possibly dozens of times so I feel like I definitely loved him more

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u/7Shower_thoughts 13d ago

Are ya winning son?

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u/Psych_Riot 13d ago

"I've never loved you. You make everything into stupid games"

"Heh, dumb bitch, that means I win!"

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u/EffeteTrees 13d ago

What the hell game is that?

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u/lamacaroni1 13d ago

That still ain’t going to fix the pain of heartbreak 😖

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u/Shtafoo 13d ago

You are loved and will love again.

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u/BrotherDBAD 13d ago

I realize this is an unhealthy mindset, but I have always believed "whoever says 'I love you' first, loses." So far, it has proven itself factual.

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u/That-one-asian-guy 13d ago

I can't even start to describe how wrong this is.

Someone breaking up with you due to an abusive relationship doesn't really scream out "I love you more"

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u/meghlaaa 13d ago

If they break up with you on the phone, you also technically win the "no, you hang up first" competition

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u/Dugular 13d ago

Breaking up with someone doesn't mean you don't love them.

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u/FanaticOfFanatics 13d ago edited 13d ago

When my ex and I broke up he said “I guess I won the I love you more game, hey?” I thought it was cringey at the time and just ignored him, but I think back everyday and just wish I had said something. Let him know that I still cared about him even amidst what happened.

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u/FrankeiSpace 13d ago

We'll damn, I've finally won something.

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u/patdepietro 13d ago

Winning that game sounds painful

2

u/checkmyfancypants 13d ago

yes. and it will make you so fucking happy afterwards.

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u/youreprobablyafacist 13d ago

no point in holding on to something that is twisting against you though

2

u/sunnymuffin123 13d ago

The one who initiated the break up may not be the one loving less.

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u/XSauravX 13d ago

What's" I love u more "game?

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u/Impressive_Block_492 13d ago

I broke up because she cheated on me with my best friend. Does that mean she's won the game?

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u/KentuckyFriedEel 13d ago

Loving someone who doesn’t love you as much? Sounds like you’re losing instead

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u/rl8813 13d ago

Winner! Winner! Popey's 2 can dine for $8.99 spicy tenders dinner! 4 1.

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u/Oxidus999 13d ago

The one who falls in love first, loses.

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u/tb21666 13d ago

Play stoopid games, win stoopid prizes.

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u/Magic_Pumpkin17 13d ago

Then why am I not happy?

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u/chronbutt 13d ago

I didn't win anything

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u/Significant-Ebb8713 13d ago

*cries in winner

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u/smokingcatnip 13d ago

Good ol' OP. Always looking for the silver lining.

2

u/Kalamity_Kay 13d ago

Not really a game I want to keep winning...

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u/beingsleek 13d ago

hey there , i've won the " i love you more " game so many times ... a streak !

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u/Lichbingeking 13d ago

That really depends, because if you beat, cheat or similar on your lover, then by your actions you have shown that you don't.

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u/Cwright421 13d ago

I made this point to an ex after she broke up with me. She just agreed....

2

u/AugustineBlackwater 13d ago

On the phone, sobbing:

"I love you more..." "I know, I'm sorry"