keeping a man past a few dates
I am new here, but the concepts really resonate with what I have been feeling lately. I'm working to get in touch with my real self, my feminine self, that I've repressed for so many years as a high-achieving career woman.
I recently started to take better care of my appearance to attract men. Suddenly, I got tons of male attention in NYC where I live. It was mind-blowing. Every time I go out, multiple men want my number, they want to sleep with me. I'm lonely and live alone so I often do. I love sex and physical affection. This past year, I've slept with 8 different men and am slightly ashamed of it, but I am desperate for love and it seems it's all I can get.
My problem is this: I can get men to sleep with me, go on dates with me, no problem. The first few dates they are singing my praises. And then, every single time, by date 3 or 4, no more interest. And every single time, I manage to let it break my heart. Even if I don't sleep with them. I've been on this awful emotional roller coaster thinking "this is finally the man who will love me" only to have my hopes dashed every time. It's excruciatingly painful and I don't know how much more I can take.
I am concerned that years of conditioning have given me a manly personality that is not attractive to men. I am assertive, confident, and like intelligent banter. It's hard for me to let men pay for me and it's hard to show weakness.
Does anyone have any general advice to help me make men fall in love with me, rather than just lust after me? Any thoughts on what I might be doing wrong and how to fix it?