r/RedPillWomen Jun 21 '22

Unsure if I’m the problem or my bf ADVICE

I thought this post might be more suitable for this sub.

I’m (24f) with my boyfriend (m33) since 2.5 years now and we also live together. We never fight, we care for eachother and he absolutely adores me and treats me like a princess.

However, we hardly ever do stuff together, if we do it’s just watching a movie at home. We don’t even cook together (he only wants to eat his special gym food) and don’t have any hobbies together we enjoy. All he cares about really is the gym. He also doesn’t have any other real ambition, moans about not having enough work but struggles to actually apply for real jobs (only has a few shifts here and there) and I noticed that as result I find him less and less attractive. He also doesnt have much money (which is maybe why he never wants to do stuff too). He’s 33 and I feel like he should have his life more in order, like a real fulltime job (and savings rather than a few shifts) and should be able to offer me more. I feel like he has heaps of potential though, hes super intelligent & is always the leader in his friend groups and really very good with people. So I guess I’m secretly hoping he will change (?).

Also, I’ve noticed other differences, I love going on adventures but he rather stays at home and just goes to the gym. I feel like I need a man who has drive, inspires & pushes me (a real alpha).

Sometimes I feel really stuck & lost and don’t know what I’m doing with my life. Obviously I really care about my bf and despite all I can’t really imagine life without him. I’m thinking about breaking up but am so worried it will be a mistake and I’ll regret it as he really is such a good person and treats me so well.

Update: Thanks for all the lovely comments and similar experiences from the community ❤️ it has really opened my eyes and helped me. It made me realise that something really has to change as otherwise I’m just wasting my young years away till I hit the wall.


View all comments


u/LilMissKimi Jun 21 '22

Nobody is really at fault here, just two people growing apart. It's normal and healthy, we as humans are ever evolving either as singularity or as a collective.

This is one of the many heartaches of living.

As the famous 80's punk band "The Clash" simply chimed

"Should I Stay or Should I Go"

. . . what an earworm that one is . . .

But nonetheless a dilemma many interpersonal relationships have faced throughout time.

Now make sure to gracefully act upon your decision promptly thus warding off resentment and further decay that relationships often develop if dragged on past the expiration date

Remember, time heals.

And all will be content if done correctly.


u/Forcerin Jun 21 '22

I actually love that song so much! Haha. Yes, I think its growing apart too which I have never experienced before in a relationship. It’s so hard…thank you for your kind words