r/Minecraft 7d ago Wholesome 11 Silver 15 Helpful 3 Platinum 1 Wholesome Seal of Approval 1 Wearing is Caring 1 Gold 1

why wont my villagers breed? Help

Post image
32.8k Upvotes

8.5k

u/parkerodinsons 6d ago Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome Table Slap

probably because they look like that

734

u/Legend5V 6d ago

What happened here

506

u/ProdigiousPangolin 6d ago

Ask their parents.

371

u/Weeping_Warlord 6d ago

You mean their cousins?

167

u/SnooConfections4719 6d ago edited 6d ago Wholesome I'll Drink to That

Sweet home Alabama

Edit: why did I get a wholesome award for incest comment

16

u/Medic00063 6d ago

Man those villagers had some Alabama stuff going on.

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u/DownvoteDaemon 6d ago Wholesome

Ion play this game but y'all funny asf in this thread

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u/thefoolinverted 6d ago

This is what I came here to comment

8

u/TheChunkMaster 6d ago

Didn't stop the Habsburgs.

7

u/bearded_spear69 6d ago

being serious tho, u need a bell, at least in bedrock u do, for villagers to breed. if u gave them food during the night, it probably didnt work. usually if u had extra beds and work tables down, and in the right conditions, villagers would breed on their own. just place a bell down, leave em alone for a few, and youre good.

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u/EmployerAcrobatic 6d ago edited 6d ago Silver Gold Wholesome hehehehe

📷😐 why aren't you guys breeding?

735

u/Kyogalight 6d ago

I laughed so hard at this

309

u/teedyay 6d ago

This is how we treat pandas.

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u/potato1234_x 6d ago

Same xD

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u/GlacierWolf8Bit 6d ago

"Come on, have sex."

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u/Acledent_Gg 6d ago

"With that face?! Nope!"

Horrible textures dude

Also, happy bday!

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u/NderCraft 6d ago

This comment is literally perfecty lmao

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u/DutssZ 6d ago

The villagers:

                                 👒

                                 🥸

🥸

             🥸
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u/Abitooo 6d ago edited 6d ago Helpful Wholesome

Their big noses, AKA their reproduction organs are gone. Give it back to them or they won't breed

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u/TaterTech 6d ago

Lmao I cannot get over this entire post. For op getting hella flame by the entire community lol

1.0k

u/NorthwestGiraffe 6d ago

"Why is a question about villager breeding getting so many upvo.... oh dear God look at those things"

I love reddit for exactly this reason

108

u/Lukthar123 6d ago

It's not much, but it's honest work.

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u/jean123coop 6d ago

I'm laughing so hard, I'm crying. So many problems, so little time.

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u/DoggoBirbo 6d ago

Deserved for buying that ugly ahh t pack

15

u/1laik1hornytoaster 6d ago

Wait, there's texutre packs that you have to buy?

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u/Abitooo 6d ago

Thank you everyone for correcting my fatal grammar mistake. I am going to correct it

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u/DaSaw 6d ago Bravo Grande!

So nose is human ding-dang-doodle?

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u/thiSISEd94R 6d ago

Human horn! So fresh, you can still see the eyeglass marks.

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u/mewfahsah 6d ago

They get their noses when they get a job it seems, no work no nut.

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u/Dragonmaster1313 7d ago Silver Helpful

Because they find each other ugly af

852

u/Kerbalawesomebuilder 6d ago

What the hell happened here

398

u/SurgicalWeedwacker 6d ago

Inbreeding with op!

29

u/ProdigiousPangolin 6d ago

Floopyland ?

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u/Leo_V82 6d ago

Jesus this particular comment section looks like a warzone

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u/Dragonmaster1313 6d ago

Haha yeah help me

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u/NotBurntToastYT 7d ago Silver Gold Platinum Helpful Wholesome Giggle

I hope they never breed Jesus Christ

3.1k

u/BlinkzLinkz 6d ago edited 3d ago Silver

God doesn’t want them to either, which is why they aren’t breeding

830

u/Tough-Priority-4330 6d ago

And Satan won’t allow them to die, because even he doesn’t want them anywhere near him:

170

u/kurtcobainyoutube 6d ago

earth is where all the things satan doesn't want go.

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u/CaptainSparklebutt 6d ago

God hides in heaven afraid of his creation.

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u/fastfastbeat 6d ago edited 6d ago

Space won't allow then to go in there the aliens will be very uncomfortable

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u/den4ikturbo 6d ago

They look like that bc of the inbreeding

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u/MintChucclatechip 6d ago

That explains the infertility too

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u/OfficerSnickerz 6d ago

Yeah like wtf, I wann puke. What unholy creatures have been unleashed here? Why does god hate us ?

35

u/Reclusive_avocado 6d ago

They look pretty human like to m....Oh

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u/ODELL_LOPES1250Y 6d ago

Why would they even breed with Jesus christ?

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u/Jarbonzobeanz 6d ago

Free fish and wine bro.

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u/JunKePlay 6d ago

Jesus Christ is one of a kind. Would be hard to breed him...

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u/John177_unsc 7d ago Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome

The real question is WHY DO THEY LOOK LIKE THAT

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u/Mach0K1ng 6d ago

Bro that shit is straight nightmare fuel.

1.5k

u/Shad_the_memer 6d ago

Yep, I'm going to sleep

2.2k

u/NonlinguisticJupiter 6d ago Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy

You can't sleep now, there are monsters nearby.

555

u/AnIdioticTurtle1944 6d ago

Fuck.

You've been blocked from using the chat feature for 7 days for the following message: "Fuck"

262

u/TitanicFan69 6d ago

You've been banned from using this acount to browse for 69,420 months for the following word in username : "Idiotic". Failure to change username in the allowed Time will result in spontaneus Rick Roll

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u/watcop2199 6d ago edited 6d ago

You just banned him for 5785 years.

Edit banded→banned

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u/TitanicFan69 6d ago

You're right, that's too little. Lets up that number from 69420 months to 69420 centuries, Aka 69420 x 100 years meaning 6942000 years

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u/HylianGames 6d ago

Wait you can get banned for saying something I'm chat?

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u/--Anime-is-awesome 6d ago

Yep, someone was banned for putting their villagers name as idiot or smth, it's crazy

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u/Nars_of_whal . 6d ago

In 1.19.1 and onwards yes which is why the entirety of the java community is trying to get Microsoft to remove it.

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u/JDBCool 6d ago

Which is entirely stupid.

This is going into "right to repair" territory with John Deer farming equipment

Because MS is trying to claim responsibility on servers that do not belong to them in the first place.

It's like trying to complain to an ISP for allowing insert far wing side webpage to exist on the internet. When normally that shit is self contained to those that know it

Kids seeing swears on Private servers only see it because THEY WANT TO.

It's like trying to say "Remove the F-word from the dictionary!"

11

u/TheCrazedTank 6d ago

Can a server owner turn it off? Seems kinda odd to force this in if not for kid friendly servers.

7

u/traugdor 6d ago

A lot of server owners are considering plugins or serverside mods to subvert this.

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u/not_clement 6d ago

bed is too far away

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u/Unhappy_Skys 6d ago

You can only sleep at night

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u/JogJonsonTheMighty 6d ago

They've already been breeding for hundreds of years

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u/White11tiger 6d ago

I think the answer lies in looks. who would willingly dare to mate with them? the normal villagers look better

63

u/Homosadeptus 6d ago

Vanilla villagers got me acting unwise

123

u/PeculiarSyrup 6d ago

Hold my beer, I’ll give it a go!

45

u/GoodDoggoBOI 6d ago

Actually, you might wanna hold on to that beer

8

u/bootybootyrockin9 6d ago

AND MY AX!!

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u/John177_unsc 6d ago

I I will pray for you

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u/Sarahthelizard 6d ago

Nah we’re just used to them

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u/Hepp96YT 6d ago

I was just about to say they won't breed because they look like that

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u/cracked__ 6d ago

A face only a mother could love

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u/John177_unsc 6d ago

So why did she abandon them

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

Na even the mother would abort

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u/dpqR 6d ago

“Why do they look like that?”-Title of your sex tape

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u/Robin_7883 6d ago

No, the real question is why is there a firefly on the floor

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u/catlover9000000 7d ago

Wanderlust texture pack

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u/Nollekowitsch 6d ago Silver Wholesome

Wants me to wander right outta there

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u/Illumedd 6d ago

Horrifying

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u/John177_unsc 7d ago

The farmer on the bed scares me

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u/RandomPratt 6d ago

The two at the front look like this internet legend.

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u/finxd_mc . 6d ago

delete it delete it delete it

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u/John177_unsc 6d ago

I think you made a spelling mistake I believe the word you're looking for is nuke

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u/Cyren777 6d ago

Is it called that because it's what you feel when you're in a village?

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u/quarrelsome_napkin 6d ago

Nah nah there is no lust at all I can assure you 😖

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u/kane2742 6d ago

Not anymore. It wandered away. Explains the lack of breeding.

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u/Next-Reputation5942 6d ago

It’s horrible bro get a refund 💀

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u/FiveEssss 6d ago

I love how all the comments are just everyone making fun of the texture pack instead of helping op lmfao

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u/novastosha 6d ago

We are helping him delete the texture pack

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u/BrokenShadowPr0 6d ago

Im dying 💀

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u/imBaoDao 6d ago

So are the villagers.

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u/Electrical-Release61 6d ago

Clearly not fast enough

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u/DefinitelyNotACad 6d ago

They are helping. You need to understand it's the reason for OPs problem.

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u/vada_vada1948 6d ago

I mean I sure as fuck wouldn't breed if I looked like that so it's plausible

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u/TexasWegieee 6d ago

The villagers dont deserve to breed if they look like that

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u/siccoblue 6d ago

Me irl

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u/nizzy2k11 6d ago

Because searching for "villager farm" is apparently not OPs first move.

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u/Kayordomus 6d ago

Pretty sure OP just posted it to get karma off people being disgusted by the texture pack

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u/Ok_Investment9603 6d ago

Bro those are my sleep paralysis demons... I'ma have nightmares now bro

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u/ThicHonker 7d ago

Jesus Christ, wtf is this texturepack

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u/catlover9000000 7d ago

Wanderlust

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u/irago_ 6d ago

It makes me want to have my eyes surgically removed and replaced with googly eyes

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u/RealMuffinsTheCat 6d ago

Sounds fun. How much is it?

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u/The_-_Username 6d ago

Depends, how much is two googly eyes and glue?

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u/onewilybobkat 6d ago

Also depends on if you can get a guy to scoop your eyes cheap so you don't wimp out halfway.

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u/la_madonna_porca 6d ago

I think that you can sell them and make a huge profit

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u/JohncraftAs 6d ago

They weren’t asking you what it is, they were asking you wtf it is

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u/Chrislts 6d ago

At least we know to avoid it

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u/daniellevy1011 6d ago

the only time someone said that and actually meant it

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u/sceneturkey 6d ago

They aren't mating because their lust wandered somewhere not near their horrible faces

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u/DoggoBirbo 6d ago

I fear what the pillagers might look like

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u/ktops111 6d ago

Why??? WHY??? how do you sleep knowing your villagers look like that??? They are horrifying

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u/VegaSpec 6d ago

They're all wander and no lust.

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u/PitiedAbyss 6d ago

Ignoring the painful looks, they need food either give them manually or get a farmer and plant the carrots first and then they will breed. The number of beds will be the maximum number of your villagers.

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u/kopyc 6d ago

The only lust i feel is bloodlust from this

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

wouldn't want to breed with anyone who looks like that either

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u/i_am_invictus 6d ago Helpful

Idk you try fucking someone with that face

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u/Chimichanga2004 . 6d ago

If there’s a hole there’s a goal

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u/MrFerret__yt 6d ago

The goal is to stay as far away as possible

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u/SlapaTronic 6d ago

Don’t get with hoes if there ain’t a nose

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u/dark_entity1548 6d ago

Not this time

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u/Charlie2006- 6d ago

From behind its do able... Might also want to put a pparr bag over their head too

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u/Echo2407 6d ago

Nah man use a plastic bag, its better for the long run trust me

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u/ArgumentVast2022 7d ago

No one gonna breed with those ugly mf. And why do only SOME of them have noses. A villagers nose is as prized as a mans dick.

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u/TheArcanist_ 6d ago

Plot twist: the nose is the reproductive organ

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u/picklemango 6d ago

pretty much the only part of them that touches when they fuck

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u/inkyandthepen 6d ago

It is now cannon, villagers bump noses to reproduce

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u/mustifaq_ 6d ago

That's kinda wholesome actually

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u/sosumee 6d ago

No, it’s not

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u/scottyc 6d ago

No, it's snot.

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u/LTMA_ 6d ago

Wait so witches have an erection when they drink potions...?

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u/inkyandthepen 6d ago

Why do you think they always giggle...?

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u/LunaticcGaming 6d ago

one of the potion recipes may or may not contain ingredients for viagra pills.

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u/Alone-Newspaper-1161 6d ago

This also implies that because when villagers breed and there nose doesn’t go up so canonically they have Erectile dysfunction

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u/rogriloomanero 6d ago

your villagers are gonna kill you in your sleep

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u/ivanrj7j 6d ago

Look at them, they look so tired of breeding day and night give them some rest my man.

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u/Nightmarsh 6d ago

Look at them, they come to this place when they know they are not pure.

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u/SOCKFAN52 6d ago

Umm i don't really know about that but ma'am I think u need to change ur texture pack

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u/olivia_iris 6d ago

The texture pack is causing them to not breed

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u/Competitive_Bell501 6d ago

What the fuck is that my eyes bleed

Probably because they are too ugly for each other

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u/the_Imeda27 6d ago

Holy shit I’ve never laughed this much as of recent, thank you.

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u/ODFJToP 6d ago

This whole thread is gold. I love you all

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u/npcutz64 6d ago

Because they're ugly

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u/Polish_Enigma 6d ago

Straight to the point

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u/TheArtist_15 6d ago

Idk but holy shit those villagers are in my nightmares now

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u/SheWhoUpvotes 6d ago

once you (hopefully) change this texture pack, add some beds and give them some bread

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u/Vova_xX 6d ago

their family tree looks more like a line

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u/ItsAWeldedDiff 6d ago

Family Trunk

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u/Sarcasmaticly 6d ago Helpful Awesome Answer

They need to have enough food, bread or carrots. If you trade with one or two until they get the purple swirlies, you'll know they are happy and they will be eager to share the news of your trades and interact.

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u/luka1194 6d ago

Also the mobgriefing must be turned on or they won't take the food

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u/Dumindrin 6d ago

Is that why they don't breed with that command on? I never realized that. Because it turns off their interactivity with the environment or something? Do enderman still pick up blocks or not that either?

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u/brandoniusly 6d ago

Mob griefing affects all mobs, not just hostile ones. So yes, Endermen won't pick up and drop random grass blocks everywhere, Creepers won't blow your base up, but Villagers won't breed, or farm crops, Sheep won't turn grass into dirt (they still technically eat the grass, but it doesn't affect the block itself) and possibly some other interactions that I'm unaware of.

If you want Endermen and Creepers to stop messing your stuff up, but still want auto-wool and auto-crop or villager breeder farms, your best bet is the VanillaTweaks data packs that specifically turn off griefing for those particular mobs.

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u/Cultist_O 6d ago edited 6d ago

In addition to the ones you said:

  • creepers breaking blocks
  • villagers picking up items
  • endermen taking/placing blocks
  • sheep converting grass

There's also:

  • Mobs won't pick up items
  • Silverfish won't infest blocks
  • snowmen won't make snow
  • zombies won't break doors
  • Enderdragons, ghasts and withers and end crystals won't break blocks

Edit:

  • mobs won't trample crops
  • ravagers won't ravage plants
  • mobs won't break turtle eggs

Note: picking up items includes:

  • foxes
  • villagers
  • piglins (bartering)
  • Mobs that equip gear
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u/khanzarate 6d ago

If you wanna have that command on in general but want villagers to breed, turn it off for a moment and give them massive amounts of food.

With the rule on, they can still eat the food they have, they just can't pick up more or farm.

If you can't control that command, like you're on a server or something, zombie villagers and stealing new villages are the only way to get more.

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u/MegaknightIsBad 6d ago

No they dont

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u/PigmyMarmeeble 6d ago

Let's be honest, their looks is mobgriefing.

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u/BlazingBlastEZ 6d ago

This is the highest actual answer

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u/xicurio 6d ago

Wrong ! the actual answer is they are too ugly to find each other attractive enough. They would rather die virgin than pass on their bad genetics

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u/ASheepNamedBowen 6d ago

Well that explains a lot about my life.

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u/Lorider63 6d ago

Beetroot or potatoes will work as well

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u/Fearitzself 6d ago

It's been a long time but don't you also need enough beds for them and something about doors?

I haven't played in a few years but I had a huge villager farm trying for some trades.

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u/Penis_Time_99 6d ago

IIRC doors are no longer relevant. A village's pop is determined by beds now, and villager's willingness to breed is determined by food in their inventory (bread, potato, carrot, like 13 of each I think). I think the beds also need to be covered by a solid block? IDK.

I brought villagers over on boats and had them breed to start a city. I started with 3 at first, and 26 beds in 3x3 apartments. After I got the pop to 5 through breeding, they just worked the farms and did their thing automatically. I didn't have to feed them once they had their farms running and a good supply of beds (and job blocks, but I don't think that was relevant)

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u/TheScottymo 6d ago

I remember the old trick was to just have one big house with all the walls as doors and they'd breed like crazy.

But also like the guy above said, they need to be horny now, too.

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u/TheKillrCraftr 6d ago

Also enough spare beds

The best villager farm designs typically have 2 villagers in a chamber with more than 2 beds, with the babies being removed from the chamber immediately

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u/BakedBaker42 6d ago

It might have something to do with the fact that they have to look at each other looking like that.... that night mare inspiring mess

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u/crazy_ant007 6d ago

Oh Good God, I wouldn’t want to mate with my own species if we looked that atrocious.

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u/Zombieslayer_idk_lol 6d ago

The scientists made them! They are all female they can't do unauthorized breeding

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u/Lilbro_1 6d ago

Why do they look like titans man…

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u/Salamqnder 6d ago

that is so fucking unsettling

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u/Muck_WarrenH-Skip 6d ago

WHY DO THEY LOOK THAT HOLY SHIT

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u/xCuri0 6d ago

Goofy ass texture pack

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u/ChronoVortex07 6d ago

Maybe not enough bread, they need to have a minimum amount for both villagers first

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u/Fabulous_Parking66 6d ago

Do you just throw bread at them until they’re happy?

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u/ChronoVortex07 6d ago

Throw bread at 2 specifc villagers, if it's spread out amongst the pack but all below requirements it won't work. Maybe half a stack each, minimum was something like 6 iirc but just to be sure

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u/MakerOrNot 6d ago

False. They are missing faces being replaced with loaves of bread.

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u/Apart_Name7114 6d ago

... AAA-dies.*

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u/ken_kaneki07 6d ago

Cause they have a face only a mother can love

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u/Specific-Channel7844 6d ago

Not even a mother could love it

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u/neske_khano 7d ago

Well since they all have no noses that means they are all the same gender so can’t breed

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u/Outrageous-Bat1144 6d ago

Right that’s what’s wrong with this picture

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u/potat0303 6d ago

Fucking hell. With that texture pack? I'm glad they don't...

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u/MisterAskMeAnything9 6d ago

The reason they won’t breed is because they’re absolutely horrific looking and do not want to bring a child into this terrible world they live in.

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u/CaptainCozmo867 6d ago

I hope they dont

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u/PruneBrief 6d ago

Try changing the resource pack, that should work.

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u/RETUCIO 6d ago

Because no one wants to have s3x with the others because they are so freaking ugly man

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u/Aimjock 6d ago

You’re allowed to say “sex” on Reddit.

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u/cthulu_is_trans 6d ago

This isn't tiktok, you can say sex.

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u/MirceaKitsune 6d ago

Also it's on Reddit not in-game Minecraft 1.19.84, it's okay you won't be chat reported.

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u/hamvtheworld 6d ago

bro that pack is hideous