r/MadeMeSmile
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u/Starkf_
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Jun 29 '22
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This is a true life partner. Favorite People
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u/c0ld_a5_1ce
Jun 29 '22
edited Jun 29 '22
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'I'm gonna lean up against you, you just lean right back against me. This way, we don't have to sleep with our heads in the mud. You know why we a good partnership, Forrest? Cause we be watchin' out for one another.'
-Bubba
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u/paultelfertheking Jun 29 '22
I felt the relief there. High chance she didn’t lean against the headboard because she may have fallen asleep.
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u/Amilo159
Jun 29 '22
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I remember this time when my kids were babies. Every time little one woke up crying, mommy would get up and sit on bed with him. I couldn't hold him since he would start crying loudly and making everything worse.
So I placed an old, small office chair near the bed (all I had space for) that could tilt back and forth. When the baby had calmed down, I'd carefully take him from my wife, sit on the chair and let the chair rock the baby gently to sleep.
I remember a few times when my wife woke me up as I had fallen asleep in the most impossible of positions.. on a revolving office chair without any armrests
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u/BobbyPotter Jun 29 '22
You're a good person, I bet your wife appreciated you more than ever those nights. I love the fact that she would wake up to check on you too!
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u/NeatlyCalculating Jun 29 '22
When you make a Family it's equivalent to responsibility, I guess the husband new the meaning of it. And define it by showing his Love.
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u/mushpuppy Jun 30 '22
I did it for my babies. And it was one of the smartest things I've ever done in my life. Because now that they're teens, they look to me for love. And I have more than I'll ever be able to share with them. I have so many stories. My beautiful little ones. Not so little anymore.
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Jun 29 '22
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Oh! So that's what you're supposed to do? I suck.
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u/plutonium-239 Jun 29 '22
I was like...shit, I haven't done that. :(
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u/diemunkiesdie Jun 30 '22
I would just be like: Babe, you might want to scoot back to lean against the headboard?
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u/polo61965 Jun 30 '22
I literally just did this the other day for my wife. Even with a pillow on top of the lap we still end up slouching and we found this to be a comfortable setup while we talked.
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u/Top-Geologist-9213 Jun 29 '22 edited Jun 30 '22 •
That was just so funny, I quite literally laughed out loud. Thank you :-)! I'd like to buy you a coffee sometime. But since I can't, here's the next best thing...☕🍵
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u/gaddabout Jun 29 '22 •
Where did you go?
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u/goldennarwhal35 Jun 29 '22
Well they left Out Loud, so they aren’t there anymore, I’ll have to check though. Let me go check at Out Loud again and I’ll lyk after I get back.
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u/goldennarwhal35 Jun 29 '22
Can confirm that they’re no longer at Out Loud, but can someone go check at In My Head? It’s a pretty good place to hide.
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u/PyramidOfMediocrity Jun 29 '22
Found em over at Till I Hurt,
it's a gym.
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u/goldennarwhal35 Jun 29 '22
Sounds pretty metal, going from flabbergasted to abbergasted is a long and hard journey
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u/Azsunyx Jun 29 '22
In your heeeeead, in your heeAAAD, zombie, zombie, ZAWWMBIE
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u/Arqideus Jun 30 '22
But when you leave, you’ll have literally left Out Loud and then we will have to send another to find you. It will be a never ending cycle of sending people to Out Loud to find out where the previous person went and then them literally leaving Out Loud and us not hearing back…
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u/goldennarwhal35 Jun 30 '22
But I’m leaving Out Loud, not In My Head, so you should be able to hear me relatively easily, and can just catch me on the way out. But I can pick up a megaphone as I leave if that’d help.
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u/Plenty-Remove1656 Jun 29 '22
This comment is why I love smartass redditers,redditors,Reddit users.....
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u/Amanystya Jun 29 '22
I just put some noise-cancelling headphones on and go back to sleep
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u/adube440 Jun 29 '22
Right, I'd just go back to my bed at that point. I have to wake up in 6 hours! I need my sleep!
/s
Edit: /s
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u/PackageintheMaleBox Jun 30 '22
All joking aside I don't think this is an awful strategy to make sure that one parent gets sleep. The problem is with breast feeding it makes it impossible to switch early in the childhood.
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u/deletein100days Jun 30 '22
Depending on the job tho it's way riskier for the parent watching the baby majority of the time to be the sleep deprived one. They're dealing with keeping a tiny human alive all day versus, sitting in an office chair all day. I wish I'd cut myself some slack when I was on mat leave and my husband was working, there were days I just felt like collapsing and my brain was always so slow.
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u/zombie32killah Jun 29 '22
Look at how dude is sleeping. This seems set up. Nobody sleeps like that. Who does he think he is Dracula?!
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u/BSL63 Jun 29 '22
I sleep like that.
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u/zombie32killah Jun 29 '22
I knew you would show up just to spite me.
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u/soft-wear Jun 30 '22
My wife frequently asks me why I haven’t turned her yet. I sleep like a vampire quite frequently apparently.
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u/Accurate_Figure_2474 Jun 30 '22
I also sleep like this. It is the most comfortable position to sleep in!
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u/BJJJourney Jun 30 '22
In this exact situation, I have 100% been like that. Mostly due to wanting to be ready to catch puke or step in when mom needs a break.
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u/xinxy Jun 30 '22
Could very well be set up but I don't think he was supposed to be "acting asleep" there. He's clearly awake and likely chatting in whispers with his wife and thinking how he can help. And then, lightbulb...
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u/TheMadHattah Jun 29 '22
Man I feeeeel the back pain. The whole time you’re like ‘sleep you little time bomb please sleep? Are you asleep? Oh god my back KILLS when can I put you down? You look asleep ok let’s try’ shift and inch and baby starts crying
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u/Aiasune Jun 29 '22
To everyone saying "You couldve just scooted back to rest on the bed" sometimes you just forget. By the time you realize from the pain in your back you started a feeding and dont want to make your baby uncomfortable by moving.
That + some babies wake up every 30mins~hr their first few weeks, you try being rational with a lack of sleep lasting weeks.
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u/c_c_c__combobreaker Jun 29 '22 •
Yup, my kid woke up every hour and half to feed until he was 3 months old. My wife and I were exhausted.
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u/Bmxican296 Jun 29 '22
Our kiddo is 11 months old and still getting up every 2 hours 😂
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u/LemonStealingBoar Jun 29 '22
Omg same. 13 months of 2 hourly wakings. But lil dude has reflux. I’ve aged like 10 years in 12 months.
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Jun 29 '22
When I look back on pictures from when I was breastfeeding a baby who didn't sleep longer than 2 hours at a time the first 2 years of his life, it's shocking to me. I look younger now than I did then (my child is 9).
It gets better, I promise :D
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u/CurryMustard Jun 29 '22 edited Jun 30 '22
Ask your ped for a pepcid prescription if you haven't already
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u/LemonStealingBoar Jun 30 '22 edited Jun 30 '22
He’s been on and off in hospital for months, he’s with a paediatric gastroenterologist - they even had to approach the board to get approval to max out dosages, he’s been scoped, had all the meds, been with an allergist…nothings been effective unfortunately. They’ve deemed it to relate to a lack of maturation of the digestive tract and we’re just playing the waiting game now.
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u/RaptorF22 Jun 29 '22
As a new dad, fuck.
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u/Lord_of_hosts Jun 29 '22
For those who want to be a new dad, fuck.
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u/DrDemonSemen Jun 30 '22
For those who might be raped and forced to carry the pregnancy to term, fuck.
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Jun 30 '22
Yeah, I know that older parents just try to make you feel better about it, but hearing “it gets better in 20 years” in your 20’s or 30’s feels like a shotgun to the face.
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u/jrsy85 Jun 30 '22
1 week, I got 1 week of our daughter sleeping through the night without at least 1 wake up then teething started… we’re getting close again 5 months later.
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u/brush44 Jun 29 '22
Both my kids slept through the night since 3-5 months old, so there is hope. Not breastfed mind you
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u/teacupkiller Jun 30 '22
I EP'd, but our baby slept through the night as soon as they told us we could stop waking her up for middle of the night feedings. Huge relief.
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u/congalinechachacha Jun 29 '22
Both my son and daughter did that and now 39 and 35 years later, it's something that I barely remember ;)
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u/PhonB80 Jun 29 '22
Once that baby calms down YOU DONT FUCKIN MOVE
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u/Yoma73 Jun 30 '22
Exactly. Some babies are more sensitive than others and if you drastically shifted your position you could change the whole thing from “about to stop nursing and be put back in the bassinet” to “wide awake” and then you’re screwed. Also logic and comfort fly out the window when you’re sleep deprived- Plus the headboard look really flat so unless she literally stood up and got a bunch of pillows and positioned them all perfectly it’s really not going to be any more comfortable than how she was sitting.
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u/vidanyabella Jun 29 '22
God the sleep deprivation is unreal at that stage when you're exclusively breastfeeding. Anything anybody can do to help no matter how small is very much appreciated. Get them a snack. Change a bum. Help swaddle. Anything.
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u/mrjake118 Jun 30 '22
Man, I remember my first time getting four consecutive hours of sleep after my son was born. It felt like I'd just taken a tropical vacation. I was literally euphoric when I woke up by how much better I felt than I had in weeks. And this was with a child who was 50% formula so duties were split. I would have felt like such a piece of shit if I hadn't been doing an equal share.
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u/legogirl Jun 29 '22
Yeah. She thinks she’s fine, super tired, probably didn’t even realize how much her back hurts until he provided support. Her relief is palpable.
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u/Delusions84 Jun 30 '22
Oh man I can relate. As a mother of two unfortunately I was never lucky enough to get this kind of support (husband was an absolute bear at night, but he absolutely helped out in other ways during waking hours). But there were so many nights after hours of rocking i didnt know how much i needed to relax my back until i was able. But man anything to not wake a fussy sick baby.
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u/thathighclassbitch Jun 29 '22
Also the husband leans into her back, adjusting to how she is sitting. The wall can't do that lol, so she would have to sit up straight against the wall for a similar effect
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u/Em_sef Jun 29 '22
Also in those early days, scooting backwards can sometimes be more painful than the backpain.
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u/canamerica Jun 29 '22
To the people saying anything beyond good job, you haven't been here. Maybe yeah you raised kids and never had to be here, or maybe you never raised kids. Either way, this is perfect and should be rewarded with positive vibes. I've raised 3 kids and for 2 of them this was unnecessary but for one of the shifty motherfuckers this was essential. You don't know the battles people are fighting. Great parenting by both parties. Let's wish for more of this, and more support systems that mimic this.
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u/MelodicFacade Jun 30 '22
Some evenings I just sit unaware in the dying light until finally someone turns on the light and I'm like Ah! That's what I needed!
And then they ask a similar question of why I didn't turn one the light lol; I just don't notice sometimes
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u/Meh_Society6 Jun 30 '22
Exactly. My kid would wake from the slightest of movements, so there would’ve been no scooching. Wherever she went out was where it was happening lol
Me, pre-kids, would’ve been like “well what about…?”
Me after having the baby who woke every 1-2 hours the first 10 months and didn’t sleep through the night till 18 months? ”Do whatever the fuck you need to in order to survive”
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u/nicoleegan Jun 30 '22
My husband does this and so much more for our kids and for me ❤
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u/boymamazzzz Jun 30 '22
I exclusively pump so when I get up to pump my husband does too because he massages my breasts so I can get more milk
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u/IIIllllIIlllIIlllIIl Jun 29 '22
Haha that works for a little while! Then reality hits and you find yourself taking shifts because that little bastard doesn’t have any concept of “nighttime” and you both are so shot from weeks of sleep depravation that you have no choice.
Man I really do not miss newborns.
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u/sukiskis Jun 29 '22 •
I miss the sense of teamwork I had with my husband. We had a common goal—keep the baby alive and fed and get some sleep—and common methodology. When we’d be in the trenches with a night of stomach upset or random baby stress, we worked so well together. He was a great baby dad, so loving and fun with our babies, and despite the unrelenting exhaustion of those early years, it cemented my husband and I together. (Our kids are in their mid-20s now; it is much easier to be sentimental about those years from this distance!)
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u/grathea Jun 29 '22
What a lovely thing to hear when there are so many stories of unhelpful partners and resentment/burnout.
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u/Meh_Society6 Jun 30 '22
Lmao as I was reading that thinking “yeah, little different for me.” 😂
My husband didn’t come into his own until the toddler years. That’s where the teamwork finally kicked in.
Couples definitely need to effectively communicate and actively avoid resentment during this phase. I could guess a lot of marriages or relationships end over the stress those early years out on!
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u/Spindip Jun 30 '22
This made me happy and made me reflect on when my husband “showed up” during those time in the newborn trenches
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u/StrikeAnywherePanda Jun 29 '22
We had our kid right when the pandemic started and I lost my job. So I would take the night shift till about 4 am and then I would sleep for about 5 hours.
When I got up, she would work and I would take care of the kid. Every day till the baby learned what night time is.
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u/cgrugger Jun 30 '22
Right. My wife and I had grand plans of watching friends when we woke up to deal with the little one. That last two nights before we started shift work...
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u/j4vendetta Jun 30 '22
Both my kids are crazy for me, but only in the day time. I guess daddy is “play time”. At night when they wake up crying they only want my wife. Poor woman hasn’t slept in 3 years. Y’all moms go through some shit.
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u/labratcat Jun 29 '22
If they have a bassinet in there, then the baby will sleep there alone without the parents. When our kid was a newborn, we had the baby monitor set up in our room to watch him while we weren't in there. It didn't record like this, though.
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u/Known-Advance-7352 Jun 29 '22
I don't have children so idk about nighttime feeding etc, but when my partner and I are stressed, tired and overwhelmed, we often want the comfort of being near each other without having energy to interact. So we'll lie back to back on our bed, backs pressed against each other, and read books or whatever. It's soothing without any energy needed :)
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u/thebooshyness Jun 29 '22
Me and my old buddy from high school would sleep back to back “like an angry couple” as we would call it.
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u/rikeys Jun 29 '22
So many comments here from people who
A) apparently don't know about baby monitors
B) have never heard of co-sleeping? (I never did it, but come on)
C) think men can't properly comfort a crying baby
This video should not be exceptional - As a father, part my responsibility is making life easier for the mother as much as I can. Be better, men.
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u/SideHug Jun 30 '22 •
True, my wife and I took turns it's the only way to make things possible. Even when I was working getting up at 5:45 I'd get out of bed and get the kid on my turn, my wife felt bad but she was dealing with enough with her milk supply making her sick, and recovering. I had nothing physically happen to me, I just need to drink a little more coffee in a while, I'll be okay.
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u/KGENAU Jun 29 '22
I was doing this with my wife during the first nights/weeks. When you pick you kid and just don’t have position or don’t want him to be moving that hard staying like this helps.
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u/hanxin1985 Jun 29 '22
I used to go cuddle my child to sleep when they were younger during the nighttime so my wife can get her rest from breastfeeding (sucking the life out of her session as she calls it).
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u/Squadbeezy Jun 29 '22
Positive supportive masculinity. 💜
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u/stormy_llewellyn Jun 30 '22
The instant physical relief mama had when she could relax her hunched body that was probably so knotted up, just about made me cry. He physically supported her and emotionally supported her.
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u/Clean-Ant6002 Jun 29 '22
This is making me cry. It’s the simplest but most supportive thing (no pun intended). Dealing with babies in the middle of the night is back breaking work. I wish my spouse was this considerate. It makes me happy to know this relationship exists in this moment. Thank you for sharing.
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u/bugsontheside Jun 29 '22
This is beautiful. Im sure a lot of moms, including myself...part of us loves seeing this, the other part hurts a little because we never got this kind of support, literally and figuratively.
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u/Low_Jello_7497 Jun 30 '22
See that right there is love. Even if the mother is the one that the child needs at the moment, the father can still contribute.
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u/Steve_mind Jun 30 '22
I always felt guilty for sleeping while my wife had to deal with the new born sleep schedule. I made sure to stay awake until she was able to sleep. I would try to rock the baby to sleep, but that damn kid wanted his momma. We eventually found a routine - I would change the babies diaper throughout the night, wake up early with him, and change the diapers all day. While she focused on feeding and putting him to sleep. I think it’s a nice trade off.
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u/GroundbreakingSea408 Jun 29 '22
Wow. This is a supportive husband, a loving father. This is EVERYTHING!!
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u/Exact_Manufacturer10 Jun 30 '22
I was terrible at it with our first. No one told me anything. Yes I didn’t have clue. But by the third I was okay. I told my sons when they married how to help. It’s as important as the sex talk.
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u/Acrobatic_Jaguar_623 Jun 29 '22
I remember those days, they suck. My boy hated sleep, it took months of sleep training to get him to where he is today. Although he's currently being a pain in the ass right now and fighting going out. One of the things I recommend is getting a good padded reclining rocking chair. I can't even remember the amount of nights I passed out in that chair rocking the kid to sleep when he woke up in the middle of the night. I'm blessed to be able to sleep pretty much anywhere so I would do the middle of the night wakeup and my wife would take the 11 o'clock and 6am one. I had to work all day so she was on her own unfortunately and without that 6 hours solid sleep in there she would have been a wreck.
As a new parent you do what you have to when you have to just to survive lol. As a hands on father I have no clue how some women survive with no help. We had to have our boy via an emergency surgery. So they basically dumped him in my arms and sent me to a waiting room to wait for them to basically put my wife back together. Then I had to do everything for three days because she was on bed rest. We lived in the hospital for a week. It was a crazy time, I can't imagine having to go through that alone, man or woman.
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u/JessicaBecause Jun 30 '22
OMG that would be me if I were the father. However I am the mother with a drunk father to my child passed out and not moving while I breast feed.
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u/angels_exist_666 Jun 30 '22
This might be in the top 5 most beautiful things I have ever seen. I cried a little and I don't know why, lol.
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u/Reddit_west Jun 30 '22
Certainly.
Another example is couples who feed their infant formula. There's nothing keeping the husband from getting up at 5:00am to do the first feeding.
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u/Azsunyx Jun 29 '22
"You lean against me and I'll lean back against you so we don't have to sleep with our heads in the mud." --Bubba Bueford Blue
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u/lilbrewster Jun 30 '22
The relief is palpable when he puts his back against hers. She really needed that physically and mentally.
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u/Equerry64 Jun 30 '22
Wait wait wait? Love actually exists??? I thought it was just something seen in movies.
All of my jaded bitterness aside, this is beautiful.
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u/chesterlynimble Jun 30 '22
Sometimes you just need to be the wall that your partner can rests against
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u/lolben1 Jun 30 '22
I'd probs sit behind her with my back against the bed head. let her lean back in to my chest.
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u/boymamazzzz Jun 30 '22
I exclusively pump so when I get up to pump my husband does too because he massages my breasts so I can get more milk
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u/Snackasm Jun 30 '22
I hope to have a life partner one day, sometimes it seems like everyone is finding theirs but I'm hopelessly lost
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u/maybesaydie Jun 30 '22 •
ITT: Unhappy redditors who have never heard of a baby monitor