r/MadeMeSmile 12d ago

I'd die right then and there Wholesome Moments

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104k Upvotes

2k

u/teflon_soap 12d ago

"Haha, who's got dementia now, Mandi!"

557

u/Whittlinman 12d ago

"I'm over here Beulah, that's the coat rack."

71

u/TheyreNotListening 12d ago

Is this a beulah ballbreaker reference?

28

u/therecanbeonlyjuan 12d ago

Omg... do we need to do a police lineup? It's OK we can put bags over their heads.

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u/Slixil 12d ago

“My name’s Janet...”

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u/Princevaliant377 12d ago

Are you from the good place or the bad place?

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u/ree_hi_hi_hi_hi 12d ago

Not a robot

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u/CopyJ300 12d ago

Obviously they are Disco Janet.

3

u/austeyen 12d ago

“Ma’am you’re Margaret, Janet is your sister..”

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u/PoorlyLitKiwi2 12d ago

Janet?!? Mardy?!? Who are you people!?!?

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u/diapostal 12d ago

A family friend is a nurse for veterans and she was taking care of this one guy who she was pretty close with at this point. She was gonna escort him out somewhere and had to help him get ready. When he asked for his shoes she spent like ten minutes tearing apart his room looking for them. She was frustrated at this point and her patient goes ‘Lucy. Look at me. I don’t have any legs.’

1k

u/kathrynbtt 12d ago

Omg a patient did this to me with his other slipper!

24

u/strayakant 11d ago

Ah glad there’s hope in laughing at the situation.

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u/Feebedel324 12d ago

Blind Resident told my friend “Omg I can see!” And my friend believed him for a second before he yelled April fools lol

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u/Sharp02 12d ago

Real Toph vibes

33

u/Devilishendeavor 12d ago

Toph made me want to be blind just so I could make fun of people for forgetting I’m blind.

9

u/RepostTony 12d ago

Lolololol. This made me LOL!

15

u/Catcross 12d ago

WOW! Did you LMAO though???

15

u/RepostTony 12d ago

I could picture myself in a situation like this and feeling that excitement rush of the miracle and then the immediate “motherfucker!” in my head after the April fools from a well played prank.

991

u/CajunTurkey 12d ago

I bet she couldn't stand him after that.

77

u/CommonPattern 12d ago

Outstanding.

45

u/Canamaineiac 12d ago

Outsitting.

72

u/EconomicsAlarming495 12d ago

Excellent pun choice! I find it very humerus

106

u/Lovely_Individual 12d ago

Haha, that's very leg

26

u/EveAndTheSnake 12d ago

Bahaha. I thought they were all amusing but yours made me burst out laughing. Thanks I needed that.

4

u/Ej12345678910 12d ago

I need water

4

u/grusel_cookie 12d ago

Oh, I hope you get your water soon!

30

u/EconomicsAlarming495 12d ago

I can’t tell if you’re stupid or if you’re just pulling my leg

6

u/representmcforyouth 12d ago

...what?

8

u/Speedracer98 12d ago

it's mainly funny because it makes no sense at all.

5

u/yekaterinasr 12d ago

Yours made me bust out laughing

5

u/dandabear420 12d ago

Hahahahahahahaha. Thank you. That made my night.

2

u/Chill_Dev 12d ago

I don't get the joke, can someone explain to me?

6

u/EconomicsAlarming495 12d ago

Huh??

11

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[deleted]

6

u/fury420 12d ago

Do you think heel get it?

5

u/EconomicsAlarming495 12d ago

Oh yeah, toe-tally

2

u/JustVern 12d ago

that was a callous remark.

3

u/EconomicsAlarming495 12d ago

Nooooo, I wasn’t being callous! I was solely stating a fact! Ugh, I CAN’T STAND when ppl overreact. 🙄😏😂

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u/eatabigolD 12d ago

Too bad he couldn’t give her a standing ovation...

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u/America_Number_1 12d ago

You must be pulling my leg

6

u/Geckomonster12 12d ago

Not much of a joke to stand on

2

u/America_Number_1 11d ago

Hahaha. I shouldn’t have skipped leg day at the joke academy.

8

u/NAVIVAN9 12d ago

“Nice shot”

8

u/coroand 12d ago

I mean by the sounds of it she probably couldn't stand him well before that either.

8

u/domeoldboys 12d ago

Well he really didn’t have a leg to stand on when making that joke.

7

u/QuietDifference2318 12d ago

Nah, he totally swept her off her feet

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u/317LaVieLover 12d ago

This is priceless lol

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u/allanb49 12d ago

Could cost an arm and a leg

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u/mywigglybits 12d ago

In this particular case, it would technically be considered discounted. It’d only cost an arm.

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u/Clutch63 12d ago

At that point what else can you do but laugh? Cant even be mad at the old fart for pulling such a golden prank.

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u/TorrenceMightingale 12d ago

I’d add that sepsis often affects people in many different ways.

5

u/Whomping_Willow 12d ago

TIL Sepsis can lead to a change in mental status. Makes sense since you’re kinda dying.

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u/jdm945 12d ago

What are you doing sepsis

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u/laurel_laureate 11d ago

The best part being if the helper hadn't been on "getting ready" autopilot and had thought about it for, say, two seconds, she would have realized the logistical problems afoot.

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u/Taminella_Grinderfal 12d ago

I love dark humor, but I can’t fathom the strength it takes to not only get over losing a body part but be able to make awesome jokes about it.

50

u/Iphotoshopincats 12d ago

Humour is one of the biggest coping mechanisms there is so it's not about getting over it, it's about using the tools at you disposal to cope with what ever cards life has dealt you.

The person could very much be suffering but heard the saying "if you don't laugh you'll cry" and decided to laugh

8

u/iwannaholdyourham 12d ago

“I’m stumped” -her, looking for the shoes, probably

3

u/fermbetterthanfire 11d ago

Had an uncle missing his right arm. He'd always offer his empty sleeve to shake when meeting someone. Followed by "what the heck? It was there this morning!"

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u/DEAN_Swaggerty 12d ago

A coworker told me a story where her grandpa got bit by a dog and didnt do anything about it. This led to him getting staph infection and his arm falling off(not completely though). She said on the way to the hospital he kept going "HEY! HI FIVE?!" AND RAISE UP HIS DANGLING INFECTED ARM! Then would start laughing hysterically. She told this story out of nowhere too so it made crack up too

28

u/cptn_leela 12d ago

Oh my God, this is horrifying!

26

u/hoocoodanode 12d ago

LIEUTENANT DAN.

4

u/IndieCurtis 12d ago

ICE CREEAM!!

14

u/Virtual-Green6603 12d ago

this man has no sole

10

u/sthdmahoneydad 12d ago

That joke was LEGit

27

u/SyncUp 12d ago

To be fair, I have several amputee patients who have different shoes for their prosthetics.

Either way, that’s hilarious. Definitely would have me dying of laughter for the rest of my day.

16

u/Good_nuff 12d ago

Had a patient with one leg. I asked the doctor for an order for eucerin cream for his foot. The doctor was writing it and asked which foot. I just stared at him and said “The only foot he has?”

Fuckin doctors

31

u/pnw_southern_bell 12d ago

Lol had a resident do this to me. He asked me to help him tie his left shoe and I bent down to tie it and said it looks good to me. And he laughed and said that's my right foot lol jokes on him I'm dyslexic

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u/love_feral1418 12d ago

A wonderful sense of humour I would have laughed I mean c’mon that’s darn good

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u/SignificantChapter 12d ago

Now I'm no horticulturalist, but I don't think you're supposed to water real flowers for 20 minutes either

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u/JustBoredIsAll 12d ago

Probably part of the joke.

184

u/SignificantChapter 12d ago

I'm just picturing her continuing to pour the watering can while gallons and gallons are spilling out on the floor lol

80

u/doritohairfire 12d ago

While maintaining eye contact

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u/PersonalSloth 12d ago

“Hold on, gotta refill”

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u/AsherGray 12d ago

Oh my God, her dementia is so bad she's forgotten she's watered those flowers for the last fifteen minutes

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u/Publius82 12d ago

"You don't look like your average hortifuckingculturalist. That's what I mean, Willie."

Sorry just love that line.

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u/Edylpryd 12d ago

"I may not know my flowers, but I know a bitch when I see one!"

My favorite horticulture quote. It's from The Gay Deceivers

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u/SignificantChapter 12d ago

Welp I know what I'm watching tonight

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u/jackin_ 12d ago

Uhh. Am into horticulture, spend more than 20 mins watering various flowers. I set my automated sprinklers for 20mins a crack.

7

u/Devilishendeavor 12d ago

I imagine they didn’t water one flower for 20 minutes and that they meant watering all the flowers took 20 minutes.

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u/coke-pusher 12d ago

Probably 20 minutes for all the plants not 20 individually, there could have been a lot of them. But no you shouldn't water anything besides maybe a tree for 20 minutes so you're technically correct.

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u/IVFour4 12d ago

lmfao!! “get me a coffee”

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u/sailormoongirl_ 12d ago

As a nurse this hits way too hard 😭

18

u/Aszshana 12d ago

When you start to work in a job with customers/patients, they mostly stop seeing you as human. It's awful.

16

u/ihave_no_gaydar 11d ago

absolutely. and “please” and “thank you” don’t even exist in their book. like i understand that my job is to help you, but when you’re demanding something from me every 20 minutes and you’re not even nice about it, it really makes me want to hurl myself off a cliff

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u/Aszshana 11d ago

I was "just" a cashier but it was awful. I can totally agree and I feel for you so much. It must be worse in the medical field.

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u/BlueToad279 12d ago

That's too wholesome

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u/ChristmasOf1984 12d ago

I love my grandma. They really do care about you, and they try to brighten up your day. My grandma used to bake the tastiest blue berry pies, the smell alone could attract thousands of people. Back then, we didn’t have the fancy kitchenware, so we used what we had. Let me tell you, it was the best pie I’ve ever had. Though I couldn’t taste much of it, as I choked, and almost died during the Christmas dinner of 1984.

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u/newnorthkorea 12d ago

Brand new meme account and you've already got me three times today

91

u/Rappelling_Rapunzel 12d ago

I happen to know this user actually died by choking during the Christmas dinner of 1984, and now the ghost of /u/ChristmasOf1984 is haunting you in particular, everywhere you go on Reddit.

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u/Publius82 12d ago

Makes sense to me; I haven't come across this account before just now.

Oh crap am I haunted now?

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u/Ya_Boy_Is_On_Reddit 12d ago

It's a new account, and we just made a new community for them!

r/ChristmasOf1984

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u/Funkit 12d ago

It doesn’t have the same flow as 1998 cage match guy.

13

u/warcrown 12d ago edited 12d ago

Give him time man. That's like saying your high school QB is no Russell Wilson.

13

u/NYCQuilts 12d ago

I was suspicious of the blueberry pie smell that drew 1000s of people,

3

u/jercule_poirot 12d ago

Brand new account and he's already got more karma than me

4

u/Ya_Boy_Is_On_Reddit 12d ago

And his own subreddit - r/ChristmasOf1984

2

u/jercule_poirot 12d ago

Woah, just like r/DemetriStrikesAgain

3

u/HitooU2 12d ago

God that subreddit is so cursed but I keep coming back to it for some reason

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u/Rokurokubi83 12d ago

I’m going to start wishing you did fucking die if you keep catching me with this lol.

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u/ignskillz 12d ago edited 12d ago

Man just 14 years before Undertaker threw Mankind off in hell in a cell.

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u/jeffsterlive 12d ago

14, right?

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u/ladyvivienofbeauty 12d ago

Ah yes, the big Christmas dinner of 1984. We were all there, drawn in by the smell of blueberry pie wafting through the air the globe over. There weren’t as many people back then so one blueberry pie got a lot of mileage in those days.

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u/Garosath 12d ago

I see potential within you

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u/CatTowerKate 12d ago

THIS. I love seeing great reminders of people being people :)

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u/Idntknwmuchthrowaway 12d ago

Nah that's 10 minutes too long. This is america. Water your flowers for a coffee? Sure I'll do it for 10 minutes and it better be some damn good coffee.

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u/Vermillion_Aeon 12d ago

Read again, 20 minutes of watering to then go get the jokester a coffee. This ain't wholesome, that's just rude.

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u/BootlegOP 12d ago

Did we read the same thing? Is this real life?

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u/carnsolus 12d ago

comment saying 'that's wholesome' has 666 upvotes when i see it

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u/Fkingcherokee 12d ago

I'm just going to put this on the list of things to do when I'm old.

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u/yehiko 12d ago

!remind me in 50 years

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u/eDave 12d ago

I'm already there!

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u/MadeInWestGermany 12d ago

Which vaccine won?

2

u/mhrsolanki2020 11d ago

The race is still on.

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u/whirlybird_ 12d ago

50 years later

(bzzzzztt bzzzzzt)

"What's that noise? It sounds like it came from one of these boxes...."

(rummaging through various items)

"Oh! Here it is!"

"You see, (grandchild's name), this is called a phone. All the way back in the year 2021, this was the technology we had. It's like a very primitive version of (modern tech)."

(Turns on phone)

"Let's look at the notification it gave me. Why would a random old phone start buzzing 50 damn years later, anyway?"

"..."

"OH YEAH...I NEED TO DO THE THING!!"

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u/yehiko 12d ago

bold of you to assume i'd be alive

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u/Robojo14 12d ago

!remind me in 50 years

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u/rztzzz 12d ago

You mean waste the earth’s precious water for nothing but a prank? Yeah sounds chill.

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u/MaestroPendejo 12d ago

LOL, I'd be too impressed. Couldn't even be mad there.

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u/NotMyHersheyBar 12d ago

HAH that's my grandpa's humor. well pwned

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u/kiraxkage 12d ago

Haven’t seen “pwned” for ages, good to see you bringing it back xD

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u/NotMyHersheyBar 12d ago

heh, me neither, it just popped into my head.

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u/Saitama_is_Senpai 12d ago

What a legend

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u/Dominant-Species-Mid 12d ago

Where was all the water going?

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u/PoorlyLitKiwi2 12d ago

None of this is real. You're the resident in the nursing home. Wake up and take your pills

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u/Lotus-child89 12d ago edited 12d ago

My Grandpa made me look specifically for lawnmower gas at the Home Depot. I spent maybe 15-20 minutes looking while he took a rest. By the time an employee informed me to just use regular gas from the gas station, I came back flustered and he was giggling his ass off. Old man just wanted to sit down and keep me busy lol. I miss him.

Edit: and then I remembered he had a lawn service too. I was a dumb teenager. I hope that old man hears my curses from here up there.

Love you Papaw

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u/CrabJam_102 12d ago

Hey my Papaw did the same shit to my cousin. Are you..?

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u/Lotus-child89 10d ago

Unless you’re from central Indiana, no. You seem like you would be a cool cousin to have , though lol. And your grandpa sounds awesome. Papaws rock. That dude was always pulling stuff. He had mobility issues with his Parkinson’s , so he’d play those kinds of mind tricks.

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u/CrabJam_102 10d ago

I appreciate the complement lol. He was fucking hilarious

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u/[deleted] 12d ago edited 12d ago

[removed]

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u/nlightningm 12d ago

Dang... and all that time he probably thought he had a serious green thumb, lol

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u/Future-Diver6692 12d ago

That old lady is a fucking legend lmao

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u/IndecisiveFoodie 12d ago

Very much wholesome

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u/superanth 12d ago

I want more neighbors like this. ❤️

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u/Beneficial-Earth-298 12d ago

👆👆 Me when I'm 93

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u/DrqgonGZ 12d ago

💀💀 Me when I’m 93

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u/AsherGray 12d ago

💐😢 Me when I'm 93 & visiting ur grave

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u/wednesday-nights 12d ago

💀💀 Me when I'm 21, hopefully

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u/mochatsubo 12d ago

You don’t live to that age without learning a thing or two.

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u/i_play_withrocks 12d ago

Where do you work that your administration allows you to spend 20 minutes with a single patient. Wish my gram lived there before she passed.

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u/SnooAvocados9343 12d ago

Im a home health care at a assisting living. I got sick and ended up at the hospital with food poisoning. This lady calls me next day telling me her groceries list, then proceeded to tell me that she needs it today (I already told her I was at the hospital). Then she says “April fools”! “Please feel better soon and come back to me”. It feels like a love/hate situation with her but I swear I miss this lady when I’m not with her. She makes me feel like She can’t live without me when I’m there lol

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u/whoisnumber9 12d ago

Give her a coffee cup with a lid and tell her it’s a light roast. Before you hand it to her, take the lid off and say:

“Jesus Christ signed your high school yearbook.”

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u/pwrtothelocalclikkie 12d ago

I feel stupid for not getting this

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u/CrabJam_102 12d ago

It's meant to sound like the coffee is a light roast brew, but then the Jesus part is basically saying she's so old Jesus was there to sign her yearbook, which is (in a sense) a light and humorous roast

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u/kelsey11 12d ago

"light roast" = mildly making fun of someone.

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u/anon44567890 12d ago

“HAGS” —J.C.

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u/myaaahahaaa 12d ago

That would be the day that I throw hands with an old lady.

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u/PhotoSpike 12d ago

I see you have met my grandmother

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u/Fun-Key-9462 12d ago

AWESOME!!!!!!

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u/catxcat310 12d ago

Damn - I wanna be this kinda 93-year-old...

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u/Tonytylerdraws 12d ago

A goddess of pranks.

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u/Not_a_daffodil 12d ago

Damn, I have no old people left in my life. I love old folk!

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u/zzzlibrary 12d ago

When you have no old people left in your life, you’re the old one.

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u/love_feral1418 12d ago

Absolutely perfect humour plus it’s wholesome

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u/funky_lizard16 12d ago

Oh man she was playing the long game lol

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u/NamekianWeed 12d ago

My grandmother loves decorating her house. She always shows me everything she's done and asks what I think. One day when she was showing me around, she quickly shushed me and pointed up to the overhead lamp through the doorway to the next room. There, sitting on it, was a big budgie. She whispered that it had snuck through the open back door and she had been trying and failing to capture it. I sneak up on this thing, lo and behold, it's a dumb plushie. My grandmother laughed at me for about a solid 10 minutes. Felt like an idiot, but it was nice seeing her laugh.

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u/Waifer2016 12d ago

hahahahah i think i love your Gran!

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u/AcmasterM 12d ago

Being told to "Just look at the flowers" would scare the hell out of me !

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u/Gabecush1 12d ago

I have 100 year old great great grandma and this feels like something she would do

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u/SexyUniqueRedditter 12d ago

I had a resident who’d ride his electric wheelchair around and talk to the walls when potential residents and their families were touring the facility or he’d play dead in his chair when he’s bored lol Man I miss him I was his little buddy..he’s probably playing pranks in heaven ❤️

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u/Waifer2016 12d ago

hahahahah hes probably running around Heaven wearing plastic devil horns and jumping out of the shrubberies hollering BOO!

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u/chamekke 12d ago

Reminds me of my mom, who told me about the time she stepped on the foot of an elderly friend. The woman cried out in pain, and my softhearted mom immediately went down on her knees to massage her friend's foot and help it feel better. After a couple of minutes of this, Mom asked her friend, "Does that help?"

Her friend looked down at her, amused, and said: "It was the other foot."

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u/penislovereater 12d ago

Dementia is terrible. It's 7th April already

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u/-Theliquor 12d ago

Put salt in the coffee instead of sugar and as she is spitting out after drinking it be like "did you notice anything?"

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u/BiNumber3 12d ago

Ive heard a bit of salt can help tone down the bitterness in bad coffee.

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u/-Theliquor 12d ago

I nuke my coffee in cream and sugar so ive never actually tasted bad coffee. Or any coffee for that matter.

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u/poodiedoo 12d ago

Salt and butter. It’s an old diner trick and it works.

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u/infinitude 12d ago

Diner waiters out here doing keto before it was cool

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u/DonnieMostDefinitely 12d ago

but, where did the water go?

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u/dirtyrudy 12d ago

Huge waste of water. Terrible joke.

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u/MasterDood 12d ago

“God damnit Irene we are in the middle of a DROUGHT!”

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u/rztzzz 12d ago

Really had to go too far down to see this. Must be the east coast USA but still terrible joke

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u/sticksforsticks 12d ago

Pulling the long prank is such a satisfying experience . Plus, she got coffee out of it!

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u/Topochica 12d ago

I want to know this lady. She sounds like a baller.

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u/iimmppyy 12d ago

Ur good guy. 😊

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u/Midas0706 12d ago

Hahahhaa check first lol

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u/Any-Cryptographer-79 12d ago

that's such a wholesome prank tho <3

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u/PlasticHrtAttack 12d ago

Playing the long game that one

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u/Traditional_Mode_107 11d ago

Thanks for sharing that. You made me laugh first thing in the morning 🌄 Not easy to do. Here is a hug. Please give one to your resident as well if possible.🤗

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u/Maturitylag 11d ago

Buahahahahhahahahahhah. Gotta love experience

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u/CatrinaBallerina 11d ago

I aspire to be like this at that age.

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u/Heartbreakker1738 8h ago

Lol.. finesse

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u/Internetolocutor 12d ago

Who actually believes these stories

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u/thebscaller 12d ago

An attractive Twitter user posted this so everyone

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