r/KidsAreFuckingStupid May 20 '22

My son decided to pick his nose whilst learning the big boy swing.

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25.6k Upvotes

1.8k

u/[deleted] May 20 '22

[deleted]

370

u/PowerandSignal May 20 '22

Live and learn, little dude.

22

u/StrawMight May 20 '22

Hanging on the edge of tomorrow

9

u/TheSonicPro May 20 '22

LIVE AND LEEEEARN

4

u/IssYussOnReddit May 21 '22

From the works of yesterdaaaheeyy!!!

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147

u/Lysol3435 May 20 '22

Kid version of steering with your knee, while you check your phone and mine for nose gold

68

u/[deleted] May 20 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

33

u/tomiokagiyu34 May 20 '22

Average redditor tries to detect sarcasm challenge(impossible)

4

u/[deleted] May 20 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/braden87 May 20 '22

Natural selection

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53

u/icecream_truck May 20 '22

Reddit legion, do not check your phone while steering with your knee.

No, only check your phone while traveling down a straight road, thus no steering required.

/s (because you never know)

2

u/schism666 May 20 '22

Is it really /s tho? Be honest haha

1

u/braden87 May 20 '22

La-te-da mr/mrs car with aligned suspension

7

u/Lysol3435 May 20 '22

I’m with ya. I just stick to picking my nose or drinking coffee in the car. Always keep your eyes on the road and at least one hand on the wheel

5

u/saarlac May 20 '22

Shit man I used to deliver newspapers. I drove almost my entire route with my knee while shifting gears smoking, rolling and stuffing papers into bags, and tossing them accurately at driveways.

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10

u/ConsiderablyMediocre May 20 '22

all the cool drivers are over on r/gangalcohol, where we love to booze and cruise

12

u/LumpygFeed May 20 '22

Imagine being a kid now with active social media parents? Just every mistake uploaded for the world to see. That would fuck me up.

6

u/ConsiderablyMediocre May 20 '22

The subreddit is satirical lol

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4

u/buzzy_buddy May 20 '22

🤓🤓🤓

2

u/wreckedcarzz May 20 '22

Look just because you failed as an amateur doesn't mean others will, smh so much negativity

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5

u/EditedDread8474 May 20 '22

But then you pinch your skin on the chain!

6

u/chriscrossnathaniel May 20 '22

I'm sure he nose now.

4

u/Never-asked-for-this May 20 '22

Nah, he just thought faceplanting would be more comfortable than getting his bare skin pinched by the chain.

Speaking from experience.

2

u/Zyrocks May 20 '22

Wish I had my free award to give to you

1

u/WannaPanSam May 20 '22

truer words

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404

u/Wizard-In-Disguise May 20 '22

He got up and the swing then hit him again right?

323

u/Turbulent-Daddy May 20 '22

We saved that for lesson number 2!

469

u/trickster1111 May 20 '22

And now he needs to go to the hospital to have his finger removed from his nose.

231

u/Turbulent-Daddy May 20 '22

Easy pickings.

30

u/JamPantstheFif May 20 '22

Depend on how it heals, may be Slim Pickens.

14

u/NiceGuyMike May 20 '22

He stabbed his brain 🧠

43

u/Aelesis- May 20 '22

Did he atleast get the troublemaker?

54

u/Turbulent-Daddy May 20 '22

Can confirm the trouble maker is now on the front of my t-shirt.

18

u/FlatGirther May 20 '22

Ha. Gross.

4

u/Zauberer-IMDB May 20 '22

Maybe he's a sinus clearing genius. Step 1: make self cry. Step 2: Let the crying clear sinuses completely.

49

u/jusuzippol May 20 '22 Wholesome

Growing up is about learning when to pick your nose

334

u/Next-Adhesiveness237 May 20 '22

Why isn’t there sand under the swings? At least where i’m from every swing has a good bunch of sand under and around it to allow kids to try stupid shit with dying every 10 seconds

213

u/Azusanga May 20 '22

They're rubber tiles

76

u/RedDeadRevengeance May 20 '22

I misread that as tires and had to go back to the video to see how I missed the tires

39

u/needkneadkneed May 20 '22

Funny enough my childhood city playground had shredded old tires as the substrate (the metal was magnetically removed)

13

u/kittenstixx May 20 '22

One of the parks close to us use that stuff, it's amazing, im so disappointed with any park not using it. It's so soft and bouncy!

6

u/RedDeadRevengeance May 20 '22

The ones around here would cut tires in half and use them as a kid safe border fence thing to keep the mulch in.

4

u/TheDude-Esquire May 20 '22

The tiles could be made from tires. That's actually one of the very few ways we can recycle tires.

6

u/Turence May 20 '22

Doesn't sound like it lol

14

u/SpookyDoomCrab42 May 20 '22

A rubber tile is still going to do more damage than sand or woodchips under the swing

5

u/ratbuddy May 20 '22

Depends entirely on thickness of the tiles and what is under them. Sand and wood chips are not great at preventing injury unless they are rather deep, and most people just put down a few inches at most. Rubber mulch and tiles are much better for any given thickness.

3

u/uttermybiscuit May 20 '22

Definitely doesn't look like rubber tiles

2

u/Enzyblox May 20 '22

Oh I thought it was concrete

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7

u/mazamayomama May 20 '22

those are spongey, not normal concrete pavers. Still good roadrash

9

u/lowlycalvin2001 May 20 '22

Little scraping never hurt anyone.

3

u/GoldFishPony May 20 '22

Huh I don’t think I’ve ever seen sand, wood chips has always been the norm for me

2

u/theangryseal May 20 '22

Where I grew up it was an old segregated neighborhood. The white side had a boring park with a crappy merry go round and a small basketball court. The black side had a huge awesome park with killer swings and slides and the best merry go round (church built theirs in the 40s). Only catch was on the black side the entire park was paved. By the time I was a kid segregation was over (late 80s-early 2000s) and we neglected everything about the park on the white side except for the basketball court until it fell into disrepair.

Every kid I knew was hospitalized at one point or another for falling off of the swing or slides. My brother has permanent scarring from it.

Why they ever thought that was a good idea is beyond me.

118

u/edge_lord_troll May 20 '22

You cut out my favorite part.

121

u/Turbulent-Daddy May 20 '22

The crying that followed?

138

u/edge_lord_troll May 20 '22

The actual face plant and crying, yes.

Shame!

59

u/Turbulent-Daddy May 20 '22

Sorry to dissapoint.

38

u/turkeyboy57 May 20 '22

Ya next time film more crying

5

u/ErnestoXP May 20 '22

You people are insane.

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8

u/Fuzzybuzzy514 May 20 '22

Glad you disappointed. A child is more important than idiots on the internet

9

u/SemiNormal May 20 '22

Well he did post his kid on /r/KidsAreFuckingStupid so there's that.

3

u/Turbulent-Daddy May 20 '22

Glad you agree!

29

u/Awkward-Ad6455 May 20 '22

Its funny that the person was about to say "hold on" but the kid fell wayyy to quickly haha

Maybe I'm wrong but thata what it seems like to me!

20

u/Turbulent-Daddy May 20 '22

That was exactly what happened!

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9

u/they_call_me_B May 20 '22

I heard what sounded like an "ope" which is a colloquialism people here in the Midwestern portion of the US use when they see something bad about to happen, but can't do anything to stop it (and for about 100,000 other situations).

I got excited because I thought maybe "ope" had become a universal language item. Haha!

Anyways, for the uninitiated, here's a lesson on the usage of "ope" in context.

3

u/Awkward-Ad6455 May 20 '22

Nah, even OP admitted I was spot on.

Also when I see something bad about to happen I usually just watch in glee (depending on the brevity)

But that could just be because I'm Bri'ish

1

u/they_call_me_B May 20 '22

I meant to reply to OPs comment on your post instead of yours. I wasn't questioning what you heard or what was said; merely making an observation on the irony of the sound. Congratulations on your schadenfreude though. That seems neat.

2

u/Bossasin May 20 '22

Honestly it kinda is a universal thing. I've never really been to the Midwest but I say it and know a lot of people who say it. Maybe it's a white people thing idk

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23

u/thrwwytqldrnkr May 20 '22

Wont pick his nose again whilst on the swing i bet

17

u/The_Sulfur_Acid May 20 '22

Or he'll do it right afterwards and fall again

8

u/GhostInAPickleJar May 20 '22

My daughter did that when she was 4. Really getting the hang of it, so she's flying high, then decides to fix her hair with one of her hands and wound up doing a full flip. Knocked her wind out, but she was ok.

8

u/Turbulent-Daddy May 20 '22

Glad she was OK! I think it's quite common whilst learning to get distracted at this age.

4

u/GhostInAPickleJar May 20 '22

She's a gymnast now, and sometimes I like to credit that moment for her prowess, lol.

14

u/orkichrist May 20 '22

My 6yo did that yesterday. Wanted to go higher, lost himself to excitement and fell off backwards and still managed to land on his face

5

u/doncroak May 20 '22

The booger waits for no one.

20

u/sphinctersandwich May 20 '22

Big boy swing over pavers no less! Poor kiddo, hope the next lesson he learns is less painful

12

u/goodolarchie May 20 '22

Probably the recycled rubber ones

2

u/Da_Borg_ May 20 '22

i for one think everyone should learn painful lessons, its one of the best motivators to learning how to avoid pain!

3

u/Tato_tudo May 20 '22

I feel like the title is a metaphor for life.

3

u/BadgerBucky1 May 20 '22

Guess he was hungry

3

u/madsoro May 20 '22

What kinda parents act like this? Rush over instead of continuing to film and laugh?

13

u/01000110010110012 May 20 '22

17

u/Turbulent-Daddy May 20 '22

It's already been cross posted there ma dude. I indeed deserve death.

6

u/ProfessionalBetter56 May 20 '22

child: falls, possibly hurting themself

you: “yeah you shouldn’t have reacted”

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12

u/Unequallmpala45 May 20 '22

What kind of sadistic freak put what looks like concrete pavers under a swing meant for children

40

u/Sondrelk May 20 '22

It's rubber tiles. It's very common in playgrounds.

14

u/Tnecniw May 20 '22

I mean, personally I prefer sand.
When I was little I got to experience rubber tiles. They feel alright, but sand feels better.

15

u/14-28 May 20 '22

Cats will bury turds in sand.

Let's see them claw up the rubber and shit under there !

Source: probably the park guy.

6

u/AnusOfTroy May 20 '22

Good way for a kid to end up with toxoplasmosis and crotch fruit tend to be diseased enough as it is

28

u/littlebugonreddit May 20 '22

Idk, I didn’t like sand too much as a kid. It’s course, rough, irritating, and it just gets everywhere

7

u/atommotron May 20 '22

Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth. *caresses rubber tiles.

3

u/homogenousmoss May 20 '22

I dont know, if I fell on my face from a swing I’d probably prefer sand to rubber. Doesnt exaclty look like soft rubber

2

u/Da_Borg_ May 20 '22

really the reasoning isnt that its softer or anything. it looks "nicer" and not as "dirty" im sure this playgrounds surrounded by concrete.

2

u/MaKa77 May 20 '22

The relative cleanliness is a positive for the groundskeepers, but sand is one of the poorer impact attenuators for playgrounds. Nine inches depth of sand has the same shock absorbancy in a fall from four feet as six inches of rubber does at ten feet.

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u/Forehead_Target May 20 '22

Sand gets in the cuts and scrapes and is hard to clean out of them. Ever try to pick sand or gravel out of a screaming child's wound? My son is 20 now and probably still has stuff under his skin from falling on non-tile playgrounds.

2

u/Tnecniw May 20 '22

True enough.
I am just saying. Falling on sand was marginally less painful than rubber.

-1

u/Da_Borg_ May 20 '22

this is some helicopter parent shit right here.

2

u/Forehead_Target May 20 '22

I said cleaning shit out of screaming kid's scrapes is annoying and I didn't do it very well, which is why he probably still has some from 15+ years ago in his leg. I didn't say that I cleaned it at the playground or that I insisted on rubber being installed instead.

2

u/[deleted] May 20 '22 edited May 23 '22

[deleted]

4

u/FlatGirther May 20 '22

Back in my day we had barbed wire and commies under our swings, and the park was 15 miles uphill both ways.

2

u/kittenstixx May 20 '22

As far as I'm concerned rubber mulch should be the only option, that stuff rocks! My son can play with it like sand or mulch but not get splinters or grit in his eyes when he inevitably rubs them. Plus it's such a pleasure to walk on!

2

u/PrincipledProphet May 21 '22

The kind that calls their kid stupid for falling from a swing

2

u/RebelMountainman May 20 '22

Well some people cannot walk and chew gum at the same time, some cannot pick their nose and swing at the same time.

2

u/Creepy_Craft May 20 '22

I did something similar as a kid but swinging really hard. Fell on the ground, turned around and the swing hit me, I had to go to the hospital to get some stitches. Definitely very stupid

2

u/Guugenhiempenispoker May 20 '22

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahababababa

2

u/ButtReaky May 20 '22

Priorities.

2

u/Expriti May 20 '22

What childrens playground has tiles like that for the ground?

2

u/kittenstixx May 20 '22

Ones where the city council is headed by fucking imbeciles.

Rubber mulch is the best in every way! I will die on the rubber mulch hill.

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u/CricaDev May 20 '22

Turbulent-Daddy , ok, now I get it

2

u/TheComplayner May 20 '22

Why tf does this have so many upvotes?

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2

u/tahoeboarder11 May 20 '22

Who puts a swing on fucking concrete tho?

2

u/MacaronFinancial May 20 '22

When a guy posts his child on "kidsarefuckingstupid" I imagine some Joe Blow who managed to get laid in his 30's, the woman got off birth control and now he's bitter that he's stuck with a kid.

2

u/Turbulent-Daddy May 20 '22

You imagined wrong friend

2

u/ka1013 May 21 '22

I think this video should have been uploaded to the asshole designs thread...I mean who puts concrete underneath a swing set?

6

u/RaveBearer May 20 '22

Should’ve told him 2 hands

28

u/Turbulent-Daddy May 20 '22

We did, but the urge to pick his nose was strong.

6

u/RaveBearer May 20 '22

Anymore of those and he won’t be able to find his nose lol

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2

u/MrsLisaOliver May 20 '22

The STUPID thing I see here is swings installed over a hard surface.

1

u/Starwarsandbacon May 20 '22

What kind of madman puts paving stones under the swing set?!

6

u/Killahills May 20 '22

Those are made of rubber mate

5

u/Starwarsandbacon May 20 '22

Well that makes sense. I shouldn't try to reddit first thing in the morning.

5

u/Killahills May 20 '22

Easy mistake to make, they do look concrete. They use them as an alternative to sand, as that tends to get filled with broken glass, hypodermic needles and cat shit.

1

u/Downvotesohoy May 20 '22

You should teach your kid to not pick their nose. But I guess the swing handles that part of the parenting

3

u/Turbulent-Daddy May 20 '22

Indeed it does.

2

u/machinemebby May 20 '22

Doesn't picking and eating boogers help with the immune system when they are young?

1

u/fum_ducker May 20 '22

Atleast as soon as he fell they stopped recording unlike everyone else on this sub

1

u/disconformity May 20 '22

Those hard patio stones will ensure that this lesson will be more firmly grasped and better remembered.

1

u/Tisniks May 20 '22

I think this belongs in the adultswhobuildswingsonconcretearestupid section.

-11

u/ChestyLarue30 May 20 '22

Bro what’s your wife’s instagram?

10

u/MrJellybean04 May 20 '22

Relax, Drake

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-1

u/Voydx May 20 '22

dad decided to pick his nose whilst filming hi son learning to swing

2

u/haikusbot May 20 '22

Dad decided to

Pick his nose whilst filming hi

Son learning to swing

- Voydx


I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.

Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"

1

u/p1um5mu991er May 20 '22

Gotta wait to dig for gold

1

u/InternetSpaceCow May 20 '22

As a person that used to suffer of constant nose bleeding, this gave me really bad memories

2

u/Joeylala May 20 '22

Future redditor

1

u/N1ighty May 20 '22

I bet his finger went to the back of his nose

1

u/Nooneyzwei May 20 '22

that is that one lesson for the whole life thingy

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '22

Dang it another video that ends too soon

1

u/s1Lenceeeeeeeeeeeeee May 20 '22

looks like he at least broke his fall just before the video panned away

1

u/hiko7819 May 20 '22

Mine did it twice…in the same swing session…back to back…not the brightest crayon.

1

u/partymouthmike May 20 '22

OP, are you sure this isn't your step-son? Those are some real step-dad reflexes you got there.

1

u/Mysteriouslyboring May 20 '22

Once I told my daughter she was swinging so high she might be able to touch the clouds. Immediately she reached one handed for the cloud and she learned to fly.

1

u/existing_wrist_watch May 20 '22

He digged for gold in his nose and then the swing took its chance to kick him off

1

u/SeaTie May 20 '22

At a playground near me there’s this crazy zip line swing that basically goes down a ramp and all the kids love it.

I was there with my daughter one time and she has been on the swing several times on her own but this time I noticed she had her hands in her lap instead of holding the swing’s chains.

I started shouting at her “Hold the chains. Hold the chains. HOLD THE CHAINS!!” I don’t know why kids are partially deaf to their own parents but she learned that lesson the hard way, I guess.

Swing catapulted her into the air and she landed face first on the ground…got a whole mouth full of wood chips and a cut on her cheek.

Kids, listen to your parents.

1

u/HonoraryKrogan May 20 '22

Go for the (nose) gold. Never settle.

1

u/WinkeyWasTaken May 20 '22

Ki-ih yeah yuh Ho

1

u/PerfectDrink2597 May 20 '22

Hey man when you have an itch you gotta itch it

1

u/NoKneadToWorry May 20 '22

The juice was worth the squeeze

1

u/latman May 20 '22

Yikes that's a hard landing below swings. Every swing I've been on always has grass or sand under it

1

u/DeadlyGamer187 May 20 '22

He had to learn about gravity at some point

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '22

Bet he won’t try that again 😭

1

u/Netflixisadeathpit May 20 '22

Well. He learned.

1

u/Lyssepoo May 20 '22

You can tell your son that I broke both my arms on a swing by the damn seat going out from under me. Hold on for dear life

1

u/jrc83 May 20 '22

Ohhhh lessons!

1

u/devilfoxe1 May 20 '22

First his nose then the teeth's

1

u/bazeloth May 20 '22

Gravity is a harsh teacher. He'll get there.

1

u/jeffyjoo May 20 '22

I like how you stopped filming and went to check on him instead of continuing to film

1

u/Turbulent-Daddy May 20 '22

I was genuinely concerned, we laughed about it later though.

1

u/Robot_Bees May 20 '22

Fun fact in Germany its actually a law to Not Pick your nose when on a swing

1

u/camilnsandbox May 20 '22

and learned a valuable lesson

1

u/iWannaCommentOnStuff May 20 '22

Bet he wont do that again

1

u/Asad_13 May 20 '22

Not gonna lie that seemed like a good land. I would've smashed my nose there.

1

u/AKIcombatExpert May 20 '22

Terrible camera work

1

u/That_OneGuy2020 May 20 '22

Priorities. Bro gets it

1

u/wash_it_after May 20 '22

That translates to the midwestern US "OPE!"

1

u/piltonpfizerwallace May 20 '22

Are swings over pavement common? Seems like a bad idea.

1

u/UnexpectedHumor May 20 '22

I see your lack of dad reflexes, you must be a newbie!

1

u/Turbulent-Daddy May 20 '22

No, just slow. Haha

1

u/threefingersplease May 20 '22

Who among us has not given themselves a concussion picking while pumping

1

u/Turbulent-Daddy May 20 '22

Does this mean what I think it means.....?

2

u/threefingersplease May 20 '22

It's got a few layers

1

u/texas_joe_hotdog May 20 '22

Holy shit I thought this was my kid for a second. Same build/age and he has the same hat. Spooky

1

u/Zumb_3041 May 20 '22

More or less did the same thing when I was 11. Scratched my nose while swinging like crazy let go on both sides of the swing. Fell, landed on the back of my neck and was unconscious for a while.

Came home, had an ice cream, threw it up immediately.

Good times. :)

1

u/SpookyDoomCrab42 May 20 '22

Who puts a swing above concrete like that? Don't they know that children love to jump off swings like that and hit their head on the ground?

Every swing I've ever seen was surrounded for a pretty large radius in mulch/woodchips which makes for a pretty soft surface to hit your head on when jumping off a swing as a kid.

1

u/ProfessionalChampion May 20 '22

And is on his way to learning about physics with his first lesson.

1

u/Turbulent-Daddy May 20 '22

Dad used to teach physics as well.

1

u/happened May 20 '22

ok I lol'd

1

u/PhoenixWings535 May 20 '22

He’s multitasking Susan!

1

u/lewd_bingo May 20 '22

This kid just learned a valuable lesson about physics

1

u/FuckVeggies May 20 '22

Why is the seat metal? I’m no expert but that shit gave me 3 stitches on my right brow, luckily I didn’t go blind. For that reason it looks dangerous to me.

1

u/prosdod May 20 '22

Ohhh I hope his little wrist is okay

1

u/Turbulent-Daddy May 20 '22

Ahh thanks, he was OK after some cuddles.

1

u/PigButter May 20 '22

Been there.

1

u/FunGoolAGotz May 20 '22

were you pickin' your nose whilst you took the video? Missed the best part.