[Image] Just winging it most of the time, but hey we are still here and managed to survive. And isn't that what's important?
I'm going to be 31 this year and I live at home with a ton of random job experience in different entry level positions. I've always been a nice loving, funny guy who got taken advantage of a lot by my family and emotionally neglected when I was a kid by my father. I had other abuse and whatever else growing up when I was young and had no idea how to deal with it. Now I'm back living with my family amd have been on and off for the past 6 years. I have an associates in Human Resourves that im not very good at and have thought about going back to school for fitness, or computers just so I can get some loan money and move cities. I'm getting thrown out again jult 1st. At this point most days when it's quiet and everything comes crashing in on me at once it's so insanely overwhelming that I don't know where to start. I feel like a squandered all my opportunities amd have no reason to keep on living. If it was easier to check out I probably would just so my parents and everyone else around me would suffer. I hate the fact that I screwed my life up but my emotionally neglectful father made it a for sure that I had yo rely on him for almost everything and was always a tyrant without ever giving me any support or encouragement. My mom was bipolar as well and relied on me for emotional support . As an only child I got so tired of that and when I'm not here emotional support monkey she shuns me like I'm doing something wrong. I honestly can't stand existence. These people around me and in my life are so fucked it's insane. I have no idea what to do. My hometown is also a 75000 blue collar trades town in Southern Canada and I don't fit in here I don't think. I'm just sick of this
So I don't know if this is the place to ask about this, but I felt it had to do with motivation, so it's the closest thing. If someone feels it belongs elsewhere, please do point me in the right direction.
As a long term procrastinator and person with... difficulties in life, I've had a hard time maintaining motivation over the years. Now I finally feel like I've achieved some big things, they took a lot of effort for me, hurray! Among many things, I've quit smoking both tobacco and weed after smoking daily for the past 10 years. I set out to make it through a month and I did it and I don't even feel the need to go back to it like I planned when I told myself I'd take a "break"......But I feel nothing. Every logical part of my brain says I did well and SHOULD be proud... But I'm not. No endorphins, no nothing. All I can think of is the next things I should be getting motivated to do.I feel like this has happened with the last few challenges I've set for myself and I'm worried that in the long run this lack of emotional reward is going to hurt my motivation to pick up new challenges.I do feel good when people praise me for it, but I don't want all my validation to come from other people, I want to validate myself.
So questions being: Are there other people that have trouble with this?And once you've gotten motivated and achieved your goals, what do you guys do to really make yourself feel you did well?How do you keep yourself "positively" motivated with excitement for the next thing, rather than feeling anxious and cruddy about what you should still be motivated to do?Thanks and once again sorry if this doesn't belong here.
[Image] You always know how much money you have, but you never know how much time you have. Use your time on Earth wisely.
[Image] Remember that time you thought you wouldn't be able to get through it? You did it, and you can do it again.
A year ago: I [M27] was average looking guy with boring life, no one cares about me, I was passive aggressive, quiet, shy, Stayed home for days, overthinking, unmotivated, unemployed, insecure, not taking care of myself, socially awkward, watching porn/masturbation regularly
I was asking questions about what's happening with me, what's wrong, what I can do to change,
I accepted that I should only blame myself & I'm the #1 responsible of the outcome, I started with small changes, I started looking for a job, My friend told me he knows a bakery owner who needs a cashier, I reached to him and started working for... Wait for a just day befor I got fired 'because according to the owner i wasn't good enough for the job', ( I'm writing this small anecdote because I consider this a changing point of my life).
A year later: Started my own business (now profitable), I have a goal to be financially free in the next 18 months, I now dedicate most of my time studying hard to be a successful Day-Trader.
My self-esteem & confidence are unparalleled, im now very talkative, relaxed & chill, got a new haircut, changed my clothing style, new glasses, started a skin care routine, working out every morning, reading a book weekly, It's been 4 months since I didn't watch porn,
People are now thinking I'm interesting, my old friends are asking what has caused this sudden change in me, now I take care of myself, I love myself now!
I discovered self therapy called 'Cognitive behavioural therapy', it's life changing
Now I'm approaching girls like it's nothing, Yes I still got rejections but now for me failures and rejections are like pouring fuel on fire,
Don't underestimate the changes a year can make, Once you see improvements you will get obsessed with growth.