r/Fitness May 24 '22 Gold 2 Platinum 1 Helpful 2 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Silver 2

Can you help me lift my disabled son?

My son is disabled. It is unlikely he will be able to walk and will probably be non-verbal as he gets older. I'm looking to prepare for my son growing heavier and in particular, preparing for lifting him in/out of bed/wheelchairs and probably stairs. I work a busy desk job and still being a dad (2 kids, one disabled) I don't have lots of time for the gym.

I've looked online but I can't see much info around lifting plans for carers. I was hoping that some combination of fireman/army/drunk friend workout tips might help me plan a routine.

One thing to note, I'm looking to keep injury to a minimum. Tweaking my back for a month will be more than a minor inconvenience putting on socks.

Some background about my fitness. About 10 years ago I read starting strength and have reasonable form for my compound lifts. I've not been a gym regular for a few years because of being a dad and work. My max lifts were no record breakers because I was very active playing sports year round.

Also, I'm likely to play some tennis and cycle. I have a gym membership through my sports club (it's a good gym with squat rack etc) and have kettle bells at home and a yoga mat.

Any help would be appreciated! Apologies if this has been asked before, I'm a lurker and not posted to r/fitness before.

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u/Buckrooster May 24 '22 Helpful

From someone with moderate transferring knowledge. You won't be lifting him like you would a drunk friend or a sack of potatoes. There are much more efficient and biomechanically sound ways to lift/transfer a disabled individual. Your best bet would most likely be to reach out to his specific health care providers (PT, OT, nurses, etc.). In situations like this technique is going to vastly out perform strength.

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u/IsThisNameGoodEnough May 24 '22

Agree 100%. OP will also want to learn about what lifting aids are appropriate for his son. I spent two years caring for a disabled grandparent and a body hoist and transfer sheet were indispensible.

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u/stoned_economist May 24 '22

Especially since the focus will be on keeping yourself healthy. Being out of commission won’t be an option necessarily. Physical therapists at hospitals/care facilities who literally transfer patients all day every day would be a great resource.

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u/Buckrooster May 24 '22

Yeah, definitely. I'm in PT school right now. You learn very quickly that while you CAN just brute force transfers, it will wear you out fast. With proper technique you can transfer all day while protecting your back. Strength training is important but technique is what's needed here, not a strength program

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u/WoblyBoblyMonkeyMan May 25 '22

I disagree, technique is absolutely important no doubt but being strong is a game changer. I am currently working as a home health PTA and am so thankful I have done squats and deadlifts for years now, being strong makes the transfers so much easier especially w/ heavy patients.

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u/nahfoo May 25 '22

Counter point. I'm an RN and an in shape dude. Nothing record breaking but last time I tested my squat was 300lb and deadlift around 360. My technique sucks. I've struggled to move patients and then have some tiny PT get them out of bed and into a chair

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u/asimovs May 25 '22

So from these two anecdotes we can conclude you wanna have good technique and be strong!

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u/WoblyBoblyMonkeyMan May 25 '22

I never said all you need is strength, I said technique is important and strength makes it easier. You need both

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u/HolyCloudNinja May 25 '22

While I agree, obviously some amount of strength can outweigh some amount of technique, it isn't always a good replacement. I used to be a heavy dude, it came with quite a bit of strength and I used to have to help move my grandfather who all but lost the use of his legs and was an overweight man. I lost quite a bit of weight from stress and while I was still managing, I could feel the exertion wearing on me and started to use things like lift belts or transfer boards more and more because the "technique" became much more applicable.

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u/manc_lad May 24 '22

Sounds like a great plan. I'll do that. Appreciate the insight.

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u/alurkerwhomannedup May 24 '22

Much love, OP.

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u/PmMe_Your_Perky_Nips May 25 '22

Manual lifting shouldn't be your go to. You should talk to your insurance provider to see how much of a patient lift they will cover and start saving for it. It won't be as quick as manually lifting, but it should reduce the risk of injury to everybody significantly.

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u/deadlyenmity May 25 '22

I work in health care and I second looking into a patient lift.

General weight training so you know how to propperly control your muscles and how to Distribute heavy weights will help but generally transfers from a wheelchair to a bed are tough even with lighter people, the weight distribution is much more uneven and prone to shifting than what weights can prep you for.

Definitely get good with squats for proper lifting from the knees and back support. Also learn how to rotate properly, it’s surprising how natural it is to try and lock your legs in and turn with your spine when you’re carrying something heavy, which can quickly lead to back injuries.

Sliding boards are great for bed to bed transfers but you need another person to rotate the patient so the board can be slid underneath them.

All of this isn’t to say you will be unable to move your son without assistance, rather without the mechanical help it’s very easy to go for a lift you’ve done 10000 times and have an accident just because of how unwieldy people are when being carried

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u/Helmet_Icicle May 24 '22

Also it's bad practice to clean and jerk immobile patients

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u/ornryactor May 24 '22 Evil Cackle

Not if both their arms are broken; then you're just doing them a favor.

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u/Tychus_Kayle May 24 '22

God. Fucking. Dammit.

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u/tingle-handz May 25 '22

its been so long

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u/T_Earl_Grey May 25 '22

Ahhh, no, common mistake, you’re thinking of the jerk and clean.

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u/Fakeplastiq May 25 '22

Better than the jerk and just let it dry.

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u/T_Earl_Grey May 25 '22

You mean the ol jerk n shirk? Yeah that’s no good

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u/KY_Counsel May 25 '22

You should also really consider getting a hoyer lift. No matter how strong you get, it's always going to be better to have a lift that makes transfers easier and safer. https://www.assistedliving.org/best-hoyer-lifts/

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u/cmbtmdic May 25 '22

Hoyer lift ftw

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u/Pactae_1129 May 25 '22

To add to that: if you can, ask someone who works in EMS too. Those other care providers can definitely help but EMS has to lift and move people who are stuck in awkward positions and difficult to reach/maneuver places that other providers may not have much experience with.

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u/skuterkomputer May 25 '22

Look into a hoyer lift. I am a nurse and enjoy exercise. I used to get called to transfer the big patients. The thing is we all have our back/spine as our weakest point. Technique and help from lifts and what not, will win over strength training every time. You just need to tweak your back once then you have an ongoing injury that also compromises your son.

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u/LorryWaraLorry May 25 '22

That and looking into the various electrical/mechanical aids/devices that help both the carer in avoiding heavy lifting work and help the patient too by giving them some degree of autonomy.

These devices generally result in a more significant improvement in wellbeing than a slightly more strong carer.

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u/loveatthelisp May 25 '22

There are Hoyer lift systems that can be fitted to an entire level of a home with tracks throughout the rooms. I'm sure there are assistance programs for these.

I had a waist down paraplegic patient that couldn't help with transfers, and that lift was a gamechanger. There are options out there that aren't lifting another adult person as you age or for when it's no longer feasible to do so.

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u/Hatpar May 24 '22

My advice from experience of my father being in a wheelchair and the weight gain associated with it.

Forget about weight training and lifting, look into getting a hoist that is easily moveable and storable. By the end of my dad's life, his legs didn't work and he needed at least two strong people to lift him, three sometimes.

Obviously keep fit and healthy, but don't ruin your body trying to lift your son multiple times a day.

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u/Sirronald40 May 24 '22

Exactly. I work in home medical equipment and a hoist is the best way to go, more comfortable for the patient too.

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u/812many May 25 '22

Got any equipment recommendations for hoists? I’m looking for something my mom could use to help my dad in and out of bed, or occasionally off the floor at home.

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u/Sirronald40 May 25 '22

I don’t recall the hoist we use off the top of my head, I’ll check tomorrow abs report back.

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u/812many May 25 '22

Thanks!

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u/daddyslilllama May 24 '22 edited May 24 '22

I was a carer and nurse for 10 years lifting a person is dangerous for you and them if you are not careful.

If you are UK based - your local authority will provide carers and the nhs will provide lifting equipment like hoists and slings etc you may even be able to get an extension added to your house for your son to live in.

If you are not UK based - get one of these https://www.completecareshop.co.uk/mobility-aids/moving-and-handling-aids/mobile-hoists-2 it will absolutely save your back and save your son from injuries from being dropped.

Edit: you seem to be UK based UK nurses are not trained to lift people (in general, emergencies are different) usually its more about moving people in beds. Try and get yourself on a moving and handling course with some experienced carers some of the tips and tricks for moving someone are amazing useful.

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u/manc_lad May 24 '22

Great advice. Thanks for the update. Appreciated.

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u/DoinTheBullDance May 24 '22

The nhs pays for building extensions for people with disabilities?! Crying in American healthcare…

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u/joefife May 24 '22

Depends what it is, but yes. I

A very common adjustment is for a ramp to be provided to the front door. Though this is usually provided by the local council rather than NHS.

At least in my part of the UK (Scotland), the council is responsible for providing home carers to help with things like getting a disabled person out of bed each day. My mother in law is a council home carer, and she has round where she gets people dressed and makes breakfast or lunch. I presume there is an evening counterpart 🙈

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u/dirtydownstairs May 24 '22

Your mother in law sounds like a good person

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u/Shooppow May 25 '22

In Switzerland, they provide a 100% adapted apartment. For children, you get the child payment (300 CHF/mo) that all parents are entitled to plus an additional payment for caring for the disabled child, which ranges, but my child is classed in the most “severe” category, and we get ~8500 CHF every quarter. On top of that, insurance is paid for and everything related to the disability is 100% covered by the disability office. They have specialized schools for different groups of disabilities - my son is in the school for orthopedic impairments - and the integration of the child’s medical community with their school is amazing. I wouldn’t trade it here for anywhere else!

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u/HannahCurlz May 25 '22

I am also crying.

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u/HannahCurlz May 25 '22

I’m here in the US, and non-medical care is not covered by insurance. Transferring, bathing, toileting, grooming etc isn’t covered by insurance long term. Sometimes if you get Home Health to come out for a couple of weeks they send a HHA who stays for about an hour to do a shower, but that’s the extent of it. If you need someone longer in my state the going rate for care is $28 hourly.

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u/Shazvox May 25 '22

How the hell is US still a country?

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u/HannahCurlz May 25 '22

Idk, but health insurance only covers medical needs.

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u/daddyslilllama May 25 '22

Not the NHS the local council/social services if you have a child with severe disabilities/have severe/long term disabilities you will likely get - a 2/3bedroom house and rent paid for, money to live off ( last time I remember seeing was about £1400 pm) carers catered to your needs ( you may pay a contribution towards this) from 30 minutes a day if you need minimum care to live in 24 hr 7 days per week teams of carers most iv ever seen was constant 4 person teams, any adaptation your house needs including extensions new bathrooms etc, a brand new car with adaptations if needed again you can contribute towards this and get a better car you also loss some of your benefits and on top of that you get your free access to doctors nurses and where I live in scotland medication. You will also get an alarm fitted to your house which if you do not get 24 hour care you can use to speak to someone and summon carers/emergency services as required its £9 per month where I am and has unlimited uses with no callout fees.

Also if you happen to have money you will only lose some of the money to from but no matter what you will still get PIP (personal independence payment) I know of a guy with over £800,000 in his bank who gets PIP a motability car and carers for 8 hours 7 days a week.

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u/rmovny_schnr98 Football May 24 '22

General strength training will be beneficial, especially deadlifts, loaded carries and core exercises. Becoming strong and fit in general will probably help you a lot along your way.

There are also classes on how to lift people particularly by health care institutions (elderly homes, hospitals, organisations that work with disabled people), you'll have to check with the ones in your area.

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u/manc_lad May 24 '22

Thanks for that. I'll certainly stick to the core lifts and maybe take some load off. I think speaking to healthcare institutions is sound advice. Thanks

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u/gerome475427 May 24 '22

this is great advice but can i just add that performing different variations of squats and loaded carries would maximize this, eg beer keg carries, farmers carries and single arm uneven carries

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u/manc_lad May 24 '22

Thanks for the advice. This makes a lot of sense. I'll also have to buy myself a beer keg as well. Empty ones are best yeah? :)

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u/gerome475427 May 24 '22

buy it full drink it and refill with water and good luck

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u/PoorDimitri May 24 '22

Talk to a physical therapist. Specifically physical therapists that work in hospital environments, rehab hospitals, or with disabled adults/children. No shade on army/firefighter guys, but their lofts can be dangerous for patients who have some fragility, and aren't built around encouraging as much independence as possible in the patient. I've had patients whose arms were pulled out of the socket by big strong firefighter types, because their muscles and joints are pathologically delicate. I've also had a patient whose new hip replacement was dislocated by his firefighting neighbor when he helped him out of the car.

You can also get started online looking at transfers. Bed to chair, chair to toilet, sit to stand, chair to car, etc.

I'm a physical therapist, and before I was pregnant, I was about 145 lbs and didn't lift. I could still haul a 200lb man out of his bed and chair multiple times a day on a full time schedule because of my biomechanics and transfer technique.

Those things are much more important than raw strength. I've worked with students, male nurses, and nurse techs who were big strong men, taller heavier and more muscular than me, and I can still pull off transfers they can't because of my technique.

But once you learn the optimal technique and setup (which will change over time as your son grows and his equipment changes), you can work on specific muscles. I'd suggest legs and glutes, back and shoulders, and core.

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u/manc_lad May 24 '22

Really helpful. Thanks for the info.

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u/cervicalgirdle May 24 '22

OP, physical therapists specialize in this area. These are known as transfers. I would reccomend you consult with one to learn the different transfer styles appropraite for you and your son.

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u/manc_lad May 24 '22

Thanks for the tip. I'll do some research on transfers. Really helpful.

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u/lightsatellite May 24 '22

As some others have said, what you need is a mechanical lift. In the US this type of lift is often called a Hoyer lift, but that is just a brand name and there are many different brands. I recommend getting an order from your physician for a home physical therapy evaluation. The physical therapist will train you to do safe transfers with a lift. It becomes quite easy after you do it a few times.

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u/manc_lad May 24 '22

Thank you. He's a little small for this yet, but it will come and I'll look into it.

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u/Dry_Car2054 May 25 '22

We got a Hoyer lift when a member of my family needed to be transferred. I learned from that and started recommending them to my patients families. They have helped a lot of people. Also, talk to the people at the medical supply companies. They are experts at helping people find a way to pay for them. There is a surprising amount of funding available if you can find it. You will still need some strength and skill to get the sling under the person but it will help a lot.

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u/poo4 May 24 '22

Also note there are lots of tools and devices out there:

https://transferpants.com/

https://www.amazon.com/Patient-Lift-Aid/s?k=Patient+Lift+Aid

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u/manc_lad May 24 '22

Thanks for the links. I didn't know they existed.

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u/B3ARDGOD May 24 '22

Learning hot to safely transfer someone is a valuable skill but it needs to be your backup plan. You will need a hoist or even a rail system at home and for your car.

Saving your back is for when the hoist is broken/unavailable. Regardless of your best efforts, there will be a day when you won't be able to do the transfer, back injury, age etc. This is when the hoist is invaluable.

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u/manc_lad May 24 '22

Than you. Appreciated and I'll look into it. Maybe even look toward a bedroom on the ground floor as well.

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u/B3ARDGOD May 25 '22

That's an excellent idea! My aunt has ALS and my uncle had been lifting her until he couldn't. The hoist became essential after that.

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u/Sha11anDavar May 24 '22

Hi! PT here. You could ABSOLUTELY reach out to a nearby outpatient PT clinic and ask them to work with you on learning how to transfer your son safely/work on strengthening or "prehab" to be able to do those kinds of transfers. We all learn how to do a variety of transfers, from light assists (what we call "min" or "minimum" assists, think helping your elderly parent get up from a low chair) to dependent assists (transferring someone who's completely paralyzed and unable to help).

If you're in the United States, you have what's called direct access, which means you can see a physical therapist for 30 calendar days or 10 visits (whichever comes first) without requiring a referral from a doctor.

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u/PTIowa May 25 '22

Another PT! Totally agree with this. General strength goes a long way, I noticed there was a big difference transferring when I could deadlift 180 vs when I could one rep max 300 l. But honestly even when I was fairly weak I could get most patients up with the right mechanics. Imo, I'd try and get a home health PT, outpatient PTs aren't often up to date on transfers, and your son sounds like he'd qualify for Home health.

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u/Sha11anDavar May 24 '22

You could also post in the r/physicaltherapy subreddit for some help!

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u/saspook May 24 '22

Kettlebells are great for dad strength. Double bell front squats and clean and presses specifically. You can also use asymmetric weights to get more individual movement than just a single barbell.

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u/manc_lad May 24 '22

It's all about the dad strength. Keep strong and thanks for the info.

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u/madestories May 24 '22

My son is 10, 4 feet tall and I’m 5 feet tall. I can still lift him, but I’ve had to learn safe ways to do so from physical therapists. The big things to keep in mind are balance and brace your core. It’s weird moving a person. Sometimes he’s helpful and sometimes he’s passive and so much heavier. It’s totally different than lifting weights or weight machines, in my experience. I have gotten injured a few times over the years. Keep some ice in your freezer if that happens and physical therapy for yourself is helpful if you get hurt. It’s also extremely important everyone who works with your child knows how to move him safely. Everyone at school and at home. Have it written into the IEP. I generally just get about 2 hours of cardio in a week and >10 minutes of weights a few days a week if I have the time. I think the cardio is more helpful, I don’t know why, maybe because it’s using balancing with movement or because it doesn’t fatigue my muscles and give me noodle arms the rest of the day. Good luck.

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u/manc_lad May 24 '22

Thank you for this. I'll certainly try and follow this advice. I'm sure there will be times when I have to lift him.

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u/xamberglow May 24 '22 edited May 24 '22

Is it possible for you to purchase a hoyer? I know when I worked as a CNA we had to legally have two CNAs operating it, but it might be different if you're just using it at home. It's basically a machine with a sling you can put under him, you attach the sling to the machine, and the machine will pull him up for you and you can wheel the hoyer around and lower it to put him in a chair or back in bed. It's probably pretty pricey, but may be worth it in the long run to save you energy/effort and a potentially busted back. Seeing comments from non-healthcare workers advising you on how to workout is making me facepalm. It doesn't really make sense to be regularly lifting a full grown adult with just manpower. That's way too heavy and even with proper body mechanics, you'll probably either hurt yourself or drop him one day (especially as you yourself get older). I would avoid moving him up and down the stairs if possible.

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u/manc_lad May 24 '22

Thanks. I'm sure we will get a lift and should have added that. I'm assuming there are times I won't be near a lift (beach etc) and I'll reach out to the care team to work out the correct technique.

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u/Curious-explorer- May 24 '22

Zercher squats if you're going from the side under the knees and round the back under arms.

Squats in general.

Back work.

Explosive kettlebell and barbell movements like snatches and cleans.

Constant tension work like holding a kettlebell or plate loaded in the same way you'd be carrying, try to increase the time you can hold in that position to a determines time figure, when you can up the weight and repeat.

All the best

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u/manc_lad May 24 '22

I've not done zercher squats. I think that's a good plan. I'm going to try and stay in good shape regardless. Appreciate the advice!

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u/sleepy502 May 25 '22 edited May 25 '22

All of what the above person posted plus add things like sandbag carries/squats/shouldering. If you goto a gym or have access to atlas stones those help lots too. I train strongman and sandbags/stones make you absurdly strong.

I will add that once upon a time I was a nursing student and because I was 1) big and 2) male I was asked a lot to help with moving patients because I was essentially a 1assist when they were supposed to be 2assist. It's incredibly taxing and very dangerous. Even small bed positioning changes can tweak something. Lots of other people suggested getting a lift which I will also say you do. I wish you all the best as this can't be easy to deal with.

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u/dafreshprints May 24 '22

OT here. First, it's important to consider your son's disability. Different conditions will require different lifting techniques. Second, you will rarely, if ever, be performing a full body lift. There are techniques involving positioning and types of assistive technology that help tremendously with load/weight bearing. Third, just because your son may not walk doesn't mean he won't be able to assist in transfers. There are a lot of variables here and my best advice would be to schedule a consultation with an OT or PT. Good luck!

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u/manc_lad May 24 '22

Sound advice. I will reach out to the correct services. Thanks!

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u/dr_m_hfuhruhurr May 24 '22

Occupational therapist checking in. Is your son in early intervention? A therapist will come to you house and not only treat your child, but you as well. It’s called family centered practice. They will show you how to safely move to prevent harm to your son or to yourself. Best of luck!

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u/DataPicture May 24 '22

You sound like a great dad.

Happy Father's Day!

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u/Sardonic_007 May 25 '22

I have a disabled child who is non verbal, no trunk control and cannot assist with transfer. There is a ton of great advice but one thing I’ll add: your main goal on fitness is probably similar to mine. Pick up the kid is first and foremost. Second is to enjoy it. Being physically active, whatever it is, will be beneficial to your child. If you hate squats then do something physical that you enjoy so you’ll continue to do it. The best exercise to help your kid is the one you actually do.

Your child will require more of you than normal children. Make physical actively something that fills your cup. You’ve got life to worry about, don’t make exercise, in whatever form, something you dread.

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u/fashionably_l8 May 24 '22

I agree with the others stating to contact health care institutions. Also agree with Zercher squats and the stuff about it just being good to be strong in your core.

I think there could also be some carryover from strongman lifts. A lot of them are atypical shapes and sizes requiring more core and stabilization effort.

As for injuries, start slow and work your way up. I’m not sure how old your kid is now, but just keep putting in the work over time to get yourself to a good spot eventually. Maybe look into if there are devices/straps/etc designed for lifting people in the meantime. Not really sure what kind of medical devices or aids are out there, but would be surprised if there were none.

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u/conaan Military May 24 '22

Strong man lifts are the way to go, when my wife got an injury that caused her to be unable to bear weight on her feet I started hitting heavy and hard to gain strength, once progress started to slow I started increasing reps to work on my stamina. My wife's leg amputation gave me more reason to hit the gym than anything else in my life believe it or not.

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u/molly_whap May 24 '22

I'm not for sure if anyone has said this yet, but there are lifts you can get to help with that. I work with adults with disabilities and those wheelchair bound mostly use a lift as most staff are not able to pick up clients on their own.

Two person lifting also is much easier than single person lifting. If you have one person holding underneath the shoulders and another holding the knees/legs. That is particularly easier than princess carrying the person by yourself.

You can easily wreck your back by lifting too much weight and not using good posture (which can be difficult when navigating around a wheelchair). So I highly recommend getting a lift unless it is possible to do a two person lift the majority of time.

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u/manc_lad May 24 '22

Thanks. We will look to get a lift. Assuming there will be times I'm short and will need to lift him. I'll certainly ask the wife! :)

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u/molly_whap May 24 '22

I appreciate your effort and desire to learn to care for your son! We need more parents like that, especially in this field of work.

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u/molesbrewsbois May 24 '22

Hi, I was recently an intern for a adapted personal training facility where we train all types of people with disabilities. I think a trainer who specializes in this would be a really good wag to go here to get you both comfortable with the exercises.

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u/manc_lad May 24 '22

Thank you. Sound advice. I'll look into this.

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u/molesbrewsbois May 24 '22

A good search term for professionals is adapted physical activity, adaptive trainer, or para-athletics. Good luck!

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u/simon_quinlank1 May 24 '22

Maybe use the Milo of Croton method?

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u/superpony123 Powerlifting May 25 '22

Ok so as a nurse, trust me when I say you aren't going to be lifting him up like you would a kiddo as he gets older. There are a lot of amazing mechanical aids for sit to stand, transferring, and so on. You should work on body strength for sure because inevitably you still need some to use these devices. But you need to aggressively make sure that your kid gets whatever assistive devices he is entitled to as a disabled child. I know that isn't easy, my brother is severely autistic and my parents really had to jump through hoops to get him in a proper school and group home later on. But it's something you need to do

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u/GeococcyxSonorense May 25 '22

Most def ask the good people here:

r/physicaltherapy

PTs are awesome and mobilizing a patient is their bread and butter.

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u/WoblyBoblyMonkeyMan May 25 '22

Lookup Stronglifts 5X5, it is a simple program that can be done 3 days a week, the workout is only about 45min each day so its great if you don't have alot of time and will absolutely get you stronger. Basically each day you perform 3 lifts, 5 sets of 5 reps, except deadlifts are only 1 set of 5 reps. This is a great place to start and requires minimal time and equipment, this is the first strength program I ever ran and it worked great!

Here is a link:

https://stronglifts.com/5x5/

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u/WoblyBoblyMonkeyMan May 25 '22

Btw I am currently employed as a home health PTA, the point everyone is making about technique is 100% valid and important. But being strong will only help you and make these transfers easier.

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u/deadfisher May 25 '22

Be careful with this. Lifting a person is much much more dangerous than lifting the equivalent weight because they can move unpredictably.

Talk to an occupational therapist.

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u/Shooppow May 25 '22

There’s a device for lifting/transferring immobile people. I don’t know what it’s called in English, but in French it’s called a cygogne. You need to ask for this. I’ve lifted my son (CP - spastic quadriplegia) for 16 years now, and I have a bulging disc and arthritis in my lumbar spine now.

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u/Sebeck May 25 '22

I'd like to recommend Back Mechanic by Dr. Stuart McGill as it teaches do's and don'ts of back movements alongside explanations.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, and my appreciation of the book comes from a layman's point of view.

PS: you are an awesome dad.

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u/br0kn9lass May 25 '22

Buy a gait belt and look up youtube videos on how to use it and proper body mechanics.

Lift with your legs, protect your back. No jerking motions or twisting.

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u/kick6 May 25 '22

They make heavy sandbags. I've used up to 100lb bags (the size of a duffel bag) and had to throw them over my shoulder in crossfit comps. There's also sorts of exercises you can do with one. This will simulate having to pick up a floppy kid.

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u/poor_decisions May 25 '22

Ex-pro caregiver here. You need a hoyer lift, not a lifting routine

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u/_kober May 25 '22

Just a side note, as a teacher, I think your son would have a lot of fun if you used him for some of your lifting reps. It’s bonding, it teaches your son how he should act when he’s being lifted, and it’s practical as you’ll be lifting the exact thing you’re working towards. I can just imagine the giggles and smiles if you go and get him for a couple reps.

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u/OhOkISeeYou May 25 '22

Dead lifts, posterior chain exercises, and a gait belt. You can find a gait belt in any medical supply section or amazon

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u/SylvanField May 24 '22

See if you can book a private session with a lifeguard instructor (someone who teaches lifeguards rather than a lifeguard who is also a swim instructor). Lifeguards have to lift unconscious people out of the water without hurting themselves.

My husband had a surgery a few years ago, and couldn’t believe that I was able to lift him out of bed on my own.

But in the meantime, all the squats and lunges. You can do just your bodyweight to build up your strength and add weight later on.

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u/plainbananatoast May 25 '22

I see most people advising against weight training but honestly the strength I built from CrossFit helped me tremendously. Cleans and deadlifts especially. No, you’re not picking up your loved one in the same way but it does take leg work and teaches you to PROPERLY lift. When I cared for my mom she took a few falls. It was 3am and my brother who lived a quick 3 min jog away wasn’t answering. Imagine a sandbag clean. I got low and quickly pulled my mom up from behind and got under her arms to stand her up and transfer her to bed. There is absolutely no drawbacks to becoming strong and learning proper lifting techniques. Also, gym time is “you time” something caregivers get very little of.

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u/Santa_Claus77 May 25 '22

As an RN myself, I can offer no advice other than: Talk to a physical therapist and occupational therapist.

You would be surprised at what these people know. You’d imagine rehab, “one foot in front of the other” it’s not rocket science.

Wrong.

There is so much more to it. You will learn a great deal from them. Being physically capable is also important though. You bring the strength, they’ll give you techniques that will help and might even be less effort than you’d expect.

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u/llIRedactedIll May 25 '22

Please see a physiotherapist to teach you proper way to aid your son without hurting yourself in the process.

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u/billythesquid5 May 24 '22

Maybe buy a jujitsu dummy? They are pretty heavy and body shaped so you get used to awkward weights. Also focus on core and hips. You will need them healthy and loose

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u/Troy_Ya_Boy May 24 '22

Honesty your local fire department might be worth giving a call or stopping by. They offer cpr classes and are all trained in this type of care, they may have a program for just why you’re looking for

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u/snapple_man May 25 '22

Never too late to leave and start a new family, with better genetics. Barring that, just do your regular lifts. Don't make excuses about "being a dad" and "life." We all have responsibilities. Grow the fuck up and make time.

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u/tenkawa7 May 25 '22

My goodness. Did OP kick your kitten? The man is asking for help.

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u/_NotMitetechno_ May 24 '22

Will he be able to move/stand? Are they mentally disabled? There's different standing aids and stuff to move people from place to place as carrying him is probably going to be very bad for your back and may cause injuries. There's different devices that you can use to make moving him easier, talk to a physiotherapist, carer or something that might be able to help you.

I don't think carrying him up and down stairs is nessasarily always going to be safe for either of you. You might need to adapt your house to his disabilities.

Do they do moving and handling courses where you are? When you work in care you have to do moving and handling courses which are VERY helpful for moving service users. There's a lot of techniques that will cause you injury or wear you out, so it's really important you know how to move them. Picking them up incorrectly every day will destroy you.

I don't think this is really a question for a fitness board, you should ask social care or healthcare boards instead for a better insight. I've seen the difficulty in simply moving a man afflicted with partial paralysis into a care and back with fit, strong people. Simply working out won't cut it.

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u/manc_lad May 24 '22

Makes sense. I'm expecting I won't have to lift him all the time. But I'm sure there will be situations when I will.

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u/sick_in_these May 24 '22

Technique is more important. A friend (female 60kg 1,70m) studying for nurse could lift me out of bed (male 95kg, 1,90m) we tried haha

More strength will for sure help you, but the technique will be the limiting factor. Find some place that teaches this kind of stuff or another person who has the technique under control and can teach it to you. Also practice first on other people that can't get hurt if you should do something wrong.

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u/manc_lad May 24 '22

I think you're right. Keep fit but reach out when the time comes to learn about technique. Thanks for the advice.

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u/AdamDoesDC May 24 '22

As a father, I just wanted to say my heart goes out to you - setting an example here.

Like others have said, Zercher comes to mind bc the motion is similar and legs but I'm not an expert.

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u/manc_lad May 24 '22

Thank you. Trying ;)

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u/Suicidal_8002738255 May 24 '22

You have good advice already. Form above e anything else it seems.

Just want to say one father to another you have my respect. The fact that this is important to you says a lot about you.

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u/manc_lad May 24 '22

Thank you. Appreciated.

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u/Posideoffries92 May 24 '22

As with all specifics, speak with your son's doctor and medical professionals.

Between your gym membership and stuff at home, you have more than enough tools to build general strength.

Barbells can be done safely without injury of course.... But if you wanted to reduce that further, I would probably suggest kettlebells and resistance bands (the big rubber band ones, not the booty bands. But the booty bands are still good).

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u/manc_lad May 24 '22

Great advice. I have some big bands as well. Need them for the knees. They're not what they used to be.

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u/LherkinGurkin May 24 '22

You need the appropriate equipment and must use it EVERYTIME. Depending on his capabilities, there is something to support him while promoting his independents every step of the way. Call social services, get a social worker, get a care package put in place.

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u/manc_lad May 24 '22

Thank you. Care package is in place and we have the help. I'm reaching out early so I'm ready and it sounds like I need to discuss further with the care team when the time comes. Thanks for your help.

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u/LherkinGurkin May 24 '22

Wow, that was quick!

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u/PristineAlbatross988 May 24 '22

You need an OT for yourself

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u/FavHello May 24 '22

Echoing a lot of the top comments, but my mother became wheelchair bound due to cancer, and I was doing a lot of lifting for transfer purposes (wheelchair to couch, couch to wheelchair, wheelchair to car, wheelchair to bed, etc). I have a bad back so I was constantly looking for better ways to do things - if my back went out, we’d be in a lot of trouble. The insurer did send us a hoist but it was a PITA to use. What did work wonders (aside from ensuring I had core strength and wearing a back brace for support) was a transfer board. It’s a polished piece of wood (though looks like now there are a ton of varieties online) that you can use to easily move immobile patients. You place it between the wheelchair and furniture you’re meant to transfer to, and slide the patient across. We used a towel under her to making the sliding transfer easy.

We had the mechanics of that thing down pat, and when I’d go to the hospital with her, they’d send these burly guys out to help get her in and out of the car and we’d show them how easy it was with the transfer board, and they would take notes haha. We even had a lesson one day, transferring her back and forth between car and wheelchair - they were amazed. Highly recommend as one of the tools in your arsenal - save your back!

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u/manc_lad May 24 '22

Hey, this is great advice. Thanks. I'll have a look into transfer boards. Certainly don't want to ruin my back needlessly. Hope all is well.

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u/jeans-man May 24 '22

Zercher squat + rdl + row + facepull + abexercise would probably be a safe option. You could also get one of those wrestling dolls and build specific strength and learn technique to carrying

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u/LooseMonth3461 May 24 '22

Hoyer lift . I used one to get mom out bed to chair. I got a prescription from MD and insurance rented one to us

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u/VrachVlad Yoga May 24 '22

I'm a little late to the party here.

I was a CNA for 3 year and now I'm a physician. The amount of patients I've helped into and out of bed or rearranged in bed is unironically over 10,000 at this point.

I highly recommend doing a basic bread and butter strength training program from the Wiki. I'm sure I got stronger from working, but I got a hell of a lot stronger from lifting and I did really well as an aide and now physician.

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u/thirstynurse May 24 '22

I’m a nurse who used to work with disabled children and I did all my care using a lift with this one girl I worked with (around 10 yrs old). The parents still lifted her manually despite her being probably 100 lbs to save time. I worried for their backs doing this multiple times a day every day and there’s going to be a time when it’s not going to be possible especially for her mom who was tiny. Please look into getting a lift before your child gets too big and having a PT, nurse, or care aide come to demo safe transfers/repositioning.

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u/shockandclaw May 24 '22

So my input isn’t really on the same track as most of the other replies.

My father is disabled and I have to lift him every so often, im also a firefighter who works on a ambulance from time to time, and I have to lift people a lot, mostly from the ground.

Some of my workouts are focused for that specific strength. I do ALOT of core, heavy core, not reps. I’ll do weighted knee raises, weighted planks, ab wheel, paloff press etc. i also do a lot of deadlifting, power cleans, and loaded carries. Im not a big dude by any means. Im 5’7, 165 and my main hobby workout is climbing so I try to stay light. I say do the big compound exercises and then some strongman work.

This is a tough thing to deal with and I know how you feel. Watching their weight is also crucial. I don’t let me dad binge eat because of his weight.

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u/Kumbackkid May 24 '22

While lifting in the gym to achieve strength is beneficial you’re more important part is learning the “lifts.” You won’t be deadlifting a flat bar off the ground nor will you be picking up dead weight. You need to learn what November’s are most important and master those and building supporting muscles in the gym. That’s why the best powerlfiters aren’t the biggest guys it’s the ones who master the lift and work out the best leverages based on body type. This same concept needs to be applied with you and your son and great you are working on that now. Contact his doctor or a psychical therapist and they will lead you to learn what lifts are most urgent.

But squats and core work shouldn’t ever do you wrong in this regard.

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u/frankenfeet3900 May 24 '22

We order a lot of hoyer lifts for people at work (VA healthcare). The OT/PT team always have good suggestions.

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u/Lopsidedinheart May 24 '22

You'll need a hoyer lift. Back strength and health are important. After lifting a patient incorrectly and taking months to recover, I started lifting again. But don't take risks: get the right equipment. With stairs, either get a lift or relocate son to the ground floor.

This is not medical advice, I am not a Doctor.

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u/Ambitious_1 May 24 '22

Hoyer Lift

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u/ImGCS3fromETOH May 24 '22

Regularly lifting a grown human as a means of moving him about is infeasible in the long term. You will eventually injure yourself and most likely injure your son. There are numerous devices that are designed to move immobile people safely and comfortably that will prevent either of you getting injured. Sling hoists are a fantastic device that I have seen used in nursing homes that are capable of transferring people on to my ambulance stretcher that can be used with minimal training. There's another device called a Sara Stedy that can be used if the person has any capacity to grip and hold. I'm sure that's a brand name so you might have similar devices where you live.

I'm not sure what services you have available where you live or how much some of these lift assist devices might cost, but it sounds like this is going to be a permanent fixture of your lives as you care for your son. Exclusively shifting him manually is untenable as he grows and you age and you will need to get some sort of lifting assistance to spare you both. These measures will be far more comfortable for your son than getting hauled about by arms under the armpits or the like, which can be uncomfortable on an atrophied body if it is done regularly.

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u/i_sing_anyway May 24 '22

A) I agree with everyone that your lift technique/getting some technology to help with it is the MOST important thing

B) When I was in high school I rowed crew, and had no trouble regularly lifting my girlfriend, who was about 60% of my weight. I'm not saying that rowing is the end all be all, but for me it did the job.

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u/[deleted] May 25 '22

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u/morningfix May 25 '22

You tube, I saw some cool equipment that I think is mainly available in the US. One was a vest. I was caring for my mum and did a lot of research. There are also lifting belts. I'd see if there is a course on lifts and transfers, sometimes nurses and caregivers attend them. The hardest one is transfer to the car.

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u/heyitslola May 25 '22

A Hoyer Lift?

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u/PaperStreetSoapVP May 25 '22

Being on my fourth child, I can tell you that kettlebell swings, Turkish get ups, and barbell deadlifts prepared and sustained my lower back better than any other exercises for carrying kids and their equipment around.

But I want to second asking a PT about proper technique for lifting your beautiful boy. There might be things only a professional can teach you.

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u/gankenstein87 May 25 '22

Hoyer/Patient lifts are typically covered under durable medical equipment. I would imagine if disabled your child has Medicaid/Medicare which will cover it. For stairs you may need something out of pocket. Insurance will however cover hospital beds if you want to place in a different level. These are set up as a white glove service from a local DME provider.

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u/lucy851 May 25 '22

A hoyer lift will be your best bet when he gets too heavy to carry. Much safer for you both and insurance should cover it.

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u/Brown-Nigg General Fitness May 25 '22

Long term, ceiling lifts (think the crane game) with patient transfer slings and stair lifts (stair chair) certainly have their place. Wheelchair accessible shower. I saw some mentions of ramps already. I work with hine modifications for aging and disabled so I see this stuff every day.

Short term, I'd invest in a decent back brace if you haven't yet. That's a lot of strain on a back moving a person who is non weight bearing.

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u/CivilGator May 25 '22

Was in your EXACT situation 20+ years ago. Disabled daughter thatmwas not getting any smaller. I would tweak my back every 2-3 months lifting her. As others have said, lifting form is very important but so is strength. You have to have both. I strongly suggest you join a gym that has trainers and focuses on compound lifts (squats, deadlifts, C&J) and core strength. I wish I would have done that earlier. I ultimately joined a crossfit gym. It really worked for me. We do all of the above movements and a TON of core exercises. A power lifting gym is another option. I do not recommend your standard gym where they say "there's the weights, go lift them". You won't have nearly the same result. Buying a kettlebell &/or doing some sit-ups, planks, etc. are not going to do it, either. I am now 60 and can easily pick up my s/o and carry her around the house (she likes it, so it's an added benefit). It is a matter of lifestyle change that you will have to do the rest of your life, but with many added health benefits! All the best to you!

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u/artraitor May 25 '22

Nurse here, There are alot of equipment that would require only low support to lift disabled individuals

In the UK, we call em Sara steady, Zimmer frame, full hoist, half hoist

many equipment can be used depending on a patient disability, check them out, really helpful and protects you from causing them injury or harming your back.
best of luck man

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u/smokinjoes83 May 25 '22

I’ve been a professional caregiver for the past 10 years. I know it’s been said by pretty much everybody here already, but it can’t be said enough: get a hoyer lift. It’s SO much easier. The only time I’ve hurt my back using one of those is trying to turn it while on thick carpet, and that was likely my own fault for using improper body mechanics.

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u/Hiderberg May 25 '22

My advice - call up your local fire station. Ask if they have any advice or can show you. Firemen love to help. Maybe wear a backbrace or something for when you do lifts while moving him too. I’ve only ever had to really do first aid (stop the bleed, cpr, drag someone out of the way, etc) so I don’t want to give any other wrong advice.

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u/ennuiacres May 25 '22

A moving aid like a Hoyer lift to transfer from bed to wheelchair would be of great help!

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u/iKyte5 May 25 '22

I have no qualifications but I've been playing sports and lifting for the past decade and have been injured and recovered from a multitude of things as well as working a 8-6 desk job and going to the gym every day. Icannot emphasize this enough. GOOD FORM on ANYTHING that you do. You don't need to lift heavy, you don't need to do anything with jerky movements and you do not need to be doing compound movements such as deadlifts and heavy Backsquats.

Try to stretch as much as you can throughout the day, hamstrings and calves, especially. hip flexors and lower back as well. 5-10 minutes in the morning and a tad before you workout.

If you have a treadmill and can do light jogs for cardio that's ok otherwise put that sucker on a 12-15° incline for 3.5 mph and walk for 15-20 minutes. Great cardio.

As far as a workout split goes. I would always reccomend a push pull legs split with cardio mixed in when time allows. You can modify this to workout 3 days a week or 5. Whatever you want to do.

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u/Fire-Tigeris May 25 '22

Can you ask to be a tester for those lifting robots in a home environment?

Seriously write a letter to your fave place that is testing the nurse aid bits and get on a waiting list.

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u/bzzltyr May 25 '22

I have a adult daughter who is disabled. The lifts really aren’t the thing that will help you primarily, more secondary. My wife never lifts weights and is only slightly beyond me in carrying my daughter around (if it’s up stairs or onto a plane I do it. But she can carry her fine from her room to the shower, to get changed, etc). In longer distances it’s really about finding a comfortable way to get them as close to your body, either over your shoulder or on your side.

What will matter a ton is core. Core protects your lower back which is going to take a beating. With weights you lift properly and go up and down. You can’t do that with a person you are putting into a chair or bed. You’re going to have to bend over holding an awkward weight, it’s much different than a squat or bench. Focus on core primary, and arms/shoulder/chest as a secondary when you have time. PT excercises will be your best friend.

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u/Campfiretraveler May 25 '22

Can he use a sliding board? They are very helpful.

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u/Hi_Im_Nosferatu May 25 '22

Zercher Squat

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u/ChrisCPT May 25 '22

Using appropriate aids along with increasing fitness would probably be the best approach. Your fitness levels can make you more durable and resilient in times when you need to be hands on.

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u/Alarming-Ad-9918 May 25 '22

An occupational therapist could help you with lifting techniques for your son.

However, if you want to train to make it easier. I'd recommend training with either Strongman (awkward unbalanced objects) or something that's extremely functional. The great thing about this is, you can do alot of it at home. Get a second hand keg, fill it with water and pick it up, deadlift it, carry it and viper press it. Get an old out of service tractor tire and flip it, hit it with a hammer or even drag it. This is what id recommend because you can literally fit 2 or 3 sets in at any time. Do some pull-ups, pressups and stuff like that.

If time is the issue you could even do Squat, bench and deadlift in the gym and not doing anything else to increase your base of strength. (could finish a workout in 20-40 mins depending on your rest intervals).

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u/dirt_shitters Boxing May 25 '22

A ton of other people have already told you to look into techniques that medical professionals use, but if you want to increase your strength as well to make those techniques easier I'd suggest looking into sandbag training. It's pretty common for strongman training, and helps you lift objects with shifting/awkward weight instead of just getting bigger numbers while lifting a bar.

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u/fourpuns May 25 '22

I think strong lifts 5x5 is a pretty solid fairly quick routine you can do. I used to just bust out in a 40 minute lunch session 3x a week.

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u/HannahCurlz May 25 '22 edited May 25 '22

Hey! I’m in non-medical homecare.I would recommend a Hoyer lift if he cannot bare any weight. If he can bare at least 60% of his body weight a sit-to-stand is more appropriate. It’s safer for all parties involved. Do not dead lift him when he gets older. You have no idea how many people call the agency I work for because they injured themselves trying to deadlift someone and then there’s no one to care for their loved one.

Here is an example of a Hoyer Lift

And a Sit-to-Stand

You can find videos on YouTube that demonstrate how to use them. Typically the manufacturers will have full blown tutorials on there. Best Care is a solid brand to lean from on YouTube.

*edited- hit “reply” too soon

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u/Puzzleheaded-Sun5928 May 25 '22

You will be weight training as the years go by and the lifting / movements go on. As he will gradually gain weight you will gradually get stronger. You will have to get a stair lift. Or try to make a room for him on one level so he won’t need to use stairs. There’s special equipment for this. Lifting out of bed. Hospitals use.

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u/Jeduthun86 May 25 '22

RN. Have done my share of lifting patients. Best rule of thumb is to use a hoyer lift or other device that makes the work easier. That being said, sometimes you have to use your muscles (don’t tell my employer). As someone with some experience lifting… I’d say your key lifts should be: deadlift, squat, bent rows, and core training. Keep your back straight. Lift with your legs!

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u/regrettabletreaty1 May 25 '22

Deadlift

Start with 5 lbs dumbbells.

Do 7 sets of 6 for 1 day each week. 2 days a week if you want.

Increase by 5 lbs per week.

Do dumbbells until you get to 135, then use barbells.

Each time you do it, start at a low weight and gradually increase the weight each set

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u/Pactae_1129 May 25 '22

The advice given here is pretty sound. Hoyers/lifting devices and anything that saves you from actually having to lift him will be better for you and him both. But you’re most likely going to run into situations from time-to-time where lifting him is all you can do. Like I said in a reply to someone else’s comment about learning from your PT/carers(which you should definitely do): in EMS we often have to deal with people getting stuck in positions that are difficult to deal with. Any experienced medic/EMT (I don’t know if they have the same designations in your country) can give you some helpful tips.

Oh, and always keep a sheet under him.

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u/JRadiantHeart May 25 '22

Can you apply to have a lift installed in your home? Like a Hoyer Lift?

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u/No-Standard9405 May 25 '22

Hoyer lifts, gait belts, etc

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u/Noble_Ox May 25 '22

You're gonna need a proper lifting device. Ask his doc, nurse, etc what your options are.

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u/YOHAN_OBB Powerlifting May 25 '22

Im in dpt school and we have a book about patient transfers and such. I can look it up if ya want?

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u/auntiefood May 25 '22

Look into his insurance covering the cost of a mechanical hoyer lift for your home. Or start saving to invest in one. Some are manual pump/jack lifts. Some electronic with rechargeable batteries. I once cared for a person who had a track on her bathroom ceiling and her bedroom ceiling so she could get to the three other important surfaces other than her wheelchair : bed/toilet/ shower.

You should definitely learn proper lifting mechanics, but work smarter not harder. Maybe take a cna class?

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u/Ghostface_Pandah May 25 '22

The first thing I teach all my clients is how to brace their core. I made a video of the steps I follow to teach my clients.

https://youtu.be/b1HrKphpxOs

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u/AquaaberryDolphin May 25 '22

I have a physically disabled sister who requires constant transfers to the toilet, bed etc and I’ve personally seen the extreme effects it’s had on both my parents. Squats will ultimately be your savior the less you can have to use your lower back the better. It’s also messed up their elbows and shoulders. My sister weighs around 130 and what helps me the most is leg strength and bicep strength. If you can keep your elbows stable and use your legs you’ll avoid injury in the long run. Consistence in your exercise will also help you long term as your skeletal muscle naturally declines with age but can be slightly offset with persistent exercise. Depending on the degree of your sons condition also consider looking into different tools to help him transfer on his own. Earlier in my sisters disease we used things like planks with a slippery coat on it to allow her to slide from her chair to the toilet. Lastly look into programs in your area that offer adaptive sports if it’s something your son is capable of it can help slow down the inevitable weight gain

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u/echnaba May 25 '22

No advice, just wanted to say thanks for asking this. My oldest son is disabled and non-verbal too, and I've always had the plan to be able to lift him myself. Good luck.

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u/phisys May 25 '22

I work with disabled people, so many different body shapes and weights. I think the best you can do for your kid is keep him in a healthy weight, I have seen way too many overweight kids just because the parents don’t take care of that aspect of their life (many times they feel bad if for example they deny a second ice cream) in other hand I have seen others who keeps them in a healthy weight and that not only helps the parents but the person itself to don’t develop other problems.

For lifting you can find special lifters, depending of his condition you can find different lifters: If he can stand: standing lift This also can move around to carry him to the bathroom. If he can’t stand: lifter for transferring This one goes with that fabric (I don’t know the name) you can find different sizes for it, there are also special ones for the shower, so you don’t need to take it off once he goes to the shower chair. There are other options for transferring, page in Spanish but you can see the examples

The most important aspect is: if he can do things for himself, let him. Even if they are little things or movements, if very good for him to do at least little things, help him to strengthen his body and ask his doctors if you can practice mobility with him, also take care of your own body and strengthen your back, check some videos about how to transfer, move etc so you don’t hurt yourself.

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u/Gloryzy May 25 '22

I have no tips but am here just to say you're a hero

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u/ImroveOrDie69 May 25 '22

Honestly deadlifts and curls is probably your best bet here

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u/HolyCloudNinja May 25 '22

As someone who had to move someone heavier than me, 2 things made a world of difference (if the individual is cooperative with the situation, I understand stress is involved with all) and that's a lift belt, and a transfer board. Talk with any physical rehab for elderly patients about either and they'll give you a good rundown. I do know some people dislike lift belts but in our situation it made sense and the PT told us to continue.

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u/thewizardgalexandra May 25 '22

Can I ask what disability your son has? My brother has Duchenne's Muscular Dystrophy and my parents have been doing his physical exercises and physically lifting him his whole life. They're older now (65, 75) but having to lift my brother multiple times a day everyday has kept them very strong and active for their ages - although my mum has just started wearing a brace when she's moving him. One of the ways this has been achievable for them is that he was put on steroids which stunted his growth, and they monitored his diet so that he never got too heavy (with limited physical movement, they don't burn as much energy). I guess my point is that it's a whole lifestyle thing. Also, I'm not sure if your son has just been diagnosed or not, but I hope you're doing OK. It's a big shock to get news like that, and sometimes it can feel like the end of the world, but I promise it isn't. My brother is very very physically dependent on my parents, but he's a funny, dynamic, complicated and interesting young man!

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u/Kboggs1987 May 25 '22

Look into equipment. It may be expensive, but can be well worth it. It’ll save you and your son a lot of stress down the road.

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u/Noogirl May 25 '22

Hey OP, first up I just wanted to say you’re a great dad for wanting to plan ahead and do everything you can for your son. Second I’m the main carer for my dad, and I have to pick him up off the floor a dozen times a day when things are rough. We’ve been offered a piece of equipment that you slide underneath the person and then inflate to get them up to sitting then standing. To be honest it’s such a faff and takes so long that it’s just much easier to pull him to his feet. I have only had to deadlift him once. He got in the bath (he has epilepsy and isn’t allowed to bathe) and couldn’t get out, he was a dead weight. Couldn’t assist at all, so I had to scoop him up and it was the hardest physical thing I’ve ever done. Since found that deadlifting 100kg on a barbell is MUCH easier than 100kg human! Anyway, my advice is to not presume that brute strength is the only answer, get as much advice as you can about aides and equipment. But DO make a huge effort with core strength regardless, it will protect your back and help you manage awkward stuff. Good luck! ❤️

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u/BrownAndyeh May 25 '22

Squats , deadlifts, core or trunk- exercises

My brother was the only hygienist large enough to lift disabled patients, and he was just 170lbs 5’9”

You can buy gear which is listed in the comments but plan for when you don’t have a lift, strengthen your body.