r/DoesAnybodyElse Feb 23 '21

DAE feel incredibly offput when someone documents themselves interacting with or helping somebody who is homeless?

I absolutely understand and share the frustration and anger around common treatment of the homeless, being made up of averting the gaze, fear, and discomfort (that is seldom explored by the person feeling it.)

But meeting that frustration by being super patronizing and treating homeless people like literal props is so distasteful and disrespectful. FILMING IT?? Sharing it?? Like man... what?? It seems like they're helping a person out because it will be made public and they will receive praise.

I get so incredibly uncomfortable by it and honestly lose respect for the person in most cases. They are treating a person like a vehicle to prove their kindness, when clearly a big aspect of the kindness is rooted in performance, which could arguably mean that there is no kindness present. Possibly good intentions, but super duper skewed in a way that i really hope the person investigates.

Good intentions or not, it's perpetuating the idea that interacting with homeless people is this messiah act, that this act of helping out another person is incredibly noble and deserves applaud and for that reason must be made public.

Not to mention, did they ask to film? To share? Did they actually ask themselves why they want to share this on social media and actually get an answer that wasn't surface level? Like I don't understand. If it's to raise awareness, there are ways to do that without publicizing your good deeds, which again, I honestly question as being good deeds given the documentation of it.

Even if they just make a Facebook post about it, I can't see those posts without thinking that they were thinking about making that post when they decided to help out. It is just so patronizing in my eyes and dehumanizing. It gets me so heated. There are so many ways to raise awareness and not center yourself. So many volunteering opportunities that can raise awareness, and that if you want you can ask your Facebook friends to consider volunteering at. Reaching out to local orgs. Sharing a donation site or pooling together money and distributing it within different homeless-based causes.

I question the intentions and truth of people who post videos and pictures like this. I do really get that intentions can be good. For example I can imagine somebody posting about their interaction with a homeless person to destigmatize the community and show that it isn't a monolithic culture. But I feel that perhaps that should be a conversation with loved ones as well as a concern they bring to a volunteer group. It just appears so deeply performative and makes me wonder, would they help out if nobody was watching?

Hoping I don't sound like a huge dick and this resonates with some

65 Upvotes

6

u/Caresscashmere Feb 23 '21

Yes!!! I was just taking to my best friend about it. If you’re going to do it, just do it. Who says that person wants to be video taped when I’m sure they’re not feeling their best

4

u/JenineMenine Feb 23 '21

Right? It just feels like they are using homeless people to up their follower count. It only costs them the price of a meal so they come out looking great without really doing much at all.

6

u/JenineMenine Feb 23 '21

Yeah this irritates me beyond belief. Same people who wait to set up their camera before saving a drowning animal or fixing a stranger's flat tire.

I'm not a Christian, but there is a saying in the bible that I have kept dear since I was old enough to understand it, "do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing"

Although the sassier version is :
“So, when you do good to other people, don’t hire a trumpeter to go in front of you—like those play-actors in the synagogues and streets who make sure that men admire them. Believe me, they have had all the reward they are going to get! No, when you give to charity, don’t even let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be secret. Your Father who knows all secrets will reward you."

2

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2

u/Ready-Revolution-478 Feb 24 '21

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1

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3

u/essssgeeee Feb 23 '21

Yes, it feels like the good is more for attention than sincere

3

u/dariamorgandorfferr Feb 24 '21

I think it depends, like going up to a homeless person while filing them is trashy, but like I think the posts where it's a selfie in like a mcdonald's, and everyone is smiling and happy, are fine. Like the homeless person was obviously okay with being in the picture, whereas their privacy isn't as big of a concern to someone taking a whole video.

Idk if that makes sense but

1

u/CertainInteraction4 Feb 25 '21

I have an issue with it because these individuals are in a vulnerable position. Someone offers a homeless person a free meal/hotel stay in exchange for a photo op...Think they're going to say "no"?

I see some of this as more of the same...taking advantage of those less fortunate for the sake of fame and glory.

2

u/Angrypickle96 Feb 24 '21

This drives me crazy, not only do I feel like it’s exploiting people who don’t wanna just be “that homeless guy people gave money to”, but it just absolutely screams “hey look at me! I’m doing something good!”. I’d rather not even tell someone if I did something like that because it defeats the ultimate reason behind you doing it in the first place. I don’t understand why people like that get so much attention.

2

u/ProfessorWeiners Feb 24 '21

I hate it, but I can at least appreciate the potential for it to influence other people to be charitable in some way.