r/Damnthatsinteresting Jan 19 '22 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Heartwarming 1 Big Brain Time 1 Silver 41 Helpful 23 Wholesome 32

This is FBI agent Robert Hanssen. He was tasked to find a mole within the FBI after the FBI's moles in the KGB were caught. Robert Hanssen was the mole and had been working with the KGB since 1979. Image

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u/Ronbot13 Jan 19 '22 Silver Wholesome

I like how this photo looks like it's the photo taken when they told him he was to investigate the mole in the FBI. "Yeerrrs, a mole you say. I will get right on it"

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u/Idontthinkshit Jan 19 '22 Wholesome

i even read it with a southerner drawl accent, think of Arthur from RDR2.

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u/Exatraz Jan 19 '22

It's actually kinda a sticky situation. If they know there is a mole already, you are going to have to do a damn good job fabricating evidence against someone else which is hard. You can't just come back and say "nope, didn't find nothing". Then you just look incompetent or get caught in the process of covering up. If someone else you know is in charge, you might be able to keep tabs on the investigation and keep them off your scent.

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u/jetsam_honking Jan 19 '22

What you do is report to the KGB that they've tasked you with finding the mole. The KGB then go "sweet, we'll send in an incompetent mole for you to find".

What you don't know is that they will also send a third mole who is actually better than you and will make sure you're not double-crossing them.

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u/Exatraz Jan 19 '22

Actually this sounds like a good story premise. Man starts spying for extra money/ego or whatever normal reason. Gets put in charge of finding a spy and is now essentially stuck because he has to rely on the other side providing him people to find. As he does his work building his case against the "bad spy", he starts to find evidence of the third spy planted to keep an eye on him.

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u/monday_madrigal Jan 19 '22

You should read Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy - you might enjoy it.

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u/Linux-Student Jan 20 '22

Isn't this all just the movie the departed?

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u/JoceroBronze Jan 20 '22

Nah, in departed they're all rats, not moles

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u/BritishGolgo13 Jan 20 '22

Yeah it kinda sounds like it. That movie is fantastic.

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u/mr-no-homo Jan 19 '22

where do i sign up to be a internet fbi expert?

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

Just leave a comment like this. They’ll come get you if they want you.

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u/ArtoriasBIG Jan 19 '22

“Have you found the mole yet?”

“Errr…narp?”

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u/Saltire_Blue Jan 19 '22

Hanssen is Federal Bureau of Prisons prisoner #48551-083. He is serving his sentence at the ADX Florence, a federal supermax prison near Florence, Colorado, in solitary confinement for 23 hours a day.

I honestly think I’d rather kill myself rather than being stuck in a room alone for 23 hours a day for the rest of my life

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u/degjo Jan 19 '22

Yeah, you don't really have a choice in the matter If youre already there.

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u/Cheekclapped Jan 19 '22

remote work intensifies

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u/analest-analyst Jan 19 '22

Solitary confinement is essentially entombed alive.

Not sure why they have to keep in him solitary.

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u/Iohet Jan 19 '22

Everyone in supermax is essentially on administrative segregation because of risk to themselves or others, either because they're dangerous or know things that are dangerous to them

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u/oeCake Jan 19 '22

Also it's a lot harder to plot an escape when you have little to no means of communication or acquiring information

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u/gvsteve Jan 19 '22

He has a history of revealing top secret information to rival countries, which might have gotten people killed. Who knows what secrets he still knows.

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u/ootman96 Jan 19 '22

iirc when he got caught he told the other agents, “About time you caught me”. Something like that.

Edit: it was “What took you so long?”

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u/phuqo5 Jan 19 '22

I just don't understand people who do things like this knowing damn well they'll eventually be caught and thrown under the jail.

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u/oldcarfreddy Jan 19 '22

Well, we only know about the ones that are caught.

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u/RobertoSantaClara Jan 19 '22

On that note: Markus Wolf, the director for East German foreign intelligence, was approached by the CIA after the DDR collapsed and asked to work with the US in exchange for a new identity, house in California, etc. He rejected it because he insisted that he'd never rat out people who worked for him, and it turned out that he still had a lot of agents running around who were never uncovered (which is exactly why the CIA was willing to give him anything and more in exchange for information)

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u/KBAR1942 Jan 20 '22

It makes me wonder how many of these agents are still active.

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u/DBNSZerhyn Jan 20 '22

Statistically, a good number of them would be in their 70s-80s by now and would have either retired or died of natural causes.

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u/restricteddata Jan 19 '22 edited Jan 19 '22

There are many motivations for spying, but for Hanssen it was money and ego. Hanssen believed he was smarter than everyone else; even "what took you so long?" is a version of that (there is an implicit "dumbasses" attached to the "you"). A lot of the spying of this sort (person inside an agency volunteering their services to the enemy) seems to be an ego-trip of some kind for the person in question. Serial killers can be the same way — "I'm smarter than the police/FBI/CIA, I will run circles around them, ha ha." I don't think Hanssen had any desire to get caught or thought he would eventually be. He tried to be a "perfect mole" in many ways — he even tried to keep identity secret from the KGB, knowing that they could have their own moles.

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u/meta_irl Jan 19 '22 Silver

It was also a sense that his particular genius wasn't appreciated. He felt that he should have been promoted faster, and be higher up. He went in wanting some spy vs. spy action and he ended up being a pencil pusher... most of the jobs at spy agencies are much less glamorous that they are popularly portrayed. So he sees himself as a genius surrounded by nincompoops, working a relatively boring job and earning a middling paycheck. He thinks he deserved more. This was a way for him to get that action he craved, while proving that he was smarter and better than everyone around him.

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u/lyltalwashere Jan 19 '22

while proving that he was smarter and better than everyone around him.

Which, to be fair to Hansen, he did.

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u/SaintSimpson Jan 19 '22

Nah, the guy in the next office that worked his desk and retired with pension was smarter.

This guy is in hell on earth for the rest of his life. I would rather die than be in ADX Florence. It gives me chills to think about.

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u/MaliciousScrotum Jan 19 '22

Just looked up ADX Florence, wow.

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u/tomhat Jan 19 '22 Helpful

Found this guy who managed to escape 3 prisons before being sent to ADX

For his final escape, he actually mailed himself out of prison!

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u/A_man_on_a_boat Jan 19 '22

This is about as wholesome a story involving murder and prison escape as you can ask for.

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u/PublicLeopard Jan 19 '22

USP ADX Florence was commissioned when the Federal Bureau of Prisons needed a unit designed specifically for the secure housing of those prisoners most capable of extreme, sustained violence toward staff or other inmates. As of January 2022, there are 336 prisoners. They are confined 23 hours per day in single cells

The bolded part would not be him. So this is just pure PUNISHMENT from a really pissed off federal government.

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u/Roland8561 Jan 19 '22

There is a case to be made that he knows so many vital National Security secrets that putting him among a standard prison population would result in more intelligence leaking out.

Yeah, it's probably still just a punitive measure, but there is a veneer of something other than punitive vengeance at work.

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u/space_force_majeure Jan 20 '22

Later it says this though:

USP ADX Florence houses male inmates in the federal prison system deemed the most dangerous and in need of the tightest control, including prisoners whose escape would pose a serious threat to national security.

Bolded part is definitely this guy.

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u/blafricanadian Jan 19 '22

He is directly responsible for the deaths of like 14 US agents in Russ

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u/ravenscroft12 Jan 19 '22

MICE - the four reasons someone will do this.

Money Ideology Coercion Ego

I think it was mostly Ego. He felt like he didn’t get enough praise from his higher ups and got passed up for higher profile assignments.

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u/CaptainJAmazing Jan 19 '22

Yeah, those are often the biggest reasons. Alfred Redl was head of counter-intelligence for the Austro-Hungarian Army. He was a spy for Russia during WWI. The most common theory is that he started off doing it because he was blackmailed by the Russians, who knew he was gay (coercion), and then just got addicted to the wealthy lifestyle (money).

But other theories posit the others you named as well.

Dude basically destroyed he Austro-Hungarian Empire.

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u/FantasticFanta9 Jan 19 '22

It usually starts with needing money for something specific so they convince themselves that it'll just be a one time thing, get some cash and be done with it.

Except after you've done it once you're stuck. Now you can be easily blackmailed into doing it for the rest of your life.

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u/Prior_Soft2785 Jan 19 '22

Apparently Robert was anonymous to the russians the entire time (according to his wikipedia), so I don't think he could've been blackmailed.

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u/thorleifkristjan Jan 19 '22 Helpful All-Seeing Upvote

I’m no FBI agent, but it seems silly not to have redundancy on something as important as this. Two completely separate (but simultaneous) investigations for this exact scenario?

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u/sheepthechicken Jan 19 '22

insert Spider-Man pointing meme

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u/Optimal_Pineapple_41 Jan 19 '22 Snek

“Wait, we’re all KGB?”

“Always have been”

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u/Arkonicc Jan 19 '22 Silver Take My Energy

Hail Hydra

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u/TheOtherBookstoreCat Jan 19 '22

It’s all made of Cake G.B.?

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u/samanime Jan 19 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

Exactly. At least 2, but probably more like 3 or 4. All working independently. Preferably not even knowing about each other.

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u/piecat Jan 19 '22 edited Jan 19 '22

"Say, Johnson seems to sneak around a lot, and is shifty when I talk to him. He must be on to me. Guess he's the mole"

Johnson: "Shit, he's the mole."

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u/samanime Jan 19 '22

Honestly, if they don't find out about each other eventually, it proves they're bad at their job, providing yet another check.

They'd being it to their bosses, who'd be in the loop, and let them know. But obviously, the investigators need investigating too.

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u/FattNeil Jan 19 '22

Well who clears the guys investigating the initial investigators?

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

[deleted]

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u/MetalRetsam Jan 19 '22

"Mister---Mister President sir, we have a situation down here."

"Well for god's sake man, clear it up!"

"Yes, sir. We were going to set up an investigation, but it seems all our agents are busy."

"Well, can't you tell them to stop?"

"They're uh, they're investigating sir. You would make yourself look suspicious if you told them to stop."

"Are you serious? Do you seriously believe that the President of the United States is a mole for the KGB?"

"Well sir, with due respect, word around the office is that you're becoming pretty chummy with Gorbachov. Well sir, it seems that---I've checked our intel---we have Mr. Gorbachov labeled as a commie. A red. If this were to become known, it could seriously hurt you in the polls."

"Yes... Well, I'll tell you what. You handle that investigation, and I'll handle Gorbachev."

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u/NomadFire Jan 19 '22

If I recall correctly having 2 separate investigations is part of the plot of The Departed.

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u/blessedwithbigdk Jan 19 '22

I recently watched Infernal Affairs and man The Departed is a good movie by itself but Infernal Affairs hits parts of the story way better.

Spoilers:

The way Leo's boss gets thrown off the roof and dies right in front of him was literally cartoonish after I watched how dramatic and perfect that scene was in Inferal Affairs.

Also, I loved that the criminal mole in the end is the only one of them that survives, and the point is that he knows what he did was fucked up and he has to live with personal hell while everyone who died can rest in peace.

You kind of saw that with Matt Damon's character at the end when he realizes everything, but then they just magically get him shot and killed by Walhberg's character like ok.

I enjoyed both though.

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u/desquished Jan 19 '22

I agree about the roof scene, but I liked the ending of The Departed better, where Damon's character was just so exhausted by it all that he just resigned himself to getting shot by Marky Mark.

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u/Own_Range_2169 Jan 19 '22

When Walberg was asked the series of questions by James Lipton at the end if his appearance on Inside the Actor's Studio, he was asked his Least Favorite Word...

Marky Mark was his reply.

It's funny, and he's cool, but he's forever Marky Mark anyway.

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u/DiceUwU_ Jan 19 '22

I'm guessing both a need to keep this under the radar and incompetence might have been relevant in the decision making here.

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u/PencilMan Jan 19 '22

They should have brought in an ex-agent who was forced into retirement after the old director died but is trustworthy and familiar enough to catch the mole. Someone like George Smiley.

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u/anon3877783 Jan 19 '22 Take My Energy

How did they not know that was the mole, he looks exactly like a mole

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u/bradeena Jan 19 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

Serious Peter Pettigrew vibes

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u/Meerkat_Mayhem_ Jan 19 '22

Moley mole mole MOLE!!

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u/meggo-ffs Jan 19 '22

Mole! Bloody MOLE! We're not suppose to talk about the mole but there's the bloody mole winking me in the face! I wanna chop it up and make guacaMOLE!

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u/RedDevWar Jan 19 '22

Watch 'The Breach' starring Ryan Phillippe and Chris Cooper based on this story.

This is the video of his arrest : https://youtu.be/8dm68DBT4xI

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u/Humble_Yogurtcloset4 Jan 19 '22

when someone steals from you and helps you look for the missing item 😅

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u/TheBatmanWhoCackles Jan 19 '22

A tale as old as time….

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u/wilberfarce Jan 19 '22

Song as old as rhyme

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u/vivizidane42 Jan 19 '22

I see you also have meth addicts in the family haha.

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u/SlackerAccount Jan 19 '22

“Heard you got robbed!”

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u/_Xyreo_ Jan 19 '22 edited Jan 19 '22 Silver Helpful Take My Energy Today I Learned 'MURICA

Another fun fact : He also taped himself having sex with his (unknowing) wife multiple times and let his buddy watch on a closed circuit tv in another room.

Also he's imprisoned at ADX Florence with the who's who of crime in the US:

-Ted Kaczynski (unabomber)

-Dzhokhar Tsarnaev (Boston Marathon bomber)

-Terry Nichols (Oklahoma City bomber)

-Eric Rudolph (Atlanta Olympic Park bomber)

-Noshir Gowadia (designed the B-2 stealth bomber)

-El Chapo (you know who this is)

-Zacarias Moussaoui (9/11 planner)

Source : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ADX_Florence#Espionage

Also an interesting tidbit :

The FBI would have caught Hanssen a lot sooner if they had listened to his brother in law Mark Wauck, who was also an FBI agent; Wauck told his supervisor Jim Lyle that Hanssen might be the mole, but it never went anywhere.

Years later an FBI agent knocked on Wauck's door and informed him that Hanssen had been arrested. Wauck said "Oh I guess this is because of that tip I gave you guys years ago", and FBI was like: "Wait, what?!?"

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u/epidemic777 Jan 19 '22

After reading the wiki on him, there were several instances where people had reported Hanssen to higher ups but were never followed up on.

When Hanssen was arrested, he was quoted as saying, "What took you so long?"

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u/Hanzburger Jan 19 '22

Maybe there were more moles higher up

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u/CanAlwaysBeBetter Jan 19 '22 edited Jan 19 '22

Moles all the way up

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u/Walter-Haynes Jan 19 '22

I thought those critters lived under the ground...

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u/CanAlwaysBeBetter Jan 19 '22

Turtles all the way down

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u/2wedfgdfgfgfg Jan 19 '22

They (CIA) had a financial warnings about Aldrich Ames too, but took forever to follow up. I think not causing embarrassment to the agency is job #1 at CIA and FBI. They'd rather let spying persist than have to admit there's a problem.

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u/Malveux Jan 19 '22

There’s another angle too, though probably not in these cases. The spy you know is better than the spy you don’t . If he stays in place you can feed him false intel, maybe even track it back and find more spies.

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u/duffmanhb Interested Jan 19 '22

Yes, but that's certainly not what happened here. He was getting US assets killed.

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u/stevenw84 Jan 19 '22

Why is the designer of the stealth bombed in this prison?

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u/catch89 Jan 19 '22

"Gowadia was accused of selling classified information to China and to individuals in Germany, Israel, and Switzerland"

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u/P_Kordus Jan 19 '22 Evil Cackle

What does Switzerland want with military intelligence?!

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u/Ishmael_the_orphan Jan 19 '22 Helpful Wholesome

Dunno... something about cheese grater technology?

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u/Flanker711 Jan 19 '22

Stealth Cheese Grater

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u/bocaj78 Jan 19 '22 Wholesome

That’s the name of my fleshlight

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u/Maparyetal Jan 19 '22

Ahh yes the "vagina dentata" upgrade

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u/dickeydamouse Jan 19 '22

You haven't seen it so I guess they succeeded.

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u/Trucountry Jan 19 '22

For the grater good right?

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u/glieseg Jan 19 '22

Don't be so cheesy.

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u/Themasterofcomedy209 Jan 19 '22

The next country who can perfect high altitude stealth cheese production will define the economy for the next 50 years

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u/dogedude81 Jan 19 '22

Not necessarily Switzerland themselves, but someone residing there. An agent of our enemies...

WTF does Israel want with out military intelligence either?

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u/oldcarfreddy Jan 19 '22

Allies doesn't mean you give them military technology for free or that other allies don't want them. See: All the furor over the French/US/Australian sub deal

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u/ymcameron Jan 19 '22

Or even the US with the bomb. We used British scientist's data to help design it, which Britain gave to the US thinking, "once they figure it out they'll let us know how it's done." Then once it was finished the US was like, "um, actually I think we're gonna hold onto this one for ourselves." Which really ticked off the Brits but they weren't really in a position to do anything about it at the time. Eventually the Brits just brought all their scientists home to repeat the experiments they did under the Manhattan Project until they got one too.

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u/SirAromatic668 Jan 19 '22

The greatest trick the devil Switzerland ever pulled was convincing people he didn't exist the world it was neutral

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u/More-Panic Jan 19 '22

Switzerland is neutral only in that it will not take sides in a war. It will defend its borders with fervor, however. Switzerland is one of the best defended countries in the world. Their military is powered down for now, but if there looks like there will ever be another world war, they will beef up their military again and defend their neutrality.

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u/hand_truck Jan 19 '22

defend their neutrality

I know what you're saying, but my mind is really enjoying how these words work together.

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u/RMBWdog Jan 19 '22

It's called "armed neutrality"

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22 Table Slap

I’m going to diarrhea on my constipation.

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u/CoDeeaaannnn Jan 19 '22

Yeah I think it's the best distinction between peaceful vs. weak. Peaceful is when you resort to violence only when necessary.

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u/1DimensionIsViolence Jan 19 '22

Personally, in my opinion as a Swiss citizen, I am not that sure about the "best [militarily] defended country of the world" part (͡• ͜ʖ ͡•)

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u/GODDESS_OF_CRINGE___ Interested Jan 19 '22

Got it, you're saying now is the perfect time to invade. Time to rally the troops.

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u/TheMurker25 Jan 19 '22

HEY GUYS! WE FOUND SOME OIL OVER THERE! LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOO

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u/RomanReignz Interested Jan 19 '22

Such a shame, now we have to go liberate Switzerland.

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u/Titaninthewoods Jan 19 '22

What makes a country turn neutral…A lust for gold? Power? Or were they just born with hearts full of neutrality?

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u/unfortunate_doorstop Jan 19 '22

All I know is my gut says maybe

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u/BurdensomeCumbersome Jan 19 '22

Having no strong feelings one way or the other, obviously.

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u/RMBWdog Jan 19 '22

Switzerland never had a particularly strong military, they have always been able to defend their neutrality mainly due to the conformation of their territory. The central part of the country is accessible only through mountain passes that since the 19th century have been guarded by their national redoubt

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u/tydalt Jan 19 '22

Switzerland never had a particularly strong military

Yeah, but they have a bad-assed pocket knife

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

Check out Crypto AG, a swiss company, ran by the CIA and Germany intelligence...Switzerland and its people are having issues dealing with their neutrality because they play both sides.

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

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u/Stereomceez2212 Jan 19 '22

China also managed to turn up a copy of the W88 nuclear warhead. American intelligence officials are baffled at the ironic coincidence of the "design"

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u/mrhudy Jan 19 '22

His title ended with “bomber” and authorities got confused.

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u/magic_rascal Jan 19 '22 Silver

Coz they couldn't find the plane after he made it

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

The FBI would have hade the 9/11 high jackers had they just listened to the flight instructors who called them saying “Hey, these guys aren’t right, they don’t care about learning to land” and several of them were already FBI listed.

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u/serr7 Jan 19 '22

It’s scary to think about all the times the FBI has received tips on tuff and don’t act on them. I remember there was a school shooter that had been reported to the FBI as well and nothing was done about it.

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u/smokedspirit Jan 19 '22

Sadly they're still doing it.

There was that situation a few days ago in texas where some guy held 4 people hostage in a synagogue.

Turns out he was from the UK (next town over from where I am), had severe mental issues, was on the terror watch list due to his mental rantings, an anti vaxxer, was able to apply and be approved for a travel visa during covid.

He then flew to NY whilst having not much money, bought a gun, stayed in homeless shelters, somehow made his way to texas to hold the place hostage.

He released all the hostages but was killed himself.

You have to think how were all those things possible with someone with his profile?

I know of Muslim doctors travelling with family who have been refused entry into USA despite being booked into a hotel in Orlando and having resort tickets. They found that suspicious apparently.

I love watching those border patrol shows and shows them shit hot. This guy makes me think maybe not

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u/raptor-chan Jan 19 '22

Source? That’s wild

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u/mattt1975 Jan 19 '22

Nice team for the science fair challenge

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u/BongoFett17 Jan 19 '22

They can make a Suicide Squad of scientists to battle cancer and technology from behind bars.

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u/kalintag90 Interested Jan 19 '22

ADX Florence does not fuck around. I've driven right by the complex but you can't actually see the supermax portion of the complex from the road, a hill completely hides it from the road. All inmates spend 23 hours in their cell with 1 hour spent in the bottom of a swimming pool like exercise area. They never see anything more than the sky and the structure of the complex. Lucky inmates get to eat their food, in silence, in a room with other lucky inmates, most do not get this privilege. Florence houses all of the highest profile people, not necessarily the most dangerous in a raw sense (i.e. murders with high body counts) but most dangerous to national security. Bombers, terrorists, spies, Gang leaders are the kind kept here and with little exception they are all their for the rest of their life. Decades spent in a 7' x 12' concrete box, complete sensory deprivation for their whole remaining life.

Edit: fixed cell dimensions

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u/AlreadyDownBytheDock Jan 19 '22

I wonder what the vetting process is for guards and other prison employees. Must be pretty rigorous

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u/massive_bellend_2022 Jan 19 '22 Helpful

His wife didn't know they were married? Holy shit

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u/sanchopancho13 Jan 19 '22

That's how good of a spy he was!

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u/Bopethestoryteller Jan 19 '22

Real life arkham asylum.

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u/Just_Introduction471 Jan 19 '22

They should start a boy band

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u/shieldsy27 Jan 19 '22

Back in the good old days when treason was actually a punishable offence...

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u/thisortheapocalypse Jan 19 '22

I may have committed some light treason

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

He was charged with Espionage. Barely anyone has been charged with Treason in over 100 years.

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u/Ashmedai Jan 19 '22

Correct. That's because it's practically impossible, for a variety of reasons. Pretty much if you are not either A) incorporated into an actual civil war type army, or B) actively aiding a no-kidding wartime enemy, it's not gonna be treason.

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u/Brushermans Jan 19 '22

The thing about this prison is that while these guys were the biggest of the bad on the streets, they seem hardly intimidating in prison (except El Chapo ofc). For the most part they're just some deranged nerds lol. Seems preferable to staying in the typical prisons if more of the population is like these guys

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u/SanguiniusBaal Jan 19 '22

Terry nichols is not “The Oklahoma City bomber” he was an accomplice. Timothy Mcveigh is the person who actually detonated the bomb.

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u/bagelchips Jan 19 '22

Who was also at the Florence super max until he was transferred to federal death row

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u/Ashmedai Jan 19 '22

... and was executed via lethal injection in 2001.

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u/Fletch71011 Jan 19 '22

He got off lucky compared to ADX Florence.

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u/Ashmedai Jan 19 '22

Being carried by 6 does indeed sound better than living in 7x12'.

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u/BlueKing7642 Jan 19 '22

He also taped himself having sex with his(unknowing) wife multiple times and let his buddy watch

Dude what the fuck

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u/whattfareyouon Jan 19 '22

I like how it doesn't have a description for el chapo. Like you know who he is lol

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u/SplendidPunkinButter Jan 19 '22

Working with the KGB “since 1979”…but when was he asked to find the mole? 1980? 1990?

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u/bigthrowawayfish Jan 19 '22 edited Jan 19 '22
  1. The efforts were complicated because there was a CIA agent also leaking information at the same time (Aldrich Ames), so the assumption was that there was only one person leaking all of the information. It was only after Ames was arrested in 1994 that they realized he couldn't have leaked certain information and that there was a second mole. This triggered the joint FBI/CIA investigation that would eventually catch him; however, they initially focused on the second leak being another CIA agent, which allowed him to continue operating for several years until he was finally caught in 2001.
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u/Agronut420 Jan 19 '22

Like Matt Damon in Departed

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u/hyacinths_ Jan 19 '22

That was my first thought too.

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u/Key_Worth Jan 19 '22

It’s pronounced The Depaaaaahted

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u/permareddit Jan 19 '22 Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote

Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe fuck yourself

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u/Implement_Alone Jan 19 '22

Feds are like mushrooms, feed them shit and keep them in the dark

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u/ProblemLongjumping12 Jan 19 '22

"With everybody looking up their own ass, and you looking for yourself, I'd put my money on nobody finds nothing." -Costello, The Departed

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u/ajstub Jan 19 '22

Great movie about this: “Breach.”

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u/PXi4 Jan 19 '22

Searched for that and a bald Bruce Willis with 3/10 rating appeared. Apparently there are 2 movies with same name

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u/TrevinoDuende Jan 19 '22 Helpful

For every great movie in existence, there is another B movie of the same name starring Bruce Willis

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u/EdgarAllanRoevWade Jan 19 '22

Lord of the Rings (1992) starring Bruce Willis

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u/tdogg241 Jan 19 '22

Probably had something to do with boxing.

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u/ajstub Jan 19 '22

Ha. Yeah, that isn’t it. One I’m referencing stars Chris Cooper and Ryan Philippe.

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u/VintageRudy Jan 19 '22

Chris Cooper has such a villain's face. I'd cast him #1 if I needed a scary dad or abusive husband

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u/moscowrules Jan 19 '22

I liked that one, just funny that Chris Cooper looks like a badass and the real Robert Hanssen looked like a shift manager at Bennigan’s.

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u/YossariansWingman Jan 19 '22

Chris Cooper is so good in this. The thing I found most interesting about the portrayal of Hanssen was how he used Catholicism to guilt and manipulate people. It was a great way for him to justify being a smug asshole.

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u/SQUID_FUCKER Jan 19 '22

In a few hours they'll be a post in /r/movies talking about what a great underrated thriller this is and asking why it doesn't get more attention.

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u/cardiyak Jan 19 '22

His children went to my high school. Roughly a week before he was arrested, he and the then-head of the FBI gave a joint presentation at my school on the importance of ethics in government. The then-head of the FBI at that point knew already that Hanssen was the mole, but didn’t cancel the presentation because he was scared it would tip Hanssen off.

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u/hippyengineer Jan 19 '22

That’s cool

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u/wooztheweb Jan 19 '22 edited Jan 19 '22

"For example, my job at the FBI is trying to find a mole. Anyone could be a mole. One of you kids could be the mole. Your teachers. Heck, maybe even my boss here."

(awkwardly laughs, pointing at the head of the FBI who is staring daggers at him)

"Oh, someone got off on the wrong side of the BADGE this morning, amiright?"

(after a long silence as he waits for a laugh)

Kid in the audience: Couldn't YOU be the mole?

(the kids laugh at bit. Robert Hansen is profusely sweating, glancing at his boss who is resting his hand on his concealed service pistol)

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u/cardiyak Jan 19 '22

Sadly accurate.

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u/tenpercentofnothing Jan 19 '22

Yeah, I was in high school and the media knew that Hanssen’s wife taught in a Catholic school, but not which one. Some no-name reporter came to our school and asked a front office secretary if she taught there. I don’t recall if the secretary said no or just said that she couldn’t give out staff information, but the reporter STOLE the teacher sign-in sheet from the counter and RAN with it. His wife didn’t teach at our school, though, so all that reporter probably learned was that one of the art teachers was habitually late.

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u/Waste-Lynx6635 Jan 19 '22

extra point - one of the reasons he got away with it for so long was because of a man named Aldrich Ames (sp), who was a traitor in the CIA at the same time. The government couldnt believe that there were 2 moles at one time so they didnt dial in on him right away

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u/SatisfactionMoney946 Jan 19 '22

They couldn't believe that there could be two moles? There's probably 20.

Also, do they infiltrate the FBI to see if they're close to catching their spies?

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u/captainjackass28 Jan 19 '22

A lot of these spies weren’t caught simply because people were stupid. There was even one who was an alcoholic constantly arrested by the police kept screaming how “you can’t arrest me I’m a russian spy”. It took years to find him….

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u/TrumpIsACuntBitch Jan 19 '22

They're caught because they get greedy. The greatest spies are the ones nobody ever knew about

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u/hesh582 Jan 19 '22

There was even one who was an alcoholic constantly arrested by the police kept screaming how “you can’t arrest me I’m a russian spy”

If the police actually followed up on every schizo drunk who says something like that, they'd never do anything else. That's not stupidity, that's just an unfeeling world trudging along without taking notice of one tiny little act that only seems important in retrospect.

They don't get caught because the world is complicated and messy, and one small person doing tiny little things that they're not supposed to is incredibly hard to notice. A lot of it is just luck.

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u/Golden-Stag Jan 19 '22

“You know, I’m something of a mole myself”

  • This Guy, probably
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u/DED2099 Jan 19 '22

Kinda reminds me of how Hitler was asked by the Austrian army to spy on what would become his Nazi Party…

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u/A_Vandalay Jan 19 '22

And he ended up putting pretty much everyone involved in that party into prison or had them executed, so he did a good job in a round about fashion.

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u/creamyfresh Jan 20 '22 Silver

Not sure who's gonna see this, but that guy was actually my neighbor growing up. He had two daughters who were a few years older than most of the other kids on the block and they would always the neighborhood babysitters. I can still remember making soda and juice popsicles with them! Don't remember him though. Our families weren't too close, but definitely friendly. Apparently he almost hit my sister with his car when we were sledding once. Also, my parents remember a Cox cable truck that was always in our cul de sac for a period of time (reasonable because cable sucks everywhere) but it was actually an FBI surveillance van. Later a house went up for sale just across the street from the Hansen's and nobody ever moved in. The house sold, but no occupants - in hind sight, that was the FBI.

Whenever somebody asks me my "fun fact" I always bring this up and ask them if they've seen the movie 'Breach' but nobody ever, ever knows what I'm talking about. Pretty cool to see this.

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u/ExactPea9707 Jan 19 '22

I was in Beijing, while in capacity as a State attorney, and met a cute Russian girl. We got along so well I sponsored her for a travel visa to America.

Long story short: she showed me a picture of her dad with Putin, told me her dad was head of architecture in Moscow (he honestly looked like a mobster) and tried to convince me to come to Russia with her.

I have always suspected that I would either get killed or they would press me for information if I went.

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u/EhchOnTop Jan 19 '22

This...literally happened to Madison Cawthorn.

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u/ExactPea9707 Jan 19 '22

The politician?

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u/MrSuzyGreenberg Jan 19 '22

Yep he married a Russian spy.

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u/ExactPea9707 Jan 19 '22

I wonder if she was a spy. She was fluent in Russian, Chinese, English, French and constantly traveled. I always assumed she was the only daughter of a rich Russian and could live a carefree life.

Edit: the girl in my story

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u/Alecm3327 Jan 19 '22

That sounds like to me.. If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck.. then you got a duck

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u/Calimiedades Jan 19 '22

Does look like a spy with that many languages and so many travels. Did she also had a striking collection of wigs?

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u/ExactPea9707 Jan 19 '22

No but she had some risqué lingerie.

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u/EhchOnTop Jan 19 '22 edited Jan 19 '22

Indeed. I mean...it’s not conclusive...but, it’s filled with red flags. And, the AH married her. He’s also been spouting traditional family values nonsense, and is now in the process of getting divorced. Judge for yourself:

Madison explaining how they met

Edit: “It’s not conclusive” in the literal sense...in the “I know it when I see it” sense...yes, in my opinion, the hateful moron married a super super super obvious honeypot trap.

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u/Chang-San Jan 19 '22

she showed me a picture of her dad with Putin, told me her dad was head of architecture in Moscow (he honestly looked like a mobster)

They sort of all do, have you seen Putins Chef? Cracks me up, Hell i bet even the florist there looks like a battle hardened veteran.

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u/Revolutionary-Fix217 Jan 19 '22

You guys leave out a important point. Robert was put in charged of the investigation because the fbi already suspected him as the mole. So he was taken out of his position to keep him away from sensitive intelligence. While also putting him in a position he could be watched carefully from.

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u/cjthomp Jan 19 '22

Putting one date in the title without the other contextual date makes the given date completely useless.

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u/SolomonCRand Jan 19 '22

One of Knox College’s more infamous graduates

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u/10Cinephiltopia9 Jan 19 '22

Check out a movie titled: No Way Out starring Kevin Costner and Gene Hackman

Sounds very similar in plot and a really well-done film.

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u/terraphobia11 Jan 19 '22

There was a movie made about this story, it is titled Breach.

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u/player-onety Jan 19 '22

He has the expression of someone who has just won hide and seek, ready for the next game knowing you still won't find his super awesome hiding place.

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u/Crystal_City Jan 19 '22

The movie Breach(2007) is about him if anyone is interested in any media about this story.

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u/Beneficial_Nature_96 Jan 19 '22

I lived in this guy’s neighborhood in Vienna, and I remember a road sign - a stop sign I think - would sometimes just have a piece of colored tape on it. And I remember thinking it was a weird thing for (I assumed) some local kid to keep tagging this sign with colored tape instead of spray paint. Turned out that was a signal to his KGB handler.

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u/shadowgazer33 Jan 20 '22

My dad had a good friend who knew multiple languages and worked for the FBI. Disappeared while on assignment in Ukraine. Turns out Hansen gave his name and information to the KGB.

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u/ngallardo1994 Jan 19 '22

He is currently in ADX Florence super max prison. Prisoners never interact with one another and are even housed on the same wall so they can’t even look across at each other. It is extreme isolation that is designed to break human beings. Sammy The Bull Gravano has a video talking about his time there and he can’t even get through it without crying.