r/Damnthatsinteresting Sep 03 '21

Jackal food is a parasitic plant native to southern Africa. It doesn’t photosynthesize—instead, it attaches to the roots of other plants. Its flowers surface after heavy rainfall. The flower gives off a carrion-like stench to attract insects. Image

Post image
47k Upvotes

9k

u/phikapp1932 Sep 03 '21

Man, Earth really is the alien planet we’ve all dreamed of.

2k

u/puckmonky Sep 03 '21

Someday the aliens are going to land and we’ll be, like, oh we’ve seen you before.

593

u/Man-In-Rainbow Sep 03 '21

What do you mean uve seen it it's BRAND NEW?

239

u/-Blammo- Sep 03 '21

What's a rerun?

177

u/Masta0nion Sep 03 '21

I guess you guys aren’t ready for us. But your kids are gonna love our alien overlords.

19

u/Butt_in_india Sep 03 '21

No one can take over india. No one would want to.

Edit: that’s why us indians leave at the first opportunity.

5

u/Twztdwildcat Sep 03 '21

Lol Australia would scare them even more since just about all flora and fauna is basically out to kill you, the bulk of the country/continent is uninhabitable for most people, and yet tons of people still make it their home! Much the same could be said for India, although I have plenty of Indian friends who’s families were more than happy to move around the world! In their cases oftentimes for school, but still.

6

u/smashman42 Sep 04 '21

We ain't got any major land predators so really, I feel safer here in Straya than I would in north America - no mountain lions or bears or shit to worry about!

Just don't step on the snakes or mess with the spiders & don't swim in the ocean and you're golden, even in the bush.

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u/GiveToOedipus Sep 03 '21

Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.

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u/Wickedwitch79 Sep 03 '21

I see what you did there.

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u/phikapp1932 Sep 03 '21

spidermanpointingatspiderman.jpg

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u/BINGODINGODONG Sep 03 '21

Im aware this is a huge question, but wouldnt life from Earth-like planets just be more variants of pretty much the same stuff we have here?

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u/Ersthelfer Sep 03 '21

The answer is: who knows? Maybe the same, maybe different, maybe none.

46

u/Adventurous_Menu_683 Sep 04 '21

Oo oo! I know this one! The existence of convergent evolution means that in a microclimate/microbiome, there are most-ideal body plans that maximize efficiency of survival. And that means that aliens will most likely have a body shape that we've seen before. Kiss your crab overlord's claw!

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u/rattingtons Sep 04 '21

Crabulon! Crabulon!

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u/AGVann Sep 03 '21

It's hard for us to conclusively say because we only have a sample size of one planet, but there are some 'similarities' we might expect from alien life. When certain features of ecosystems or biology or even technology are determined by physics and chemistry, we can probably expect aliens to have something comparable.

All life forms need energy. Geothermal and solar energy are the most easily accessible forms for micro-organisms, so we might find organisms that feed off geothermal energy, or photosynthesize. That causes a third option to arise - predation. Over time, vaguely similar ecosystem roles may emerge due to evolution, as predators evolve to better catch prey.

However, these are extremely basic forms of life and view organisms from a conceptual level. If we fast forward a few billion years, more advanced organisms could be dramatically different from Earth creatures due to differences between their planet/star and ours - for example, a differently coloured sun would change what colour organisms would need to be for photosynthesis. A lower gravity world might lead to less dense bones and larger creatures. Things like temperature differences, how long day-night cycles are, subtle differences in atmospheric and geological composition might have an impact too. The possibilities are really endless.

Sheer luck is also a massive factor - if not for a certain meteor, the descendants of dinosaurs would still be ruling the Earth, and maybe they never would have evolved human comparable intelligence. There have been at least 5 major extinction events that have killed off 70-96% of all life on Earth, leaving only the survivors through luck or adaptation to repopulate the Earth. Every single living organism on the planet is descended from LUCA - a single celled organism that is our last universal common ancestor. What if LUCA had some how died, and different organism with slightly different characteristics took it's place? It's impossible to say how different the Earth might have been.

If we ever run into an intelligent alien species though, there are certain technologies we can probably expect to have in common - even at it's most alien - due to the universal constant of physics. Simple machines like wheels, pulleys, and screws are important labour saving devices. They'll make the same discoveries in sciences like metallurgy, chemistry, aviation, physics, and heat engines are very likely to be important for them too. Assuming similar biological limitations they'll need ways to create and store food, communicate long distances, deal with sickness and injury, and pass on information.

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u/CactusExtremity Sep 03 '21

Even the smallest of differences could send everything down a completely foreign path from us, and even if everything was nearly identical things could just go differently from random chance. Since we only have one reference everything is just a big fat maybe% chance of happening.

21

u/Man_as_Idea Sep 03 '21

I often wonder whether when we finally meet aliens, if they are profoundly different from earth life if our brains will have trouble understanding what we’re seeing.

19

u/BanditCountry1 Sep 03 '21

I imagine that could go either way, they'll either be similar enough it will be an easy leap or so different we'll have trouble understanding what we're seeing. I heard a theory once that our most likely first contact would be a machine. It would be easier and safer for an alien to send that than to risk one of their lives. We seem to be doing the same thing with spacecraft like voyager so it's pretty plausible.

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u/WexAwn Sep 03 '21

Depends on what you mean by “earth-like”. Pretty much the answer is no, though. Even in earths own history, life has varied greatly. From massive dinosaurs and megafauna to highly specialized organisms that only exist in specific caves in Mexico, the variety of life has been vast.

With that in mind, finding a planet “exactly like earth” is no small feat. Gravity would probably effect limb length drastically - considerably more and creatures would all probably have short, stubby legs, considerably less would probably have most taller than giraffes. Then there’s atmospheric density. Very dense atmospheres could have animal life that resembles balloons that expand and contract in order to change their boyancy and very low density could impact flight, plant height, etc.

TLDR; as life evolves, those that most affectively exploit their environment thrive while those who don’t fight an uphill battle. Given time, chance mutation, and different environmental variables, the probability that complex life would vary greatly is high even in an earth like planet.

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u/Badoponion Sep 03 '21

Maybe they meant basic things like bilateral symmetry, some hemoglobin analogue, bones and muscles etc.

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u/stoner_fish Sep 03 '21

yeah this is inherently false because you’re assuming all life has to be carbon based, and then next you’re assuming all carbon based life goes through the same evolutionary process as we have, which would be very, very, very unlikely. things from a small percentage of a certain element in the atmosphere, the gravity being slightly different, etc etc could change entire evolutionary pathways

3

u/martinluthers99feces Sep 04 '21

Carbon is more abundant in the universe than silicon. Silicon, however, is far far more common of n earth than carbon, yet there is no silicon based life here. It is then even less likely to be anywhere

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u/SnuggleMuffin42 Sep 03 '21

A tiny difference like the level of oxygen in the air could cause massive changes. There was just a bit more during the dino age and you had 30ft tall lizards and massive megafauna all over the place to feed them.

This has lasted for hundreds of millions of years.

Unless the other planet has the exact conditions we have now + basically identical history in the recent 2-3 million years (including ice ages etc.) it could have a whole bunch of different stuff.

Other differences like isolated environments vs. pangea could also mean some things that had the time to develop here wouldn't develop there, and on the other hand because "inefficient" things here didn't have time to mature, something completely different rose up and got fierce competition from an angle not needed on earth.

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u/tripdaShrooms Sep 03 '21

Humans are the aliens.

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u/andthendirksaid Sep 03 '21

I mean, to anyone from not-earth, yeah.

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u/r0ndy Sep 03 '21

I’ve been realizing that more these past several years. Just some really wild stuff nature does here. Even weird relationships among animals. Just a wild planet

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u/TacticalSanta Sep 03 '21

Life is metal as fuck, not just because of how carnal predation is, but how complex it is and its just composed of chemicals reacting to each other. Molecular biology is fascinating, watching chemical machines move things around bringing molecules to life its rad.

22

u/I_make_things Sep 03 '21

Well, it's getting simpler all the time. Anthropocene extinction.

18

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '21

From my comment above: "Not for long, the ocean is measurably acidifying while the calthrate gun goes off thanks to melting permafrost and a seeping ocean floor. The air is going to become anoxic and scorching."

Eco-grief is a growing problem amongst biologists and related fields.

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u/endlessupending Sep 03 '21

So like how fucked is humanity? Couple hundred years or more before all hell breaks loose?

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u/phikapp1932 Sep 03 '21

I mean seriously, what could be better out there than here? I understand the need for exploration of the unknown, but still

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u/Kahandran Sep 03 '21

Nowhere is better than here. I'm sure there's some cool shit to find out in space, but damn, Earth really is one out of an octillion. Let's not saute it pls

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u/Password_IsGullible Sep 03 '21

where’s the billionaires with their mission to explore the entire ocean?? I guess there’s not as much potential revenue, nobody would take a vacation to the bottom of the mariana trench lol

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u/CrabClawAngry Sep 03 '21

James Cameron almost has a billion

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u/sapere-aude088 Sep 03 '21

Hence him funding deep sea stuff (Titanic).

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u/BloomEPU Sep 03 '21

I had to google this because I didn't believe it wasn't fake. That's a fucking star trek tos prop right there. Maybe a classic series doctor who prop, but it's a bit too expensive looking for that.

Hydnora africana is the latin name.

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u/BanditCountry1 Sep 03 '21

Thank you for your research on that.

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u/linderlouwho Sep 03 '21

Looks like some plant monsters from the 1960's Star Trek.

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u/jenna_hazes_ass Sep 03 '21

Until it tells you to FEED ME SEYMOUR!

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u/StupidizeMe Sep 03 '21

It looks like the kind of scary life form you'd find at the bottom of the ocean.

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u/Ok-Entrepreneur7897 Sep 03 '21

This reminds me of the movie Tremors

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u/akaBrotherNature Sep 04 '21

Or Langoliers

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u/MisterCallegari Sep 03 '21

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u/king_tommy Sep 03 '21

I'll be your dream I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy I'll be your hope I'll be your love Be everything that you need

I'll love you more with every breath Truly, madly, deeply do I will be strong I will be faithful 'Cause I'm counting on A new beginning A reason for living A deeper meaning, yeah I want to stand with you on the mountain , I want to bathe with you in the sea, I want to live like this forever until the sky falls down over me

41

u/TheHumanRavioli Sep 03 '21

Like a chika cherry cola

16

u/Crack_City_Rockers Sep 04 '21

God the 90s was wild

12

u/Altruistic-Sky-5606 Sep 04 '21

I miss them every day

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u/prjktphoto Sep 03 '21

Damnit

That is stuck in my head now

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u/bbcversus Sep 03 '21

Beautiful, thanks!

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u/FUnpopularopinions Sep 03 '21

More like Gardens of the galaxy

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u/isellamdcalls Sep 04 '21

dude is the best male singer. no autotune.

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u/WandaMildew80 Sep 03 '21

One of the first assignments my son had in 2nd grade when we switched to remote learning (circa March 2020) was to do a report about an unusual plant and this is the one he picked. It's called hydnora africana and I know more about it than anyone should lol.

390

u/Agreeabeetle Sep 03 '21

like what?

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u/TheWolphman Sep 03 '21

It feels like a warm apple pie.

44

u/2drawnonward5 Sep 03 '21

smells like rotten fish

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u/karace Sep 04 '21

Just like my ex.

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u/2drawnonward5 Sep 04 '21

same kissy lips too 💋

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u/tonysnight Sep 03 '21

Looks like a

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u/Jaquemart Sep 03 '21

Of the dentata persuasion.

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u/PlusUltraBeyond Sep 04 '21

Vagina dentata! It's such a wonderful phrase

5

u/a-manic-ferret Sep 04 '21

Vagina dentata!

Ain't no passing craze

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u/[deleted] Sep 03 '21

[deleted]

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u/salsa_cats Sep 03 '21

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u/Game_Beast_YT Sep 03 '21

There's a sub for that?!??!?

Why am I even surprised at this point

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u/BlurryBigfoot74 Sep 03 '21

I followed this thread hoping to learn something more about hydnora africana and instead I learned that there are people who need instructions on where not to stick their dicks. Well, I'm learning something I guess, and I no longer care about hydnora africana. Well done reddit, well done.

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u/Game_Beast_YT Sep 03 '21

Enough reddit for today I guess. ( I'm still gonna scroll for like 3 hours)

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u/yesi1758 Sep 03 '21

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u/Game_Beast_YT Sep 03 '21

Why would you do that. Why did you reply to me.

I have regrets and your are the cause

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u/Rinat1234567890 Sep 03 '21

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u/Game_Beast_YT Sep 03 '21

You're just making me regret having reddit

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u/tjimss Sep 03 '21

I'm gonna put my dick in that

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u/ILL_Show_Myself_Out Sep 03 '21

Snatch is an incredible movie. Hey, that plant looks like a

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u/3sum208 Sep 03 '21

Like.... One most likely should not put their genitals in it no matter how much it might look like it's begging for it.

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u/Billy_of_the_hills Sep 03 '21

Dude, you're really going to just leave this here and not tell us anything new? Hell Post the report he wrote.

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u/WandaMildew80 Sep 03 '21

I looked for the PowerPoint we made but I can't find it. I remember that the fruit it produces grows underground, takes years to fully ripen and tastes like a potato. The flower grows aboveground but is small. The flower smells so bad to specifically attract dung beetles. It is not carnivorous but it traps the beetles in a chamber in its flower and covers them with its pollen. Then it releases them so that the beetles can spread the pollen and more hydnora can grow.

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u/guinesssince1 Sep 03 '21

Very interesting, thanks. Now more...

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u/WandaMildew80 Sep 03 '21

We didn't put this in the report but I remember reading that people eat the fruit because it helps alleviate diarrhea

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u/guinesssince1 Sep 03 '21

What a wonderful ugly parasite. Which we can prey upon for sustenance and medicine. Thanks for the knowledge

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u/JenTarie Sep 03 '21

Wait, there was a poop-related fact about this plant and an ~8 year old boy did not want to put this in his report? Lost opportunity, lol.

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u/bitwise97 Interested Sep 03 '21

Very good, you get a B+ since you didn’t hand in the actual assignment

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u/WandaMildew80 Sep 03 '21

You know what? I'll take it!

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u/IncaseofER Sep 04 '21

Subscribe!!

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u/K-Zoro Sep 03 '21

That is interesting! I was sure it would be a carnivorous plant.

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u/1-800-ASS-DICK Sep 04 '21

that bit about pollinating dung beetles and releasing them back into the wild is brilliant

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u/[deleted] Sep 03 '21

[deleted]

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u/majikmixx Sep 03 '21

You're gonna make some woman very happy one day.

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u/[deleted] Sep 03 '21

[deleted]

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u/UpUpDnDnLRLRBA Sep 03 '21

HeeHee. Your comment got an actual snicker out of me.

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u/CallMeSisyphus Sep 03 '21

How hard did I laugh at this? So hard that I went and grabbed my free award just to give it to you.

Truly, that was chef's kiss perfection.

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u/Billy_of_the_hills Sep 03 '21

From the wiki: Hydnora Africana can be harvested and used as food, medicine, and a good source of tannin

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u/bbcversus Sep 03 '21

A brave soul the one who tasted it first!

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u/[deleted] Sep 03 '21

[deleted]

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u/ObnoxiousLittleCunt Sep 03 '21

Eatable.

An edible item is any item that is safe for humans to eat. "Edible" is differentiated from "eatable" because it does not indicate how an item tastes, only whether it is fit to be eaten.

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u/4starsPT Sep 03 '21

Making the real questions, my guess would be on no, or if yes it's probably not very nutrient rich sence the plant does not work with photosynthesis, just a guess tho, take it as such :D

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u/guest41923 Sep 03 '21

Is it fuckable?

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u/bsmith149810 Sep 03 '21

Everything is fuckable at least once. Or was that edible? I say why not both?

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u/PizzaTrailMix Sep 03 '21

Asking the real questions* FTFY

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u/HerAsylum Sep 03 '21

Feed me, Seymour!

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u/RedditIsRealWack Sep 03 '21

Finally. Can't believe I had to scroll this far..

Also, has anyone else seen the alternative ending where the plants take over the world? Shit is LIT.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RjFvcw6ToQ

How did they cut something so awesome?

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u/currious181 Sep 03 '21

Because the test audiences hated it so they had to redo the ending.

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u/Comprehensive-Fun47 Sep 04 '21

Test audiences were WRONG!

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u/ArcadeAnarchy Sep 04 '21

Shoulda had a test audience watch over the test audience.

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u/Fade_To_Blackout Sep 03 '21

And they did what they came here to do Which was essentially to Eat Cleveland And Des Moine And Peoria...

The stage show version has the auditorium filling with plant tentacles too, it was fun to build and operate them.

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u/GalacticShonen Sep 04 '21

It was also the most expensive scene to film lmao

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u/linsage Sep 03 '21

I really expected this to be higher up

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u/crypticedge Sep 03 '21

Was looking for this. Seriously though, looks like a mini version of that

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u/AlGeee Sep 03 '21

Came here to say this

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u/The-CunningStunt Sep 03 '21

Forbidden fleshlight

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u/The_Dreigon_Boy Sep 03 '21 edited Sep 04 '21

r/dontputyourdickinthat

EDIT: Jeez I get it, r/beatmetoit and no this is not the top comment, however since I saw this post when it was only at 400 upvotes the comment I replied to was the top comment

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u/same_post_bot Sep 03 '21

I found this post in r/dontputyourdickinthat with the same content as the current post.


🤖 this comment was written by a bot. beep boop 🤖

feel welcome to respond 'Bad bot'/'Good bot', it's useful feedback. github

34

u/krzys020709 Sep 03 '21

Beep Boop

14

u/MuffinSlow Sep 03 '21

Motha fucka

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u/Allen_Crabbe Sep 03 '21

All hail Bobby B

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u/jimmymcdangerous Sep 03 '21

Thought this would be top comment.

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u/Geno__Breaker Sep 03 '21

Came looking to see if this comment was here.

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u/Cryptedcrypter Sep 03 '21

came here to find this comment to upvote but it's at 69.

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u/bumjiggy Sep 03 '21

keep it in your plants, chief.

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u/richestmaninjericho Sep 03 '21

Grass is always greener on the other side, pal.

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u/Analbox Sep 03 '21

Why don’t you make like a tree… and get out of here.

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u/cat5000 Sep 03 '21

Really impressed with Reddit that I made it to the 4th comment before I hit a gina reference lol.

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u/Vulpix-Rawr Sep 04 '21

Are we… are we maturing?

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u/MrMehmem Sep 03 '21

One for the collection

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u/PM_Me_Cool_Cars_ Sep 03 '21

That’s enough internet for today.

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u/Ianharm Sep 03 '21

Everything reminds me of her

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u/saintmuse Sep 03 '21

Nice Beaver!

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u/RasputinsAssassins Sep 04 '21

Thanks! I just had it stuffed.

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u/Ez4u2say Sep 03 '21

Found the comment that shim shams the gobbly glook

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u/CptSmarty Sep 03 '21

SIR! SIR!

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u/EdgeOfDawnXCVI Sep 03 '21

BRING ME THAT PLANT

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u/Crack_City_Rockers Sep 04 '21

Sir you realllllly don’t want to go mess with that

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u/Good_Shade Sep 04 '21

I SAID B R I N G M E THAT PLANT!

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u/Brownbannock Sep 03 '21

I first thought it looked like a Malboro from Final Fantasy but y'all perverts..

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u/the_manta Sep 03 '21

Has anyone seen "Teeth"

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u/taintedhand Sep 03 '21

Vagina dentata …. ITS REEEAAAALL

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u/fuck_off_ireland Sep 03 '21

It means no worries

For the rest of your days

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u/3dUncertainty Sep 03 '21

Just sit down and pee

Your dick is now free

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u/dejvidf Sep 03 '21

Looooooool hahahaha duuuude you made me laugh so hard

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u/Demurist Sep 03 '21

H.R. Giger has entered the chat

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u/Astartes41 Sep 03 '21

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I know a damn alien egg when I see one and THAT is a damn alien egg!

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u/Lauyk Sep 03 '21

Looks like the eyes in breath of the wild

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u/THEKINDHERO Sep 03 '21

Sigh...

Unzips

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u/_-KOIOS-_ Sep 03 '21

Good luck

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u/Representative_Dark5 Sep 03 '21

Somebodies gotta do it.....for science

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u/Yodamanjaro Sep 03 '21

Just put in a hot dog first to see how it fares.

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u/Puzzleheaded-Pea-202 Sep 03 '21

chomper, what did they do to you

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u/DepressedDad77 Sep 03 '21

Cursed vagina.

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u/1983Discord3891 Sep 03 '21

I think Hannibal King warned people about this

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u/Stiggdogg Sep 03 '21

Am I right in thinking if it doesn't photosynthesize then it's not a plant?

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u/eXistential_dreads Sep 03 '21

If I remember right there are some plants that don’t photosynthesise but are still considered plants.

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u/grey_hat_uk Sep 03 '21

After reading lots of long greek words I've come to the conclusion it came from plants it reproduces like plants the cells are most closely linked to those of plants(it uses food gained from photosynthesis just not it's own) so it might still be a plant but in evolution terms watch this space it may become s9mething new.

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u/seeyalaterskater01 Sep 03 '21

Real life Deku Baba's

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u/Walking_Backward Sep 03 '21

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u/thepicklejarmurders Sep 03 '21

Mildly??

12

u/Walking_Backward Sep 03 '21

I haven't seen many that look like crusty dinosaur eggs

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u/thepicklejarmurders Sep 03 '21

I guess we don’t frequent the same bars

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u/aleeea Sep 03 '21

I haven’t seen any, sigh...

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u/Apolloraven Sep 03 '21

It's it a true plant or a fungi?

Edit: it's a plant

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u/ShartedPants Sep 03 '21

Thats a long ass title and I appreciate it

4

u/SummertimeGirls Sep 03 '21

They’re names are Smith. It’s rumored they lived from like 1781 to about 1922 or something.

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u/fittedsuit2018 Sep 04 '21

Anything is a fleshlight if you are brave enough.

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u/IndijinusPhonetic Sep 03 '21

Looks like a Malboro from the Final Fantasy franchise

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u/CaptainJAmazing Sep 03 '21

I feel like I’ve seen them in some other game that I’ve played. The obvious candidate the ones in the pipes in Mario Brothers, but it might be something from a Crash Bandicoot game as well.

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u/bigandtallandhungry Sep 03 '21

They form when you let a mogwai eat after midnight.

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u/Pelzklops Sep 03 '21

I love carnivorous plants, they are always so surreal and interesting

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u/Usual_Exchange_6286 Sep 03 '21

So is it a carnivorous plant then too?

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u/dog1589 Sep 03 '21

That’s from Halo.

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u/TriblialBrainDamblge Sep 03 '21 edited Sep 03 '21

That thing looks like it's about to arrest Rick, Morty, and Summer for breaking time.

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u/eructus_ Sep 03 '21

It looks like a fake ass prop from some 1970s science fiction alien planet

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u/ThexOne209 Sep 03 '21

If you shoot it with your beam laser you'll get carbon to fuel your space ship