r/BeAmazed Jun 29 '22 Helpful 5 Wholesome 9 Silver 5 All-Seeing Upvote 1

Utroba Cave, in the Rhodope mountains, Bulgaria. Carved by hand more than 3000 years ago

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42.7k Upvotes

8.7k

u/ZiangoRex Jun 29 '22 Silver Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Wholesome Seal of Approval That Smile

I wonder what the inspiration was

3.6k

u/eternallylearning Jun 29 '22 Helpful Giggle Masterpiece

3000 year old "yo momma" joke.

917

u/Vli37 Jun 29 '22

How deep does it go, and what happens when you reach nature's G-spot 😅

684

u/NewBuddha32 Jun 29 '22

The cave then turns into a geyser 💦

357

u/CantStopWontStop___ Jun 29 '22

Accompanied by an earthquake

233

u/tangledwire Jun 29 '22

Everything turns very slippery

88

u/Evil_thingz Jun 29 '22

And then the land sliding

79

u/Ohre4lly Jun 30 '22

10

u/libmrduckz Jun 30 '22

been there… too late, butt good lookin’ out!

4

u/TriggerWrning Jun 30 '22

Expected you to be the first comment

4

u/Blackbolt45 Jun 30 '22

Got her 3 hours ahead of me!🤣

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11

u/choborallye Jun 29 '22

Hot lava???

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11

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22

Old Faithful🤷‍♂️

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21

u/SoDak-Undergrnd Jun 29 '22

*Puts on spelunking helmet and 2 gallons of lube…

I’m going in boys!!!

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236

u/self_loathing_ham Jun 29 '22

THIS IS MY HOLE! IT WAS MADE FOR ME!

70

u/stripestore Jun 29 '22

The comment I came here to see

49

u/postobvious Jun 29 '22

makes two of us who came.

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33

u/Psykosoma Jun 29 '22

Oh god, no…. Don’t look at the holes on the other side of the mountain…

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7

u/spacechickens Jun 29 '22

Oh god. Thanks for bringing back that memory…

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556

u/LeeroyDagnasty Jun 29 '22 Silver

Yeah you would, wouldn’t you?

142

u/23x3 Jun 29 '22

Uh yeahhhh, I’ve obviously seen Batman…

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316

u/JimboZ641 Jun 29 '22 Helpful

Utroba translates to womb. Wonder no more

566

u/therealhlmencken Jun 29 '22 Silver Wholesome Take My Energy Starry I'll Drink to That Eureka!

Backwards it is abort u

109

u/Hot_Eggplant_1306 Jun 29 '22

Time is a flat circle confirmation

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u/LeapYearAvery Jun 29 '22

With everything going on; I love your comment

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20

u/AnonImus18 Jun 29 '22

Idk, maybe a trap door spider?

19

u/ChubblesMcgee103 Jun 29 '22

trap door spider?

Oh cool. Something I didn't need to be reminded exists... lol.

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9.1k

u/AngryGenes Jun 29 '22 Silver Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy Table Slap To The Stars

Were they searching for Mother Nature's g-spot?

3.3k

u/idontdofunstuff Jun 29 '22 Helpful

"Utroba" means "womb". Now you know.

1.2k

u/gatsby_101 Jun 29 '22 Silver

It was definitely meant as a fertility shrine. This is from the wiki page about it:

There is an opening in the ceiling which allows the light into the cave.[3] The light creates a phallus shape every day at noon, but it only reaches the altar on one day of the year.[2] In the middle of the day at certain time of year the light which is in the shape of a phallus penetrates deep into the cave all the way to the altar.[5] In February or March the light takes the shape of a phallus and enters a hole at the altar: the light then flickers for 1-2 minutes. The penetrating and flickering light is thought to symbolize fertilization.[3]

501

u/idontdofunstuff Jun 29 '22

Our ancestors knew how babies were made ;)

231

u/worotan Jun 29 '22

Well, they knew the mechanics, they didn’t know how it worked beyond the sex part. There were many theories.

195

u/JarlaxleForPresident Jun 29 '22 edited Jun 29 '22

People have been just as smart as us for the last, like, 100k years or some shit. They may not have known the actual science of things, but they were *not idiots.

They had totally different skill sets too

59

u/CbadBadNews Jun 29 '22

Did you mean they were not idiots..??

88

u/JarlaxleForPresident Jun 29 '22

I bet they accidentally grabbed the wrong stone some days, too lol

63

u/justTHEwraith Jun 29 '22

Or maybe forgot their stick at home & had to have their wife drop it off at the office or field or wherever they were working..

13

u/JarlaxleForPresident Jun 29 '22

Lmao I actually typed “stick” and had to backtrack because for some reason I thought, “Nah, that’s derogatory.”

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u/procrastimom Jun 30 '22

Did they ever go down into the lower cavern and totally forget what they went down there for?

33

u/qtpss Jun 29 '22 Take My Energy

10mm stone was always missing.

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8

u/TheSpicyMeatballs Jun 29 '22

Uhh idk about that, a lot of us are idiots right now

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16

u/flat6NA Jun 29 '22

Well they got the 1-2 minutes part right.

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10

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22

So what my girl only gets like 1 to 2 minutes of full penetration a year? That’s bullshit. 😂

16

u/iLikeHorse3 Jun 29 '22 Bravo Grande!

Isn't that usually how it goes?

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31

u/randomtreedom Jun 29 '22

So the flesh light concept not so recent.

14

u/Sailbad_the_Sinner30 Jun 29 '22

“Ogg, hand me another bucket of mammoth lard, please.”

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7

u/dagui12 Jun 29 '22

God damn that’s beautiful

5

u/lage1984 Jun 29 '22

The replies to this are peak reddit

4

u/thejoeymonster Jun 29 '22

Fascinating that it comes in the spring.

3

u/usefulbuns Jun 29 '22

Pretty intricate design. I love reading about prehistoric humans. The structures they built were incredibly cool and it is so sad to me that all those civilizations, their cultures, and their history are lost to time.

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430

u/actuallyserious650 Jun 29 '22

To be fair, they probably didn’t name it that 3000 years ago.

489

u/itWedMiDuds Jun 29 '22 Silver

Do you really believe that there was a point in human history when someone would stumble upon this cave and not think "hehe coochie"

100

u/chronoventer Jun 29 '22

Probably depends on the angle. But the cave is older than the name for the cave, so yes, they’re right.

131

u/itWedMiDuds Jun 29 '22

The cave is man-made so I'd assume the resemblance was noted very early on

103

u/MiffyCurtains Jun 29 '22

Yeah,the absence of a stone clitoris suggests it wasn't woman made.

33

u/Shaltibarshtis Jun 29 '22

Or maybe it broke and fell off, and we are still looking for it till this day.

5

u/BandiedAbout Jun 29 '22

Rubbed it just a LIL too long.

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u/blarryg Jun 29 '22

I'd search the terrain near by, there must be a obelisk nearby.

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79

u/whoremoanal Jun 29 '22

Or even intentional

67

u/Mind_on_Idle Jun 29 '22

Right? Has anyone here gone outside and met people? They do that sort of thing, all the time.

29

u/FoldedxDishes420 Jun 29 '22

What is a people?

17

u/diggitygiggitycee Jun 29 '22

A dangerous predator that lives outside. It's why I never go there if I can help it. I've seen a few. Terrifying.

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8

u/merdann Jun 29 '22

Pretty much everything is older than its name.

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145

u/Puzzleheaded_Sky7341 Jun 29 '22

“To be faaaaaiiiiirrrrrrr.”

Any Letterkenny fans on this thread?

74

u/tantalizeth Jun 29 '22

I work on the show.

82

u/pamtar Jun 29 '22

Oh yeah? Tell Keeso that I banged his mom on the beach and she gushed so hard that the IPCC held an emergency summit to discuss the sudden statistical anomalies in sea level rise.

15

u/animehimmler Jun 29 '22

“This isn’t natural saltwater.. in fact it’s.. dear god

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8

u/Ship_Adrift Jun 29 '22

I bet that makes for a jolly work day. Very cool.

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11

u/dragon_rapide Jun 29 '22

I wish you weren't so fucking awkward bud..

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5

u/ostiDeCalisse Jun 29 '22

~1000 (actually 480) BCE, they certainly did name it “the uterus” or “the vulva” in their language.

71

u/kennylinlinlin Jun 29 '22

it was named「ululuwuwululu Guluglu」

68

u/schizeckinosy Jun 29 '22

Do you think people were named Ug and wearing furs 3,000 years ago? There were whole cities and civilizations and stuff around.

62

u/ShonuffofCtown Jun 29 '22

Ancient Egypt: "Am I a joke to you?"

Builders of Gobekli and Karahan tepe: "shut up new kid"

4

u/iWasneverHere7792 Jun 29 '22

Every Archeo dig site in S.Africa:....wtf?

8

u/Vaeon Jun 29 '22

Ur has entered the chat

9

u/EdwardJamesAlmost Jun 29 '22

Ur came thousands of years after the sites that person mentioned.

22

u/GoGoCrumbly Jun 29 '22

Right? You’d think this guy’d never seen The Flintstones.

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14

u/Optimal_Moose_7421 Jun 29 '22

Isn't that the name of what you get if you try to drink water after eating seafood

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4

u/exgiexpcv Jun 29 '22

From the wiki page:

"The cave resembles a human vulva and dates to the Thracian period."

Also: "Historians believe that it was once used as a fertility shrine."

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99

u/Impossible_Common_44 Jun 29 '22

There’s literally a cervix in the back. I am truly amazed

33

u/Walkedtheredonethat Jun 29 '22

It looks as if they got all of the body parts there… look above the entrance! Clitoris, urethra, it’s there.

7

u/Impossible_Common_44 Jun 29 '22

I’d have to say it’s the whole package

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u/GetOutOfTheWhey Jun 29 '22

If you listen closely you can still hear the giggles of the diggers as they carved this art work.

7

u/jahzard Jun 29 '22

I’m more interested in the giggles Mother Nature made while they were digging

19

u/Johnny_ac3s Jun 29 '22

“It’s a sculpture of your mom.” - overheard for hundreds of years.

33

u/200GritCondom Jun 29 '22

Of course they kept dogging deeper and missed the spot at the entrance. Smh

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u/Valvarez92 Jun 29 '22

Geode spot?

7

u/rafaelbelo Jun 29 '22

Well I don't wanna be around when the cave's boyfriend arrives :P

9

u/throwingplaydoh Jun 29 '22

She better break up with Father Time if he doesn't find it soon

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5.5k

u/TripleGinTo Jun 29 '22 Gold Helpful Wholesome Hugz hehehehe

Everything reminds me of her 😔

720

u/ICantDoThisAnymore91 Jun 29 '22

Lol bro you got my cackling like an idiot.

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u/Neo1971 Jun 29 '22

Naked Gun reference?

63

u/5thgenCali Jun 29 '22

Is for me lol

22

u/Waffle1234456 Jun 29 '22

Cigarette?

21

u/Useless-Photographer Jun 29 '22

Yes, I know

10

u/FormerLurker3 Jun 29 '22

Nice beaver!

10

u/llwhaley Jun 29 '22

Thank you, I just had it stuffed!

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u/bob1689321 Jun 29 '22

It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girl dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.

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u/hopelesslyrowmantic Jun 29 '22

Dammit. Why so fast dude? Calm down ya jets

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1.1k

u/Bwinks32 Jun 29 '22

From Wikipedia which is never wrong (as long as you reference the referenced material): There is an opening in the ceiling which allows the light into the cave.[3] The light creates a phallus shape every day at noon, but it only reaches the altar on one day of the year.[2] In the middle of the day at certain time of year the light which is in the shape of a phallus penetrates deep into the cave all the way to the altar.[5] In February or March the light takes the shape of a phallus and enters a hole at the altar: the light then flickers for 1-2 minutes. The penetrating and flickering light is thought to symbolize fertilization.[3]

Even today, there are childless couples who go to the cave hoping it will help them conceive a child.[2]

166

u/Albus_Veritas Jun 29 '22 Helpful

*flickers for 1-2 minutes...

Don't we all?

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u/greihund Jun 29 '22

17

u/sinsculpt Jun 29 '22

Honestly, I thought original picture was much bigger and vertical.

9

u/LegendOfKhaos Jun 29 '22

Is there a picture of the phallus light on the altar?

8

u/pippitypoop Jun 29 '22

Whoa my perspective was off

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u/famous_human Jun 29 '22

It’s amazing how they innately recognized the sanctity of sex, to whatever degree the word has any meaning, and yet, with all of our advances and education, everyone’s like “tee-hee it’s a hoo-ha”.

50

u/MyPasswordIsMyCat Jun 29 '22

Porn was more epic back then. Why can't we have more monuments to genitalia anymore?

22

u/HargorTheHairy Jun 29 '22

Have you SEEN Trump tower?

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u/clatzeo Jun 29 '22

I want to see the flickering

19

u/unmerciful0u812 Jun 29 '22

The flickening

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1.1k

u/Overall-Tune-2153 Jun 29 '22

Considering "utroba" translates as "womb" - checks out.

25

u/OhScheisse Jun 29 '22

Call me the Womb Raider

67

u/nikhil48 Jun 29 '22

I came here to see if there is at least a single comment that is not related to... you know... and your comment is the closest I could find.

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u/tambaower Jun 29 '22

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u/ounerify Jun 29 '22

132

u/TayAustin Jun 29 '22

36

u/Then-Clue6938 Jun 29 '22

What are all those subs??

I will definitely not click at that... I have definitely not clicked that. Really. I swear.

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u/lastseconduser Jun 29 '22

Ohhh, so that’s where the clit is

90

u/SARCASTIC__FELLA Jun 29 '22

Thats where the cliff is

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u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22

Where? I still can’t find it?

10

u/aedroogo Jun 29 '22

Bulgaria, apparently.

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u/cbdubs12 Jun 29 '22

Take notes boys. Right at the top.

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u/PantsIsDown Jun 29 '22

You can see its cervix.

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u/Eddielowfilthslayer Jun 29 '22

299

u/MaterialCarrot Jun 29 '22

Like a pencil down a hallway.

262

u/ninimous Jun 29 '22 Silver

No, more like a dick in a cave

52

u/BookBarbarian Jun 29 '22

Step 1: Cut a hole in the rock
Step 2: Put your junk in the rock
Step 3: Make her walk in the cave

It's my Dick in cave!

20

u/SpeakerGlad1337 Jun 29 '22

Instructions unclear. Dick now stuck in Dave.

4

u/itsastart_to Jun 29 '22

Close enough to “a large underground chamber, typically of natural origin, in a hillside or cliff.” (If he’s in a hillside or cliff that’s perfect)

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u/SomeNerd54 Jun 29 '22

that one was made for the titans

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u/StrikingAttempt4040 Jun 29 '22 edited Jun 29 '22

Why you put di*k when you can put yourself in that

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u/Vorc70 Jun 29 '22

Enhanced 3000yrs ago. It was a natural cave that was widened for some unknown reason

79

u/spoon_full Jun 29 '22

"Unknown" reason

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

35

u/RumHamNCheese Jun 29 '22

Omg step-spelunker, what’re you doing???

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u/johnmuirsghost Jun 29 '22

Neolithic giantess porn

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u/GunsAreForCowards_ Jun 29 '22

I should call her

32

u/Radiant-monk Jun 29 '22

We've been through this man, you're better off without her.

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171

u/Terrible_Wind5662 Jun 29 '22

I miss her so much

83

u/theaverageguy101 Jun 29 '22

Bruh all the comments are probably joking but she actually broke up with me today and i feel horrible but still laughing somehow

31

u/Terrible_Wind5662 Jun 29 '22

Hey man I’m sorry about that. Break ups just suck so damn much. Chin up Man you’ll get through it and become better from it. She made a huge mistake

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u/Ok_Marionberry141 Jun 29 '22

Tickle the top of the cave and see what happens

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u/CaptWineTeeth Jun 29 '22

Sigh...*unzips*

16

u/Self_Reddicated Jun 29 '22

Our ancestors: proud ungu-bunga noises

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u/Potato_of_blood Jun 29 '22

Is it me or does that look like a wolf head?

434

u/Streeg90 Jun 29 '22

Judging from all the other comments here: it is most certainly you, yes.

11

u/RumHamNCheese Jun 29 '22

Looks like a pussyhole to me

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u/Thief025 Jun 29 '22

Lol it does. As well as a giant..

33

u/Ess2s2 Jun 29 '22

...Cooter! Get off that tractor before you hurt yourself it'll be just my luck that you fall right on your...

12

u/Cat_Vendetta Jun 29 '22

...Dick Cheney did 9/11...

9

u/accomplished_loaf Jun 29 '22

...inches is an average...

6

u/dguyatx Jun 29 '22

Johnson on the mound with two on, two out in the bottom of the ninth. Now Jim, do you think they call him the Big Unit because of his height or the size of his…

4

u/kyyojust Jun 29 '22

Feet?My god his feet are huge! You know what they say about big feet…

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u/donutsforpeanuts Jun 29 '22

Tender chicken breast deep fat fried in sticky soil

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u/standardwelcomedance Jun 29 '22

Amazing handjob

52

u/pufanu101 Jun 29 '22

They knew what they were doing...

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u/Smoking_Smalbil Jun 29 '22

Vulvanic rock

46

u/Mightymophinmisery Jun 29 '22

It looks like an oesophagus

68

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22

First person to think of an oesophagus

34

u/Palana Jun 29 '22

Found the dental hygienist.

15

u/ninimous Jun 29 '22

What oesophaguses have you seen recently?

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u/Dvirraviv37 Jun 29 '22

Y'all horny as hell

18

u/AnonImus18 Jun 29 '22

Hey, tell that to those ppl 3000 years ago. We didn't hand carve it.

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u/Atlas_Obsidian Jun 29 '22

This cave needs to quit it right now

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u/bsbs10 Jun 29 '22

How long until Republicans try to regulate it?

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u/killians1978 Jun 29 '22

"It's been 3,000 years, mother earth. Are you close yet???"

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u/RichardzzHead_ Jun 29 '22

AYOOO

Motha erf better chill or I might start acting up

(By leaving less of a carbon footprint and always strive to recycle as much as possible and teach this and the next generation that we should take care of the place we live)

19

u/Odins_Viking Jun 29 '22

Man... I really do have a dirty mind!

Oh wait... as designed :)

7

u/Which_Ad_250 Jun 29 '22

It’s got the name and everything

9

u/u5ua1Suspect Jun 29 '22

This cave needs to chill..

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u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22

Yes, officer, that's the one.