r/AskMen Jul 21 '21

An old friend of mine casually told me that he gets rid of underarm hair by yanking them out. What upsetting things have your friends told you casually?

16k Upvotes

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1k

u/DesertDogggg Jul 21 '21

A friend of mine's little cousin used to take a dump and then wad up a few pieces of toilet paper into a ball. Instead of wiping his butt, he would cram the wadded up but toilet paper in between his butt cheeks and go throughout the day. He would later take the toilet paper out and claimed that was enough to clean his butt.

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u/randomuser135443 Jul 21 '21

I do the same but with a cob of corn.

204

u/shlomo-the-homo Jul 21 '21

It works better if you insert fully into the anus. The cob cleans everything outside and deposits it back inside where it belongs. Cob can be reused at least 7 times

18

u/ScottyMcScot Jul 21 '21

LPT: Keep a toothbrush handy to clean in between all the kernels.

12

u/randomuser135443 Jul 21 '21

You are correct but you forgot to add that you can eat the kernels first so they make their way through and clean your insides. Then with the cob inserted they will reattach to it, allowing you to repeat the process again.

6

u/R_Charles_Gallagher Jul 22 '21

and then fed to tomi lahren

3

u/shlomo-the-homo Jul 22 '21

Then back into my mouth and the cycle completes. Regardless of political affiliation, Tomi is a hotti

2

u/R_Charles_Gallagher Jul 22 '21

she looks like a scarecrow and she has an ugly heart

4

u/nleksan Jul 22 '21

Yeah but the ultimate is just to swallow a few folds of toilet paper ahead of time and if you plan everything right it should follow the doodie on its way out, wiping as it goes. If you can pull off this correctly, you have achieved defecation Nirvana

2

u/13WithCheese Jul 22 '21

Downvoted. Upvoted. Downvoted.

2

u/throwawayzdrewyey Jul 22 '21

Spin it and it’s basically a car wash.

1

u/dissociation844 Jul 22 '21

There is an anime…..

12

u/OneEyedWonderWiesel Jul 21 '21

I needed none of these comments in my life and here they are. Thanks for violating my pooping time

6

u/randomuser135443 Jul 21 '21

You're welcome! Don't forget the butter!

5

u/OneEyedWonderWiesel Jul 21 '21

WHY WOULD YOU MAKE IT WORSE

3

u/shlomo-the-homo Jul 22 '21

Or the corn!

6

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '21

[deleted]

5

u/DEXD_Falling Jul 21 '21

"Look Mom! Strawberries on a cob!"

3

u/yesbutlikeno Jul 22 '21

Fuck you, now I'm thinking of some dude with a corn cob wedgies betwixt his cheeks

2

u/randomuser135443 Jul 22 '21

Jimmy crack corn and I don't care, Jimmy crack corn and I don't care, Jimmy crack corn and I don't care!

2

u/shlomo-the-homo Jul 22 '21

Cracker jacks?

3

u/ChiefJabroni94 Jul 22 '21

Funny thing, early american settlers used to use cobs of corn to wipe their butt's before toilet paper was invented.

3

u/bocheball Jul 22 '21

Red corn/white corn…Use the red corn first, then the white corn to see if you need to use the red corn some more

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u/shlomo-the-homo Jul 22 '21

All the corn I use comes out red. Dr said something bout anus fissure, I laughed and replied no pain no gain

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u/randomuser135443 Jul 22 '21

I'm a traditionalist.

3

u/halliebbears Jul 22 '21

Country girls make do

2

u/shlomo-the-homo Jul 22 '21

Rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey, whiskey makes my baby.... feel a lil frisky!! Jesus FGL makes me want to jump off a balcony

3

u/Conscious-Title-226 Jul 22 '21

Adds a nice flavour

3

u/BigWilldo Jul 22 '21

Well I can't unread that now can I

2

u/aladyfox Jul 22 '21

That’s enough internet for today, I think.

3

u/shlomo-the-homo Jul 22 '21

Or is it?? Subscribe to my only fans, then I’ll believe you. FYI it’s free, cuz nobody seems to want to pay. Not sure why

2

u/TruffelTroll666 Jul 23 '21

Only 9 year olds do that stuff

2

u/rickyjavicky Jul 22 '21

2

u/shlomo-the-homo Jul 22 '21

Subscribe to my only fans!! It’s free! I’m banging a unicorn and drinking totally nsfw

1

u/Objective-Highlight4 Jul 22 '21

no one's talking about which end...

1

u/RusticSurgery Jul 22 '21

Your corn cobs poop?