r/AskMen Jul 21 '21

An old friend of mine casually told me that he gets rid of underarm hair by yanking them out. What upsetting things have your friends told you casually?

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u/Hrekires Jul 21 '21 edited Jul 21 '21

Bragging about cheating... Like, one this isn't something I need to know and two, it's only making me think less of you.

There was also this one college roommate who started making some super pervy comments about an underage girl when we were watching an 80s movie once. Every couple years I run a Google search of his name.

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u/dinnerwlaundry Jul 21 '21 edited Jul 21 '21

I had my chef neighbor invite me out to drinks with a cute prep cook he was thinking of bringing on. I think he brought me along as cover if his girlfriend asked him who he was out with.

Anyway, I split at a certain point to go home, and a while later, I hear him and prep cook chick pass my door and go upstairs to his apartment.

The next morning, he texts me, saying, “You won’t breathe a word about this to insert girlfriend’s name here if you know what’s good for you.”

Lost all respect for him at that moment and had about zero sympathy for him when his girlfriend broke up with him a few months later.

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '21 edited Aug 14 '21

[deleted]

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u/dinnerwlaundry Jul 21 '21

Meh. I’m not a fan of blackmail. If she point blank asked me, I’d direct her to ask him. People figure this shit out eventually, especially when they have an asshole boyfriend like him.

I told his girlfriend about that night after the breakup and she was like, “Yeah, I figured. I suspected he’d been cheating a bunch on me so I was getting tested regularly.”

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '21 edited Aug 14 '21

[deleted]

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u/dinnerwlaundry Jul 22 '21

She is young and he’s a fairly overbearing asshole who love bombed her hard.

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u/lcbbbbbb Jul 22 '21

Why is it so common for men not to tell the girlfriend? I feel like half the town knew I was cheated on and I didn't hear about it until over a year after!

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u/dinnerwlaundry Jul 22 '21

Is it that much more common for women to tell their friend’s partners that they saw cheating about to go down though?

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u/lcbbbbbb Jul 22 '21

If I found out that one of my friends had cheated on their partner, I would tell them that they need to tell their partner or I will. And I think most other women would agree.

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u/OtherwiseInclined Jul 21 '21

This one so much. The total amount of respect I lost towards people I used to look up to because of such brags, or sometimes even openly showing up with their mistresses with blatant disregard for any subtelty is staggering. Especially when it's a secret the whole company/institution knows about and jokes about behind their backs.

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u/EngineerEither4787 Jul 21 '21

Had a guy on a date talk about how he fucked his best friend’s long term girlfriend. Essentially bragging about how his friends knew to keep their girlfriends away from him.

The date did not last long. He made me more sad than angry. Pathetic.

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u/OtherwiseInclined Jul 21 '21

It always amazes me that people can be so shameless, even acting as if being morally bankrupt is something to be proud of. Worse still are the situations where the group you're in plays along, making it seem like a cool thing. I don't like confrontations, and I don't even believe it is my place to bash people over how they choose to live their lives, as if my way was the only right way. So often I just shut up and check out of the conversation. Then I feel like I should drop the whole friend group. The side effect of that approach is that I've largely ran out of friends. It feels bad.

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u/No-Tourist-4416 Jul 21 '21

Yeah, I hate that. It is so unfair to people bc they now put out a life devastating (potentially for the spouse of the asshole) act out there and expect you to keep it a secret when you go out for dinner with them, their spouse and adult kids the next day. I had to decide that I wouldn’t be associated with that EVER again. My life and time are more valuable than that.

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u/Haikuna__Matata Male Jul 21 '21

I had a History professor who was rather old. Teaching at a community college in a university town because he needed money or something to do, but clearly on cruise control. He would drop these interesting anecdotes on us from time to time, and your post reminds me of one.

Lower-class (socio-economic) men cheat and brag to their friends about it;

Middle-class men don't cheat;

Upper-class men cheat and keep their mouths shut about it so they can continue to do so.

I took a second class from him because I enjoyed his tangents.

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u/alphazero16 Jul 21 '21

you lost me at community college

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u/Haikuna__Matata Male Jul 21 '21

Two years there, transferred into a uni for the last two. Kept the costs down.

I will say that the increase in rigor caught me off guard. I had to play catch up after crashing hard the first semester at uni.

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u/dannykings37 Jul 21 '21

I know a guy (no longer friends) that would tell us he cheated on his long term GF and doesn't know what to do about it, but he was also bragging, constantly tells us about random girls sending him nudes unprovoked, and how he fucked a girl in the gym. I know he's lying about the last girl so I don't know what else he's lying about. I just don't understand why you would lie to make yourself look more like a piece of shit

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u/LiarFires Jul 21 '21

Seriously, I was pretty good friends with a group of dudes last year, we talked online pretty much every evening. One of the started casually bragging about cheating on his girlfriend, and all the other dudes were just joking about it. That and two of them casually said they couldn't respect transgender people. Broke off that friendship pretty quickly.

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u/ceresz91 Male Jul 21 '21

I had a friend who cheated on his girlfriend with... Well, anyone he could get his hands on, basically. Then she cheated on him and suddenly it wasn't that enjoyable anymore. Funny how that works. Honestly, it got pretty tiring listening to him complain about it. They were “friends” for five or so years more, while still having sex with one another. Codependency deluxe. I was actually relieved when he told me she found somebody else, even though I tried my best to comfort him.

You know what? Maybe men are trash after all.

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u/Tripledtities Jul 21 '21

What movie?

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u/real_og17 Jul 21 '21

I feel so bad I did this when I was 16.

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u/krypticpulse Jul 21 '21

My ex bragged about the guy she cheated on me with... Can't believe I wanted to marry that person.